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A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend that got me thinking about so many things. So many disturbing norms. It was about angry women on social media.
Over the years, my perspective has continued to change or evolve as I grow older and I have learnt that even as my perspective changes, when it comes to matters that effect women, my perspective does not mean much. Empathy is more important.
Listening and understanding, and then following up with actions that show we have learnt. But this black lives matter movement is an example we can use. We know that there are white people who mean well but it's no longer enough for them to mean well.
They have to speak up and join in the fight for equality with us. We don't want them to ask us what they can do. We don't want them to tell us they are nice to their black friends. We want them to take action. Get involved. Call out other white people who are racist.
Because not saying anything against racism is as bad as being racist. This is not far from what women are asking for.
The world is changing. It is no longer a man's world. Our sisters didn't take after our mothers. They won't sit at home and be happy with being your cook, and pleaser. She wants to make her own money and have her own time and make her own decisions.
She wants to travel the world, buy a house and build businesses. She wants a seat at the table and if she won't get it, she wants to build hers. She wants to decide who she marries by herself. She wants you to mind your business.
She wants to live her life and not be judged by her decision to pursue a career instead of marriage. She wants to have a say as to who has access to her body and what she does with it. Most of these things we do freely without judgement from anyone.
In fact, we are told that we are decisive and clear headed when we do these things.
Brothers, we all know that friend or acquaintance who doesn't think certain actions mean or cause any harm... In fact, we know this to the point we do not want our sisters near them.
Brothers, we all know that friend or acquaintance who doesn't think certain actions mean or cause any harm... In fact, we know this to the point we do not want our sisters near them.
The logic is as long as you don't touch my own, continue your rubbish. Some of us even have experience of being ridiculed by friends for speaking up for women. You are accused of trying to "score brownie points".
We have normalised exposing our women to danger with the hope that since the bad guys know us, they will not touch our own. See what we have done? These dangerous men are now everywhere but we are not. Our silence gave them more power and boldness.
Our refusal to take responsibility for actions that endanger our women have created a dangerous environment for our wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, and friends.
Our women have been pushed against the wall and we all know that when your back is against the wall there are only 2 options... Stay backed up or fight back. For years, having her back against the wall has caused her to build anger.
Seeing people like her get abused and neglected has created a level of rage that has brought us here. Seeing a lot men openly abuse power and continue in society as if they have done no wrong has created a see of "angry women" according to us, men.
And just like the black lives matter movement, she doesn't want to hear what you think. She doesn't care anymore. She doesn't want you to ask her any questions she wants you to take action.
Yes! There are good men like you and me who are allies and some of us will get hit by the strays too. We are tired of having women attack us even though we are fighting for them... But that's inevitable in a battle of this magnitude.
Fairness is a tough balance to achieve but we could start by being honest.
Is this world safe for our sisters and daughters and wives and friends? It is not.
Is this world safe for our sisters and daughters and wives and friends? It is not.
I hope to be a father soon and I have goddaughters who I love dearly and I would be lying if I say I don't worry about them. I do... everyday. How do I explain to them that even when they do everything they need to do to be safe, anyone can hurt them and get away with it.
How would we explain to them that we had to wait for her to get hurt before showing our anger or showing up at all? Why didn't we protect her before? We haven't we made the world safer for her? So here is our chance to make this different... Silence is no longer enough.
Knowing is no longer enough. Action is what is required now brothers... Let's make it a difficult world for rapists and abusers. Call it out no matter who it is. You may think you and yours are safe until you aren't anymore because danger was around you and you did nothing.
Yes, men are also abused but that argument is like the all lives matter statement at a time were people are taking about how black lives matter. Don't do that now.
Right now, we need to have one conversation at a time and it is time to talk about how we can stop men, and sadly even women, who make the world unsafe for our daughters. Do not change the topic.
Yes, there are psychopathic women who will jump on this for selfish gains and attention and even go as far as lying and throwing out false accusations, they deserve to be punished too but that's not what this is about either.
This is about ensuring that we are contributing in every way possible to ensure that this world we live in is safer for our daughters.
As we celebrate father's Day, may we find the strength to do what is right for our sons and daughters to come. Happy Father's Day!
As we celebrate father's Day, may we find the strength to do what is right for our sons and daughters to come. Happy Father's Day!
