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the greatest favor you can do yourself as a creator is to realize that those debilitating feelings of inadequacy aren't a skill level problem, they're a mindset problem. you're not gonna magically fall in love with yourself when you become 'good enough'. There Is No 'good enough'
that goalpost you have in your head now of 2000 likes or good rendering or 9k followers or whatever will never, ever, ever stop shifting. once you've reached it, your mind will automatically put down your achievement. 'i should've gotten here earlier' 'i could've done better'
because the problem isn't that you're not good enough, it's that you, yourself, don't believe that you'll ever be good enough.
if you can't forgive yourself for existing, no matter how hard you try to alter what your existence entails, you won't be satisfied
if you can't forgive yourself for existing, no matter how hard you try to alter what your existence entails, you won't be satisfied
fwiw, i think most of us have this problem to some degree or another. it's a combination of growing up in the 21st century and on the internet, and looking around you and realizing everyone is so fucking good at what they do. 'i want him and i want to be like him' -richard siken
so that does not fuck. it does not fuck that we often feel inferior to others and we want to be them and we want to Do Numbers like them but if you pin your happiness on a number, a name, or, i dunno, a complex differentiation equation, that shit is not gonna fuck either
realize that 'good enough' does not mean a thing. there is no end goal in life because we just keep clowning ourselves, over and over again, until we accidentally drop off a cliff somewhere. that's what it means to be mortal, vulnerable, and therefore lovable
good or bad or otherwise, you are enough. life is work in progress. art is a work in progress. learning is a process, and even god is probably realizing he fucked up at least 503 times while making people out of playdough all those years ago so what're you gonna do?
love yourself, bitch. love yourself and the stuff you do outside of how much other people love that shit, because external validation is neither sustainable nor guaranteed to remain the same. you will never become god. you are already god
bumping the thread because i think it’s something worth reading especially if you’re someone who’s discovered haikyuu fandom is huge and numbers can be done and you’re only a little scarred by whether or not your art Does Numbers
anyway if you want to get technical the numbers are a clusterfucked venn diagram of popular appeal technical skill narrative significance and whether or not someone with a big following retweeted it so please don’t put yourself down over your art ‘flopping’ you’ll never be free
