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U.K. Politicians as Classical pieces of music, a thread.
1. Boris Johnson; Berg’s Pianno Somata no. 1
A cacophony of 12-tone dissonance that occasionally has some redeeming features to it but you quickly forget what. Somehow people enjoy it.
1. Boris Johnson; Berg’s Pianno Somata no. 1
A cacophony of 12-tone dissonance that occasionally has some redeeming features to it but you quickly forget what. Somehow people enjoy it.
2. Keir Starmer; Dvorak’s New World Symphony.
It’s bold, it’s new, it’s.... quite same-samey actually. Heralding a new beginning, a romantic vision of the future you want to believe in. But we’ve seen it before and gets quite bland. Something to play chess with.
It’s bold, it’s new, it’s.... quite same-samey actually. Heralding a new beginning, a romantic vision of the future you want to believe in. But we’ve seen it before and gets quite bland. Something to play chess with.
3. Rishi Sunak; Vaughan Williams’ the Lark Ascending.
The favourite of Britons, that piece everyone knows. As liked as cricket, cream tea, and coronation street. Melodious and pastoral whimsy, its inoffensive charm with a hint of darkness will endear it to the top.
The favourite of Britons, that piece everyone knows. As liked as cricket, cream tea, and coronation street. Melodious and pastoral whimsy, its inoffensive charm with a hint of darkness will endear it to the top.
4. Priti Patel; Holst’s Mars, Bringer of War
Chaotic thunderous crashing of war, pure determination, and the desire to swiftly achieve victory in battle. The 5/4 time will make you uneasy, which is the desired effect. Be on your guard, for there is a sense of impending doom.
Chaotic thunderous crashing of war, pure determination, and the desire to swiftly achieve victory in battle. The 5/4 time will make you uneasy, which is the desired effect. Be on your guard, for there is a sense of impending doom.
5. Lisa Nandy; John Cage’s Dream
Quite a lot going on intellectually and of considerable note, but a bit too bland for most people. Has a lot to say but sadly not many pay attention. Could do with some livening up. There is such a thing as too much subtlety.
Quite a lot going on intellectually and of considerable note, but a bit too bland for most people. Has a lot to say but sadly not many pay attention. Could do with some livening up. There is such a thing as too much subtlety.
6. Michael Gove; Prokofiev’s Dance of the Knights.
Up and down, up and down, always plummeting back down as it reaches the top. Creates an ominous sense of scheming in the air. Used to scare children during stories. Really popular with the masses.
Up and down, up and down, always plummeting back down as it reaches the top. Creates an ominous sense of scheming in the air. Used to scare children during stories. Really popular with the masses.
7. Grant Shapps; Fučik’s Entry of the Gladiators.
Originally meant to be taken quite seriously, has just become synonymous with clowns and buffoonery. Always trotted out when a good laugh is wanted but never taken as a serious piece in the canon. Even children know to laugh.
Originally meant to be taken quite seriously, has just become synonymous with clowns and buffoonery. Always trotted out when a good laugh is wanted but never taken as a serious piece in the canon. Even children know to laugh.
Will continue adding on to this last later.
I’ll be sure to take a crack at some libdems.
Following tweets written with the help of @JackTindale
8. Jo Swinson; Tchaikovsky's Pathétique Symphony
Complex work defined by highs and lows, what starts off as a triumphant and vigorous finale reveals itself to be nothing more than a sad lie. In fact, we endure a lamentsbke, slow, final act that ends in mournful silence.
Complex work defined by highs and lows, what starts off as a triumphant and vigorous finale reveals itself to be nothing more than a sad lie. In fact, we endure a lamentsbke, slow, final act that ends in mournful silence.
9. David Cameron; Wagner’s Entry of the Gods to Valhalla
An apotheosis into the hallowed halls of warriors; celebratory leitmotif all around and a grandiose coda. What greater virtues? Yet it is all predicated on a lie. Defeat is unavoidable and bitterly accepted.
An apotheosis into the hallowed halls of warriors; celebratory leitmotif all around and a grandiose coda. What greater virtues? Yet it is all predicated on a lie. Defeat is unavoidable and bitterly accepted.
10. Dominic Raab; Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Ouverture
Vibrant energy, an ode to Europe’s great struggle for freedom against the hands of a French federalist, the last breath of a dying struggle. But the menacing tendrils of defeat make themselves felt. Victory still yet to be decided.
Vibrant energy, an ode to Europe’s great struggle for freedom against the hands of a French federalist, the last breath of a dying struggle. But the menacing tendrils of defeat make themselves felt. Victory still yet to be decided.
11. Chris Williamson; Verdi’s Beware of the Grand Inquisitor.
Always beware of an inquisition.
Always beware of an inquisition.
12. Rory Stewart; Smetana’s Moldau
A loud thundering symphony of unity between two great streams of power! ...before quietly flowing into the distance. Universally liked, reprised in so many other works; but never leads the show.
A loud thundering symphony of unity between two great streams of power! ...before quietly flowing into the distance. Universally liked, reprised in so many other works; but never leads the show.
13. Sajid Javid; Rachmaninov’s 2nd Piano Concerto.
Ayn Rand’s favourite. A sense of quiet self satisfaction drips from every note, ever ascending in the scale until it’s great crescendo of an end. Slow build up but rewarding.
Ayn Rand’s favourite. A sense of quiet self satisfaction drips from every note, ever ascending in the scale until it’s great crescendo of an end. Slow build up but rewarding.
14. Gordon Brown; Richter’s Gaspard de la Nuit
Who? Exactly.
Difficult to understand. If you claim to understand, you’re probably lying to look smart. Speaks of a vague mysterious figures in charge, but is itself complex and inscrutable.
Who? Exactly.
Difficult to understand. If you claim to understand, you’re probably lying to look smart. Speaks of a vague mysterious figures in charge, but is itself complex and inscrutable.
15. Tony Blair; Schoenberg’s Presto in C Major.
Only really appeals to the middle class; claims it is a masterpiece that redefined the landscape for ever. Oblivious that it only appeals to a small group of insiders.
Only really appeals to the middle class; claims it is a masterpiece that redefined the landscape for ever. Oblivious that it only appeals to a small group of insiders.
16. Margaret Thatcher; Beethoven’s Eroica
It’s daring. It’s bold. It broke the mould. A turning point in history that forever shaped the future and inspired a generation afterwards. Like it or hate it, you can’t ignore it. Truly one for the ages.
It’s daring. It’s bold. It broke the mould. A turning point in history that forever shaped the future and inspired a generation afterwards. Like it or hate it, you can’t ignore it. Truly one for the ages.
17. DOMINIC CUMMINGS; Mozart’s Fin Ch’han Dal Vino from Don Giovanni
The preparations for a grand party, Dom Giovanni gives orders to his subordinate to bring him lots of ladies and lots of wine, doing exactly as he pleases with no care in the world for the repercussions.
The preparations for a grand party, Dom Giovanni gives orders to his subordinate to bring him lots of ladies and lots of wine, doing exactly as he pleases with no care in the world for the repercussions.
18. Jacob Rees-Mogg; Purcell’s “Cold Song” from King Arthur
A terrifying spirit from a time long gone. The very embodiment of the Cold, lamenting it’s existences and longs to return to its eternal slumber. A chilling moan reminds us some things are best left alone.
A terrifying spirit from a time long gone. The very embodiment of the Cold, lamenting it’s existences and longs to return to its eternal slumber. A chilling moan reminds us some things are best left alone.
19. John Major; Elgar’s Falstaff
Peak tradition, very English minded. Grandiose in its own way, but like a true English gentleman, quite modest in character. Not hugely well received at the time, but like a decent claret, has matured and mellowed with age.
Peak tradition, very English minded. Grandiose in its own way, but like a true English gentleman, quite modest in character. Not hugely well received at the time, but like a decent claret, has matured and mellowed with age.
20. Theresa May; G&S Model of a Modern Major General
She is the very model of a British Prime Minister,
She’s been a bit of a media relations disaster,
Her dream was to return sovereignty to Westminster,
Her motives were completely pure, nothing at all sinister.
She is the very model of a British Prime Minister,
She’s been a bit of a media relations disaster,
Her dream was to return sovereignty to Westminster,
Her motives were completely pure, nothing at all sinister.
