Read on Twitter
a thread on how I feel about magic and why I bother with it despite being a fairly strong determinist/materialist
@GarshytHoel https://twitter.com/selentelechia/status/1273302891021758466
@GarshytHoel https://twitter.com/selentelechia/status/1273302891021758466
a note about belief:
the explanations I have for the world that are based on empiricism/reasoning/yada yada only occasionally map to gut-level beliefs, in the sense of informing my feelings, cognitive state, and general "stance" towards the world
the explanations I have for the world that are based on empiricism/reasoning/yada yada only occasionally map to gut-level beliefs, in the sense of informing my feelings, cognitive state, and general "stance" towards the world
so, I'm superstitious
I can say "I don't endorse this" but that statement is only possible to make if I am cutting out large parts of my cognition/body/mind out of my sense of "I"
I used to have a problem with this. I disassociated myself from it pretty hard. this was...bad?
I can say "I don't endorse this" but that statement is only possible to make if I am cutting out large parts of my cognition/body/mind out of my sense of "I"
I used to have a problem with this. I disassociated myself from it pretty hard. this was...bad?
my interaction with Tarot is similar to the way I go searching for 4-leaf clovers https://twitter.com/selentelechia/status/1263970505809211392?s=20
I don't think it's a coincidence that I didn't find any during adolescence, and only just "unlocked" my ability to find them regularly again
adolescence was when I started rejecting parts of myself that were "irrational"
adolescence was when I started rejecting parts of myself that were "irrational"
but!
"rational/irrational" are terrible words for the parts of myself under consideration
what I really did was reject an entire mode of cognition
possibly several
"rational/irrational" are terrible words for the parts of myself under consideration
what I really did was reject an entire mode of cognition
possibly several
describing these modes in words would take an entire new thread, but @Malcolm_Ocean's thread on left/right brain might get at something close enough for the purposes of this thread https://twitter.com/Malcolm_Ocean/status/1258906911874977793
but let's come up with new words
suppose there are two "buckets" that different mental states/processes can go into
I might call one a Rigid Bucket
and I might call the other the Expansive Bucket
again, these are terrible words.
suppose there are two "buckets" that different mental states/processes can go into
I might call one a Rigid Bucket
and I might call the other the Expansive Bucket
again, these are terrible words.
I spent most of my childhood in the Expansive Bucket
eventually I discovered the ability to use states in the Rigid Bucket
for various reasons that I can't even begin to comprehensively list, I mistook the utility of the Rigid Bucket states for Objective Correctness
eventually I discovered the ability to use states in the Rigid Bucket
for various reasons that I can't even begin to comprehensively list, I mistook the utility of the Rigid Bucket states for Objective Correctness
I didn't stop *using* my Expansive Bucket states
I just rejected them, distrusted them, ignored them
refused to place my sense of "I" in them outside of very specific circumstances/environments
I just rejected them, distrusted them, ignored them
refused to place my sense of "I" in them outside of very specific circumstances/environments
so when I would get messages from the Expansive Bucket processes, I tended to misinterpret them
even as they took control of my behavior
eventually I started using my overanalytical and systematic Rigid processes to figure out wtf was going on
even as they took control of my behavior
eventually I started using my overanalytical and systematic Rigid processes to figure out wtf was going on
ok maybe that is enough backstory
ANYWAYS
over the last few years I've been (re?)building the communication pathways between Rigid and Expansive processes
and learning to accept the feeling of "knowing" something without being able to give a material/causal explanation
ANYWAYS
over the last few years I've been (re?)building the communication pathways between Rigid and Expansive processes
and learning to accept the feeling of "knowing" something without being able to give a material/causal explanation
when I hunt for clovers, there is a "switch" into an Expansive state
I "open myself up" to the prospect of magic, luck, serendipity -- basically allowing myself to accept things that seem to be going on even if I can't explain them
I "open myself up" to the prospect of magic, luck, serendipity -- basically allowing myself to accept things that seem to be going on even if I can't explain them
and for some reason, possibly related to concepts like non-doing and a whole host of other things people have found while doing intense introspection, spending some amount of time in this state is really good for me
why? hard to articulate
which is kind of the point
why? hard to articulate
which is kind of the point
