I'm obsessed with the fake frappuccino tampon. Medical gauze? House insulation? WHAT IS IT.

Are we going to find out that the cop's wife or sister knits yarn tampons from organic horse hair or something and he thought all tampons were the same I NEED TO KNOW.

Compelling theory from Elizabeth: that wad of cotton you have to dig out of your aspirin bottle. https://twitter.com/_ElizabethMay/status/1275496429621043200?s=19

But in the meantime here's a tampon my Kissmate left IN THE BED like how dare.

cops: *holding up a small kitten*
cops: oh no a tampon

I see and appreciate you gentle souls trying to explain the "tampon" as a piece of Starbucks equipment but I am 1000% convinced the cop is a lying liar who lies and I urge you to stop extending the benefit of the doubt to them.

I, too, am a gentle soul who wants to believe the best in everyone but after a point your advocacy for cops is harmful and l hope you choose now to stop.

If only because a non liar wouldn't have immediately jumped to A TAMPON IT'S A TAMPON IN MY DRINK. C'mon. C'MON.

"But if it's a lie, why isn't it a believable one?"

Because it's a loyalty test, not an actual attempt at deception.

Go read @AlexandraErin's threads about lies from people in authority. The lies are bad ON PURPOSE because they want to see who chooses to "believe" the falsehood. It's a test of which side you're on. In this case, making the lie more believable would defeat the point.

What's more likely here: the DOZENS of people involved in this story all innocently accepted an obvious falsehood that the internet saw through in seconds?

Or that they know it's a lie and don't give a rat's ass because this is meant to separate the loyalists from the chaff?

I could of course be wrong. Maybe it's a special coffee filter that no barista on here has ever seen, and every cop and reporter innocently believed it was a tampon.

In which case I will apologize for believing they were knowing liars rather than blitheringly incompetent fools.

And I will demand that every man jack of them be fired for incompetence and forced to attend remedial tampon classes.