Would you like a few examples of why people in NZ don’t speak up about the dodgy stuff that happens with their friends, colleagues, loved ones?

It really does take everyone just kind of collectively shrugging (but mostly the people in positions of power who can effect change.)

There was the married CEO who, at a conference invited two very young women back to his hotel room to “keep talking”. They were drunk. One of them, weeping, talked to her supervisor the next day about it.
She went to the Head of HR - who spent the next 3 months campaigning...

...not to confront the CEO, but to manage the supervisor out. She brought up relentless “issues” until the supervisor quit, traumatised.
The CEO continued to work there.
The two young women were never heard.
Conferences continued.
There was another conference (theme emerging)

where two colleagues shared a room because their colleagues ended up getting wasted & passing out in the other one. The guy came on to the woman, the woman said a firm no.
The next week she walked in on him telling his colleagues she’d slept with him.
She went to her supervisor -

Who said to her “well, you shouldn’t have put yourself in that position.”
Three other men then came on to her because they’d heard she was “easy.”

There was the time another CEO (at a c-suite conference) thought it was okay to drag a person that reported to him by the neck -

- across a room because she’d tried to leave the event early.
A room full of men watched and not one of them spoke up.
What about the time a GM made suggestive jokes to a room full of people and everyone just kind of laughed uncomfortably?

Or the time another GM thought it would be “funny” to take photos of a work yoga class and post to a private Slack channel?
Was anybody held accountable?
No.
Were there Iots of people that knew?
Yes.
Were there people involved who could have done something?
Yes. Absolutely.

Were the women involved humiliated, shaken, scared, angry - and attacked?
Yes. Absolutely.
If you are in a position (usually white and male) where you can call this stuff out, you need to do it.
If you can break a contract, tell someone to break a contract, get them out - do it.

You want power? Great.That comes with responsibility.
In my career I have never seen anyone who calls themselves a leader deal with harrassment appropriately.
I have seen toxic behaviour explained away.
I have seen men who explode in meetings with violent anger get CEO handshakes

I have seen HR, who have a responsibility to protect their staff, literally walk next door after a complaint was made & tell the person being complained about.
It’s why, when we say, this dude is toxic, organisations still employ them.
It is easier to stay in the reflected glow.

It is easier to ignore what people say than to champion someone who could be lying, could be drunk, could be unstable.
You know, all the things Harvey Weinstein would have said to his buddies about the women he assaulted.
Silence equals complicity, especially if you have power.

All of the examples above are true.

All of those women experienced career ending, self-esteem defining, traumau-inducing moments.

I haven’t shared a room with a guy alone since that night. I was 17 years old.

If you have power, think about what you’re protecting.

That’s all/

#metoonz #metoo