If we’re so steeped in our individual struggles as BM & as BW, that our defenses are sky high with one another, then there’s no way that we can HEAR each other’s cries for help. They exist on BOTH sides. As much as we “think” we know about what the other side experiences, we (1)

still must take the time to HEAR the words, the pains, the life experiences of one another. Our individual experiences make up our community. It’s not all felt the same across the nation. We have to hear & feel each other & be open to education & when necessary, correction. (2)

Again I ask, how can we TRULY be allies to one another if we don’t understand each other’s pains.. each other’s plights? As a BW, BM need me UNDERSTAND the challenges they face as Black men in this country, including the challenges that I can’t experience bc of my womanhood. (3)

Need me to understand the traumas of being a Black boy. Including the traumas Black boys face within the Black community itself. As a BM, BW need you to understand the challenges they face that your manhood would prevent you from ever having to experience. Including the (4)

traumas endured as Black girls, the ones dealt by Black hands. We have to understand what we go through, even at the hands of each other. WE know what it’s like to be Black. WE know what it’s like to face racism. We face it TOGETHER. We’ve mourned the lives of BM AND BW for (5)

the last month straight it feels like. Racism isn’t felt by 1 side more than the other; HOWEVER, it IS experienced differently. WHITE Patriarchy is felt differently. AMERICA is felt different. In order to TRULY understand 1 another we have to be able to vent our frustrations, (6)

to have our cries heard, to have our hurt understood, & to have the agreement with one another that 1) We are & ALWAYS WILL BE in this together, 2) While we don’t live the same EXACTLY, we are soldiers in each other’s fight, & 3) When our individual plights merge, we’ll stand (7)

together even stronger because we’ve learned how to stand together FOR each other’s unsocial battles as well as our shared ones. That will take time. That will take patience. There will be hurt feelings. There will have to be a process of accepting that no side is without (8)

fault. Pointing fingers helps us none. There’s “fault” on both sides & there’s room to do better on both sides. The onus is on us to communicate better. “You’re responsible for the way you’re received,” so while we NEED to let our guards & defenses down in order to be (9)

receptive, we HAVE to choose our words carefully so as not to unintentionally hurt one another whenever possible. One sides hurt doesn’t negate the other sides hurt. So we don’t get to use our pain to attack one another. Simultaneously it has to be understood that a cry of (10)

pain, a cry for help, won’t always be “framed” the right way. People don’t usually take the extra care & time out to get their diction together when they’re screaming out of frustration. This is where patience comes in. This is how we start to mend our communication. Once BM (11)

& BW can hear each other, once we can understand each other, once (through understanding) we can fully accept each other & put in the work to grow & help one another in the ways that we require, once all of that happens we’ll be an unstoppable, unified force. But it’s gonna (12)

take time. This country has dedicated GENERATIONS to widening the gap between us. We’ve been infiltrated from every angle. It’s gonna take a lot of time & discernment for us to remedy this. But utilize that discernment. Understand that some of us are lost causes. Some of us (13)

don’t want what the rest of us want. Some of us don’t want healing & unity. Some of us are comfortable in our anger & cling to the dissension. Ignore those & focus your words on those willing to listen. Focus your effort on those willing to meet you half way. Focus your time (14)

on those willing to invest theirs with you. When you put the words, effort, & time into attacking those who mean US no good, all you do is waste it on someone who didn’t deserve it & probably make an enemy out of someone who did deserve it but instead now feels attacked by (15)

association & in turn is left to be on the defense. & by now it’s clear that defensiveness is only feeding our problem. We have to allow each other (& ourselves) a little more grace, a little more patience, a little more care & love. That’s how me pave a road to understanding.