Read on Twitter
In my limited work w/abused women, one of the things I've observed is that true repentance is characterized by very specific confession borne out of very specific awareness, and it's not attached to any demands or requests. /1
In my experience, things like "I'm a terrible person" or "I'm sorry for the ways I've failed you. Please forgive me. Let's work through this" are often performative and merely mimic repentance. /2
The tricky part is that it's entirely possible for the performance to be accompanied by genuine sorrow or remorse. But ultimately, those performances have the effect of luring an abused person back in, only for her to be abused again because fundamentally, nothing has changed. /3
Confessions that point to real repentance are things like, "When I feel insecure, I use my words and my strength to crush and control you in order to feel powerful. I've terrorized you for my own benefit, and that's evil. I'm trying to change, but I honestly don't know how." /4
Too often, I've seen church leaders fail to discern the difference between performative sorrow and the true repentance that's necessary for transformation. As a result, they end up being complicit in the abuse, all in the interest of promoting "reconciliation." /5
Similar dynamics exist in the realm of racial reconciliation activities & events. We see performative gestures like shining shoes or washing feet or group kneeling, accompanied by general confessions like, "We're sorry for the ways we've sinned against you," but those... /6
confessions, however sincere they are in the moment, however many tears accompany them, are too general, so they don't produce real transformation. Confession that's associated with repentance is specific. /7
Examples:
"I confess as a white/Asian/etc. theologian/pastor that I have long viewed Black theology and the Black church as substandard & heretical, even though I've never really read any Black theology in good faith." /8
"I confess as a white/Asian/etc. theologian/pastor that I have long viewed Black theology and the Black church as substandard & heretical, even though I've never really read any Black theology in good faith." /8
Examples (cont'd):
"I confess that while I've publicly promoted racial diversity, behind the scenes, I've been resistant to letting non-white people correct or teach me, and I've actually done things to undermine them." /9
"I confess that while I've publicly promoted racial diversity, behind the scenes, I've been resistant to letting non-white people correct or teach me, and I've actually done things to undermine them." /9
I could go on, but you get the idea. I'm much more interested in seeing these types of public confessions by white celebrity pastors/parachurch leaders/conference organizers than I am in any sort of performative gestures. /10
