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(pt. 1) near the end of last year, I was sexually assaulted in my workplace by our SECURITY GUARD. he lost his position at our store, but continues to work at other stores in the same chain under the same position. I had a friend working at a sister company
(pt. 2) & I privately told her about my experience with him and that I wanted her to keep an eye out for herself and her fellow coworkers. she told her manager, a reasonable decision - however, instead of firing him from their store too...
(pt. 3) I was met by a threat of a lawsuit for defamation by the man and the security company he worked for. they protected him, but no one protected me. while he was fired from my workplace, that is the absolute bare minimum I should've expected.
(pt. 4) I chose not to press charges against him, as he and his family had immigrated to Canada and I did not want anything to happen to his family. I also protected him. so I continued on, fearful that he would show up to any one of my jobs, as he knew all the places I worked
(pt. 5) ...my other job was at a hotel, where I worked overnights at the front desk, 11pm-7am, completely alone. and he knew that, bc he asked me (in the same night he assaulted me) what I would do if he came to spend the night with me there.
(pt. 6) I worked every night there for about a month or so longer before I couldn't handle the anxiety any longer of thinking he would show up. and I lived in constant fear that I would run into him. and I did, several times.
(pt. 7) & every time, the same fear would course through my veins and I would feel paralyzed. the worst part is, this is not the first time something like this happened to me in a workplace. it happened 2 other times, & every time the man came out unscathed & I looked irrational.
(pt. 8) it happened to me growing up too, multiple times, by my own adopted brother. & it happened in high school, by the most popular guy - & even though my own "best friend" witnessed it, no one took my side. I was alienated by everyone & bullied into thinking I was dramatic.
(pt. 9) my brother went on to join the navy, & now he's happily married with children. the boy from high school did work with the police force, & started 2 businesses that ALL of my friends supported. one is still successful and I see ads for it everywhere, constantly.
(pt. 10) my point is, no one ever protected me. no one ever took my side, no one ever told me I didn't have to blame myself. in fact, I was often told that it was my fault. for flirting, for being kind - I was accused of "stealing boys" from my friends or being a bad person.
(pt. 11) but I didn't want it. flirting & being kind doesn't warrant being touched in ways I never asked for or being taken advantage of. I never wanted it. it wasn't flattering, it was terrifying. & no one protected me. they protected the ppl who hurt me in irreparable ways.
(pt. 12) and my point to all of this is: victims of sexual assault are failed constantly, because the side of their attacker is favoured most times, if not all. but you know that. so I beg those in positions of power & authority to do better.
(pt. 13) because victims are having their innocence & trust in others pried from their hands & no one ever thinks to ask them first if they're okay to give it up. how many times must someone be hurt in these ways before we start to do better for them?
(pt. 14) and I beg those who have had survivors open up to them to PLEASE believe them. the courage that it takes to do that, I cannot even put into words. & when someone trusts you w that, you HAVE to protect them. let them be heard, let them know that it isn't their fault.
(pt. 15) because it isn't. I was a child. I was drunk at a high school party trying to have fun with my friends. I was in a work uniform. I never asked for any of it. the only thing I ever asked was for the people in my life to hear me and protect ME.
