I’ve never been a victim of male violence but a close relative has. I’ve never forgotten. I don’t know that she ever admitted to what happened & it’s not my place to ask. But we know exactly what happened-your boyfriend doesn’t drop you off home beaten with zero marks on himself.

I’d always hoped to run into him at some point in my life. I want to tell him that I know what he did and what kind of man he is for it. I regret not running out of the house to have words with him that night but I was just a young girl. What could I do?

Several years ago in my life, I fell in love with a woman who was a survivor of sexual assault. There were moments when her PTSD got bad and she’d have a panic attack. There are no words to describe wanting to make someone feel okay knowing you can’t erase the pain of their past.

This debate over female spaces- isn’t really about transsexual women. It’s about protecting females. It’s about recognizing the vulnerability that comes with being a female. Nothing sucks more than being a trans man in these debates. Because I GET it.

I get being more careful because you’re a woman. I get overthinking what you say or wear because you’re a woman. I get feeling wrong because you casually slept with someone . I get being afraid walking alone because you’re a woman. I GET IT.

While I do get all of that- this doesn’t diminish my experience today as a MAN in society. Biology aside...that is my reality when I step outside my house. I’m just another man...(with a unique past) and men are not only feared but forgotten.

I notice whenever a woman expresses how safe she might feel walking alongside a man at night. Feminists waste no time laughing at her. Because, god forbid, she would want some protection. Why is that so bad? I recognize these differences and embrace them.

Why do you recognize biological sex differences in a trans debate but ignore them when a woman prefers to have a man protect her? I don’t see the harm in this. I don’t mind being the protector. If that bothers you, that’s fine. But...

I recognize how men see/treat me today and it does differ. Which is why I know that walking alongside a woman today is a different experience than walking alone as a woman...or being a lesbian with a gf, and walking together. So I’ll be the kind of man I want to be- a protector.

I’m not going to pretend to know why society is the way it is. I understand many will reply and say, pAtRiAcHy! That’s fine. I don’t see the gain in blaming all societal issues on men though. What has that changed for you?

That said, male violence is an issue for other males, too. Women, trans women, and trans men. It’s okay to say all of this and we should more often. But we shouldn’t just mention men ONLY when they cause harm to others. It’s okay to embrace them in a positive light, too

Finally, I’ll say this- a spade is a spade. I might not say it but if you’re a trans woman and behave like a man. Trust me when I say it’s how I see you. No pronoun can force me to see what I don’t. Don’t want women to fear you? Change your behavior. Do better.