trusting those things that I know/feel/believe for no reason that I can articulate
I *could* find 4-leaf clovers by yanking 100s out of the ground and sorting them one-by-one
I could genetically engineer 4-leaf clovers for the hell of it (might be fun, wouldn't feel "magic")
I *could* find 4-leaf clovers by yanking 100s out of the ground and sorting them one-by-one
I could genetically engineer 4-leaf clovers for the hell of it (might be fun, wouldn't feel "magic")
if I did all that, though, it would reify the *goal* of finding a 4-leaf clover into something abstract and meaningless
I know this bc when I'm looking for clovers, a narrow, intense, comprehensive search *does not Do The Thing
I know this bc when I'm looking for clovers, a narrow, intense, comprehensive search *does not Do The Thing
now
I don't really believe that 4-leaf clovers pop into existence just because I'm thinking abt magic
but inviting a different part of my brain to the party allows the clover to become a source of deeply contextual, localized meaning
I don't really believe that 4-leaf clovers pop into existence just because I'm thinking abt magic
but inviting a different part of my brain to the party allows the clover to become a source of deeply contextual, localized meaning
this might be a core human need, it might be a tool, it might be all sorts of things
but whatever is happening, it seems good for me to do it on a regular basis
but whatever is happening, it seems good for me to do it on a regular basis
back to Tarot
Tarot decks are just. fucking. loaded. with narrative significance, classic human archetypes, number and geometry symbolism
it's rife with serendipity and novel insight
Tarot decks are just. fucking. loaded. with narrative significance, classic human archetypes, number and geometry symbolism
it's rife with serendipity and novel insight
and while some of those symbols may not "actually mean something" in an empirical, falsifiable, sense, I see using Tarot, in part, as inviting my whole brain to participate
learning to use everything I have at my disposal even if it's something of a black box
learning to use everything I have at my disposal even if it's something of a black box
or, when the process isn't a black box, something I can't turn into transmissible symbols at a moment's notice
there are so many things going on when I use Tarot: the comfort of a ritual, appreciation of the beauty of the cards, practicing narrative explanations of my life (but there are so many possible ones that I'm forced to hold those narratives lightly -- important!)
if there's something I've been avoiding thinking about, sometimes certain cards will "permit" me to think about it in a context that feels safer/easier
if I know on some level that I would benefit from a perspective shift, sometimes the cards will enable that
if I know on some level that I would benefit from a perspective shift, sometimes the cards will enable that
all of those things are good, but they aren't the core of it
the core is something like: a state change. learning to use all of my brain. rebuilding communication within my mind. rebuilding trust. unlearning the whole "if I can't explain it with words it isn't real" thing
the core is something like: a state change. learning to use all of my brain. rebuilding communication within my mind. rebuilding trust. unlearning the whole "if I can't explain it with words it isn't real" thing
to quote @meditationstuff
"Don’t inappropriately reify any of this or take my word for it. Good science is still true. Planes still fly. Government still do the thing they do. Computers compute. Stuff that’s true is simultaneously true."
and that's how I feel about magic.
"Don’t inappropriately reify any of this or take my word for it. Good science is still true. Planes still fly. Government still do the thing they do. Computers compute. Stuff that’s true is simultaneously true."
and that's how I feel about magic.
to wrap this up, I'll do a tarot reading
I tend to shuffle seven times (randomness)
cut the deck
trace a cross on my right palm to get into the correct mindset (it reminds me of a performance I saw last year where one of the actors did this to me, and it's a good trigger)
I tend to shuffle seven times (randomness)
cut the deck
trace a cross on my right palm to get into the correct mindset (it reminds me of a performance I saw last year where one of the actors did this to me, and it's a good trigger)
I tend to draw and flip cards with my left hand for Unclear Reasons
I'm fond of the Celtic Cross spread even though it's a bit complex
I'm fond of the Celtic Cross spread even though it's a bit complex
my question is a request for guidance re: an irritating interpersonal circumstance
the middle cards represent the "core" or "heart" of the situation and challenges or influences on the same
situation: The Star
influence: inverted Ace of Wands
situation: The Star
influence: inverted Ace of Wands
the bottom card represents subconscious influences
subconscious: Lovers, upright
subconscious: Lovers, upright
the top, hopes/goalswrt the situation
6 of disks, Success, inverted (hm!)
