Many people double down on their extreme views not because of conviction but because their identity is wrapped up in those views. The threat of a person’s identity being destroyed or invalidated is terrifying.

The presence of information and data is not enough to change someone’s mind when their identity is at stake.

The work of changing minds begins relationally. When a person's identity feels safe, their opinions can be more fluid and they can be free to take in new data.

That's a big reason why social media gets toxic quickly when people begin to debate issues.

It lacks the relational element of warmth, acceptance and presence. It reduces conversations to information, data and opinion.

If someone doesn't feel "safe" to receive a challenge to their opinion or worldview, they'll often attack, try to one-up, or feel compelled to have the last word.

It helps to understand that they aren't fighting for the issue as much as they are fighting to survive.