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I’ve seen a lot of people assuring trans people that they’re “valid” specifically when trans people are upset about shit going on. I wanna say a couple of things about that:
The types of attacks on trans people from the government - such as disallowing them from being in the military, the #1 employer of trans people, and all the crap w/ bathrooms. They’re designed to erase. They don’t want us using public bathrooms because they just don’t
Want us in public at all. They don’t want us representing the US (military). They just want us to go away, and if that means other people k*ll us, so be it. I mean, there’re laws still in place that excuses people for k*lling us - “trans panic”.
People finding it appropriate on a broad scale to “correct” our preferred genders back to birth genders. I’ve had and overheard conversations about how trans people don’t belong/ should d*e bc they don’t even know I’m trans. For people like me, people who have the
Goal of “passing”, it often erases the trans part of my identity, but I also feel compelled to keep it secret for safety because of aforementioned conversations. I feel erased by society and at times, myself. Cause the alternative is too dangerous.
It’s a weird state of life to navigate. When I enter unknown spaces, the first questions I ask myself are in regards to how “out” its safe to be. How much of myself am I allowed to be safely?
It’s always on my mind.
It’s always on my mind.
When I worked at Starbucks, when I finally felt safe to come out to one particular barista, the whole store knew by the next day, which I expected. It was kind of a relief. I didn’t feel in danger. But every single person started getting my pronouns incorrect.
That’s how ingrained that alertness towards birth gender is. You never IDd me as female before, and yet. Somehow it is now “confusing” (which is a prime example of how “but I knew you as...” isn’t a good defense of not trying w/ pronouns). But, back to the point—
Telling me I’m “valid” makes me grind my teeth. Yes, I am valid. Trans people are valid and always have been. We are fighting against erasure and violence. Being told I’m valid seems like bare minimum support. It feels like permission to be myself, which I don’t need from
Anyone else. It feels like watching someone tiptoe into agreeing with an unpopular opinion.
I know anyone who says it means well. I know it’s meant to be supportive. But what’s more helpful is educating others. Defending trans people when they’re not around. Donating and
I know anyone who says it means well. I know it’s meant to be supportive. But what’s more helpful is educating others. Defending trans people when they’re not around. Donating and
Advocating. If you had a basic right legally taken from you would someone telling you your anger is valid feel right to you? I feel like that’s a given already.
and i want to be clear -- to the people who have said that to me, I totally understand the heart behind it and I am not angry with any one of you. your support DOES mean a lot.
I just wanna share my thoughts to help people understand how support like that makes me feel.
I just wanna share my thoughts to help people understand how support like that makes me feel.
Lastly, a reminder that we would not have what we do have today without Black trans voices. If you have any pertinent gofundmes, please reply with them! I will be adding to this thread with some i've found as well.
Starting with this one: https://www.gofundme.com/f/mshmemphis?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1&fbclid=IwAR366I2YOoA2oEAd5QdgKDMbtOEh-lK91tsoNSvBCSARIngdihWFWrJUeaQ
Starting with this one: https://www.gofundme.com/f/mshmemphis?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1&fbclid=IwAR366I2YOoA2oEAd5QdgKDMbtOEh-lK91tsoNSvBCSARIngdihWFWrJUeaQ
