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I was an absolute banshee in my 20's, and this is why. I found that as an attractive and ambitious young woman I was constantly targeted for predatory grooming. I had to rip out a few gizzards to prove I was un-fuck-with-able. I felt like that was the only thing keeping me safe. https://twitter.com/missdoomcookie/status/1274401998385770496
Now I have a reputation for being fierce, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad. I also still carry that aggressive defensiveness with me, which I'm working on dismantling now that I need it less. But I refuse to be victimized.
I'm very sure that's put off a lot of dudes, but as it turns out I didn't need them anyway. Now I'm helping other marginalized creatives get started, and none of us need them. Those dudes can get stuffed.
And I do want to qualify a difference here. Some of my best mentors and sponsors have been older male career professionals. The danger for young people is that it's almost impossible to discern who's who.
Which is why the industry needs to accommodate their inexperience, not the other way around. Young people should not have to dodge being assaulted, roofied, or worse to try to get a foot in the door.
One last thing. If you think I'm being hyperbolic about "dodging roofies" like networking events (especially those with alcohol) are some kind of Hunger Games, I assure you I am 1000% not. They really are like that, and the stakes really are that high.
