Short thread on how abusers gaslight. I've mentioned how my dad was abusive to my mom & I. He was thorough. But this thread is about how it goes beyond physical & sexual. Today is June 20th and for the first eleven years of my life I celebrated my birthday today, on June 20th.

Thing is, my birthday is on June 22nd. How did that happen, you ask? Because my abusive father insisted it was on the 20th and that was that. Any factual counterclaim by my mom, lead to a beating and so the years went by and I was born on 6/20. I only had one bday party as a kid

and that was shared w/my middle bro who is June 3rd so, economies of scale for poor folk, you know? Then leading up to my 12th birthday, my mom, who would leave the monster for good a year later, and I took a bus ride to downtown Oakland. I didn't know where we were going but as

I was alone w/my mom, I was happy (two older brothers & a little sister severely cut into my mom-time that I never got enough of then (or now, tbh - but my followers know I'm a proud mamma's boy). We ended up at the County office where she paid a few bucks to get a copy of my

birth certificate. We waited for an hour or so until the lady called her name -the best name ever - Floy Dean - see? - and we got the document. She didn't even look at it, she just said "Here" and handed it to me. Black women (& perhaps all moms) have a way of saying so much w/

just one word or look. I read it. There it was, too, like she'd always said: Born: June 22. We rode the bus back 7 before we got off she said to me: I gave birth to you, I KNOW when you were born. Don't forget it." That year she made me a cake (yellow, chocolate frosting) & she

and her sister - Auntie Betty had a little thing for me on June 22. The monster was gone on a drug binge so he wasn't there to deliver violence. And I have been a proud 22 ever since. *epilogue - Leah Dean aka Teenlet, is also a 22, born in Feb 22 which... idk, but it's perfect.