6 of disks, Success, inverted (hm!)
the right, the future -- what is likely to occur.
Ace of Swords
Ace of Swords
so this describes the situation
the cards lined up to the right are read bottom-up and explore the "advice" portion
the cards lined up to the right are read bottom-up and explore the "advice" portion
the bottom represents the asker contextually, taking everything into consideration
Prince of Cups, inverted
Prince of Cups, inverted
the next, how others see you, external influences -- what you lack direct control over
The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man
the next, hopes/fears/expectation
Prince of Cups
Prince of Cups
and finally, the outcome, where things are headed, how it will resolve if you continue this course of action
The Universe
The Universe
so, attempt at interpretation
1. the situation and its influence: Star influenced by inverted Ace of Wands
the Star is a nice lady, v spiritual/inspired. her being in this position might reflect my current state of "openness to magic" on some level. could mean other things
1. the situation and its influence: Star influenced by inverted Ace of Wands
the Star is a nice lady, v spiritual/inspired. her being in this position might reflect my current state of "openness to magic" on some level. could mean other things
the Ace of Wands is pure Fire, energy and vibrancy
inverted, it might be a warning about misdirected or insufficient energy. over the Star, it might imply that the way I'm using my energy is going to result in...lazy dreaminess? instead of the Star's real potential
inverted, it might be a warning about misdirected or insufficient energy. over the Star, it might imply that the way I'm using my energy is going to result in...lazy dreaminess? instead of the Star's real potential
3. subconscious influences represented by the Lovers
good friends. may indicate that my relationship is driving me on a deep level. or, it might be something else, but generally I see it as a positive thing when it shows up, upright
good friends. may indicate that my relationship is driving me on a deep level. or, it might be something else, but generally I see it as a positive thing when it shows up, upright
4. hopes/goals/aim wrt situation is...inverted six of disks, which is a bit confusing to me
disks Earth, materialism, money, tangible resources
inverted this might be a warning about financial issues or stinginess, but its position in the spread confuses me
disks Earth, materialism, money, tangible resources
inverted this might be a warning about financial issues or stinginess, but its position in the spread confuses me
5. recent past is 7 of Swords, Futility
self doubt, distraction, mental chaos.
well this is obviously true
self doubt, distraction, mental chaos.
well this is obviously true
6. the future, what might occur soon (but is not the end state
Ace of Swords
pure Air, intellect. potential for insight and clarity, a "breakthrough," a new idea
neat
Ace of Swords
pure Air, intellect. potential for insight and clarity, a "breakthrough," a new idea
neat
7. me, in this context, including all of it
inverted Prince of Cups, kind of a wild unreliable boy. "ambitious and obtuse" well geez
a warning about recklessness and selfishness?
this one is also tricky for me to interpret
inverted Prince of Cups, kind of a wild unreliable boy. "ambitious and obtuse" well geez
a warning about recklessness and selfishness?
this one is also tricky for me to interpret
8. external things outside my control, the Hanged Man
restriction, lack of acceptance, perceived inability to move forward
possibly advice to remember that I have very little control over how much others accept me and ought to relinquish my need to control it
restriction, lack of acceptance, perceived inability to move forward
possibly advice to remember that I have very little control over how much others accept me and ought to relinquish my need to control it
9. hopes/expectations/fears, guidance and warning
I mislabeled this as prince of cups, it's the Princess of Cups
she is a sensitive sort of person, easily lost in dreaminess (that again, hmmm)
ok I know what this means but I'm not gonna talk about it lol
I mislabeled this as prince of cups, it's the Princess of Cups
she is a sensitive sort of person, easily lost in dreaminess (that again, hmmm)
ok I know what this means but I'm not gonna talk about it lol
10. the outcome if I continue on this path
the Universe: completion of a project, wholeness, enlightenment
the Universe: completion of a project, wholeness, enlightenment
this was actually a rather ambiguous reading so if anyone else has alternate interpretations I'd be curious
anyways
yes this is all very fuzzy
but I find value in the process, + it's compatible w/my materialist worldview
anyways
yes this is all very fuzzy
but I find value in the process, + it's compatible w/my materialist worldview
