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Comic Creators That Could Definitely Beat Me Up: A Thread.
1. Frank Frazetta. A true heartthrob that was both handsome and most definitely would drop me in seconds and probably comb his beautiful hair afterwards.
1. Frank Frazetta. A true heartthrob that was both handsome and most definitely would drop me in seconds and probably comb his beautiful hair afterwards.
2. Wendy Pini. The slayer of dorks. Imagine the amount of losers she must have been surrounded by in the early days of conventions. Would chop my head off without hesitation.
3. Jack Kirby. WW2 vet and legend. He would absolutely headbutt me into oblivion then throw a towel at me to clean up my own blood.
4. Marie Severin. Drawing comics 9-5 and surrounded by a sausage fest of comic creators would not hesitate to hit me so hard my mustache would fall off.
5. The Hernandez Bros would no doubt dropkick me into outer-space while Black Flag blasts in the background.
6. Neal Adams. Even at 79 years old would not hesitate for a second to choke slam me through all 15 of his exhibitor tables at a convention then charge me $400 for the experience
7. Curt Swan. He would break a t-square over my head then get mad when I got blood on his khakis and he'd give me $5 to go buy vinegar to clean the stains out.
8. Lynda Barry would chuck a long stapler at my head then smash my head into a riso graph glass.
9. Denys Cowan would smash a bottle of Dewars over my head then charge me for it.
10. Tove Jannsson. She would absolutley kill me with that Moomin knife then build me the most beautiful grave filled with flowers and mushrooms in front of a fjord.
11. Larry Hama. Everything in GI JOE is real and actually happened to him and I would find out when he wages a one man war against me.
12. Todd McFarlane. The jock of comics would no doubt give me a wedgie, swirley AND a noogie.
13. Rob Liefeld would kill me then show up to my funeral in a denim bugle boy suit and drop a somber lenticular RIP David Youngblood #1 variant and sign it for my loved ones.
14. Jim Steranko. He would wine and dine me with a long winded story about how he stole Steve McQueens’s Pitbull from his vacation home in Florida then smash a Eames chair over the back of my head and say “that’s the way the cookie crumbles, Jack” as I drift away.
15. “Hey Garth. I’m a huge fan....” *SMASHED PINT GLASS TO THE DOME*
16. Louise “Weezie” Simonson. Writer and editor of countless comics. Would decimate me then leave me concise, helpful notes about how I can learn to stop being such a wuss.
17. Simon Bisley. He would punch me through a wall after I try and make a joke about Danzig then feed my skull to a hot vampire.
18. Marc Silvestri. He would hit me so many times, it would leave a real life cross hatch all over my bloody head.
19. Mike and Laura Allred. I’d be disarmed by how beautiful of a couple they are and not realize that they smash me over the head with a cherry red Stratocaster and then shoot me with a death ray.
20. Annie Nocenti. You know why she wrote some of the best Daredevil comics? Because she is hard as fuck and would body slam me in front of a dollar pizza place in Hells Kitchen.
21. Flo Steinberg. Can you imagine the amount of dudes she had to tell to fuck off trying to call the Marvel offices trying to get work? She’d pencil me in for a 2:30 meeting to smash my head into an oak desk while still looking cute.
