Today is the day the music died. Today is the day this account rededicates itself to #FPL. Today is the day we unveil the only restart [THREAD] that matters.

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP EVERYTHING AND HAVE HARVEY BARNES IN YOUR TEAM.

🚄II
I mean… straight up… have you forgotten the last game of @premierleague football? Where Barnes tore villa to pieces with the force of a fucking freight train. 2 goals, 1 assist, 19 FPL points. The guy is basically the best player currently active in world football.
Let’s look at the last 6 matches. 15 attempts. 14 of which were in box. The guy gets in the box and BANG he fucking shoots. No fucks given. No equitably priced midfielder can even come close to that threat. Except Armstrong. Who has had 22 shots in his last 6 games? Really... 😬
He’s not just a shoot on sight junkie though, he also creates. 10 chances carved out over past 5 starts. He's put it on a plate at least 3 times in memory for Vardy to spoon over like an excitable Dad. He also sometimes passes it to Maddison. Remember owning him? No, me neither.
But what about Barnes the man? Can we trust him like his heroic namesake Ashley. The Harvertrain was born in, wait for it… FUCKING BURNLEY. What a legend. He could be Ashley’s son? No wait… scratch that. Distant cousin? Maybe he named himself AFTER Ashley?? Yes. Let’s say that.
Rodgers loves him. He brought him back from loan and told him the left attacker spot was his to lose. Despite having plentiful options in that position. Barnes has featured in all but 2 games all season. He has 14 attacking returns from 19 starts. He’s a rubbish impact sub.
But he gets dragged doesn’t he? Well er… not really. In his last 6 starts he has played 90 minutes in 5 of them and 82 in the other. He is now THE go too man for the Leicester City quick counter attacking style. His pace is electric and his route to goal laser targeted.
But what about those Leicester fixtures. They look tough? Do they… wat, BUR, eve, CRY, ars, bou next 6? Barnes could fucking score in all of those. The Foxes are still fighting to ensure they tie up Champs League qualification and have everything to play for over these games.
His price. He’s fucking 6.2. Only Grealish has more points in the game in that range, and he plays every minute except when he gets sent off or is arrested. What about the other players? Just a list of blood nobodies.
Mason Mount? Off you fuck, blew his load by Autumn. Traore? