My wife started working as a doctor last month. Things I’ve learned so far:
1) interns are obsessed with learning how to “put in a line”. I am very veiny and my wife now stares at my hands like a rabid dog and says “I could get a grey in there”.

More news as it comes in

2) rostered hours are not the hours the doctor is going to work. They represent the best possible scenario if all goes well. I’d suggest adding 3 hours to each rostered shift as a rough guide as to what will really happen

3) they don’t get paid anywhere near enough. Everyone is shocked when they hear what doctors really get paid. Knock about 40% of what you’d expect.

4) their in-jokes are nearly as bad as accountants’ in-jokes. Nearly.

5) they lose the ability to write legibly within about a week of becoming a doctor. Always wondered how quickly it happened

6) they LOVE three letter acronyms and abbreviations. TLAs everywhere.

7) when older people who know nothing about medicine find out that someone has just become a doctor, they like to tell the newly qualified doctor of an awful doctor they used to have

8) they really care about their patients

9) nurses are amazing. Respect them, listen to them, learn from them

10) doctors face so many “real” problems that they quickly cut through bullshit

11) they hate when their husbands dilly dally or are indecisive about anything. They want quick and confident decisions.

No? Just my wife then?

12) their houses are messy

Ok again that might just be us..... and our house was messy long before my wife even became a medical student...... and most of it is my fault, but I blame the baby

13) doctors cannot spell normal words. They can spell amoxicillin and psoriasis, but struggle with words like knock and garden

14) a female doctor will be called “nurse” more in her first month than any male doctor will be in his entire career

15) @mairenihuigin was a legend and role model long before the infamous televised death stare

16) doctors are expected to work superhuman hours but not make mistakes, whereas people in other professions are legally protected from working long shifts in case they make mistakes (truck drivers for example). (reminded of this through a tweet by @RoisinTheGinger!)

17) they quickly learn “doctor speak” & forget that their partners don’t understand most of it. We’re nodding in support, not in understanding/agreement

18) one I had forgotten until @DeenyHelen reminded me. Male doctors are referred to as "Doctors", but female doctors (when not being referred to as "nurse") are known as "Lady Doctors", in much the same way that people still refer to some Gardaí as "Bean Gardaí"

19) lunch is not at a set time - it is a privilege that you might get at 430pm if you’re lucky.

20) coffee is the real “uisce beatha”. Don’t just ask your doctor if they have washed their hands - ask them if they’ve had their morning coffee yet. I am not brave enough to talk to my wife until she’s had her morning coffee, because I’m not an idiot.

21) there is a desire and laser-like focus from interns to do things that will get you “onto the scheme”

22) When they hear hooves, med students think ‘zebras’ but doctors think ‘horses’. The former worked out well for me when my wife realised I had cluster headaches and not sinus headaches. Thank goodness for skeptics medical students

23) experienced doctors are generally very supportive to young doctors, but at work the hierarchical chain of command quickly kicks in - because it has to

24) doctors with small kids are freakishly good at multitasking. But they sometimes unfairly expect the same standard from their partners who are not as adept at multitasking. Or so I’ve heard

25) they become morbid quickly. Just now, she meant to say “are you ready to buy your ‘forever’ house?” but she actually said “are you ready to buy the house you’re going to die in?”

26) if you, the doctor’s partner, think you are sick, you are wrong unless you require hospitalisation. You don’t have a fever and URTI - you have a cold and you need to get over it. (Reminded of this by @lanajaz)

27) doctors cannot watch medical tv dramas without narrating - "that's not CPR; his elbows aren't in the right position", "full CT done & results back already, yeah right", "she's wearing makeup, wouldn't happen", "that's just bullshit, he'd get a nobel prize if he could do that"

28) Interns are unbelievably appreciative when people send in chocolates or other tokens of appreciation (a chocolate might the only thing they eat on a busy shift). It's amazing how simple gestures make a difference @Grocklecatjill

29) People expect doctors to be purer than pure. I've heard people say, for example, that their doctor was in the pub last night, as if they had no right to be. The only way you'd know that is if you were also in the pub my friend. Doctors are allowed to have a social life.

30) Your pay might be correct, but it’s equally possible that you might be tearing you hair out when dealing with payroll. Just when they finally get it right, you change hospital and it all starts again.

31) You will get paid for overtime....... eventually...... probably. But you might have to spend more time fighting to get paid for it than you actually spent working for that overtime. (inspired by tweet from @ciarakellydoc)

32) some schemes are “all Ireland”, which means you can be sent anywhere. If you have a small child & want to do paeds, your choices are a) uproot your family, b) move away from them, c) pick something else.

33) “Changeover” is approaching. It’s when the interns (& other doctors?) move from one rotation to another just when they’ve got the hang of the one they’re on. There is both excitement and trepidation it seems.

34) hospital doctors in Ireland still get paper payslips?! Paper?!

35) when doctors are talking about cabbage, they don’t mean the vegetable. Turns out they like four letter acronyms too, like CABG

36) reminded by @NiamhLQB that doctors are defined by what they’re not. They’ve worked hard enough to have an appropriate title rather than “you might be a doctor but here’s your daily reminder that you’re not a consultant, Junior”.

I’m Ciarán and I’m a “Non-CFO Accountant” https://twitter.com/NiamhLQB/status/1280991959377739780