Yes. Gender/sex is irrelevant.

Unpopular #RelationshipAdvice :
A partner/SO will ultimately only encompass a VERY SPECIAL slice from the pie chart that represents your life; but a slice nonetheless (and vice versa)

Codependency is the symptom of not understanding this. https://twitter.com/liya_seedat/status/1272521277551652864

All of the Freudian intricacies comes into compounded effect if these boundaries aren’t set clearly.
Why should the female make a cup of tea? Make it your own goddamn self. Why should the male bring in the money? Go earn it your goddamn self. If not, you need a parent, not a SO.

As for all the people in the OP saying that “i should be the one and only they run to”. Sorry, but no. Sometimes the partner/so IS the problem. Sometimes a good ol whinge to your bestie offsets dragging out catastrophic trauma that neither party may be ready to deal with maturely

“What if they run away with them?”

If they are so easily allured by the comfort of their best friend, then you have to understand that they were never ‘The One’ you thought them to be.

The perfect partner doesn’t exist.
The perfect relationship doesn’t exist.

Stop chasing these Disney-ass endings and ideals for partners/so. We are all broken human beings.

You aren’t perfect. You’re not the bees knees. You have your own trauma yet you give your heart out to those that are just as flawed and expect perfection? Double standard, mate.

Mature relationships and REAL love IMHO aren’t about shit like ‘love at first sight’ or ‘the happy ending’ we’ve been conditioned to believe.

It’s about being yourself, while letting another person be themselves, together;

And somewhere along that path together, one of you will show some of your real darkness: your insecurities, your pain, your self-doubt, your daddy-issues, etc.

Sometimes, this will scare the other party off. They’re not ready, they may not have unpacked their own similar trauma.

Sometimes, they will be mature and ready to understand where you are coming from. They’ll be able to compassionately guide you through dealing with that, instead spewing unempathic tripe like “you’re over reacting”, “you’re being needy”, “you need a therapist”, etc.

Sometimes, they might take it as a call to action. They might take time off from the relationship to sort their own shit out to match your ‘realness’. More often than not, when one party shows (w/ great vulnerability) what they desire, the other begins to smell ones own fakery.

Sometimes, they are right pricks. No where close to emotionally mature enough to understand what a significant moment (someone showing their vulnerability) is. They’ll tease (maybe that’s how they were treated), or worse manipulate these vulnerabilities to their advantage.

My point is, it’s not as simple as asking “will you let your SO do X?” questions.

You can’t make people do shit.
You can’t change people.

Your partner/SO is NOT a “bake your perfect mate” project.

If you’re doing these things, check your own damn insecurities.

You can however, love their scars; Empathise with their pain;
Attempt to understand their inner-child;
Guide them towards healing;
Hopefully, just as they will for you.

Mature relationships are ALWAYS a constant work-in-progress built on mutual respect, vulnerability, & trust.

Source: Experience.

Married the first girl I fell for, stayed together for 15 years (a lifetime), now separated.