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Here is something I know about people who are predatory: they almost always leave you feeling small.
If they are well-established and in a position of authority, there is always a power imbalance. Sometimes, it is done in such a way that you question if you’re misreading it.
If they are well-established and in a position of authority, there is always a power imbalance. Sometimes, it is done in such a way that you question if you’re misreading it.
They’re counting on you to doubt yourself. To brush it off. To interrogate if you are to blame, somehow.
You are not. You are never at fault for someone else’s bullshit.
You are not. You are never at fault for someone else’s bullshit.
There are, of course, more overt overtures—inappropriate comments, a fixation on your looks, things that could be pushed aside as jokes.
Those are wrong, too. They’re perhaps less glaring than someone saying “I know EVERYONE in this business,” but they’re real.
Those are wrong, too. They’re perhaps less glaring than someone saying “I know EVERYONE in this business,” but they’re real.
It is common for predatory people to have friends who like them. Who think they’re good. That’s part of their narrative. That’s not who they target, so it isn’t a given that they’d be privy to the behavior. Not everyone knows. To assume so is wrong.
In the past, I have had a lot of backdoor, missing stair conversations. I have also spoken up publicly and helped other people do the same.
That is never an easy thing. And I’ve seen a lot of people speaking truths lately, and that takes strength.
That is never an easy thing. And I’ve seen a lot of people speaking truths lately, and that takes strength.
I’ve seen a lot folks reassess their own relationships in light of facts. I’ve seen people I admire step up. None of that is easy.
But sunlight is the best disinfectant, right?
But sunlight is the best disinfectant, right?
If someone harmed you, it isn’t your fault. Again, here this: you are not to blame for someone else’s crap behavior. And, as always, if you need a shoulder — I’ve got two good ones.
(Excuse the typos. I need more coffee.)
