people want hard and fast rules for what can be “abusive” (rules abt age gaps in relationships etc) bc it’s easier to pretend that those rules will keep you safe rather than the terrifying truth that any person can weild whatever power they have over you to harm you

obviously power dynamics are created and influenced by whatever cross sections of power a person lives in but like. life sucks. you can’t escape harm by pretending you are the arbiter of Moral Good and everyone around you is Bad

also there’s no harm inherent in naming or playing with a power dynamic. queer ppl play w them a lot bc it’s far easier to see and name them when u exist “out of the norm.” straight couples play w power too but rarely have the vocabulary for it bc it’s just “normal”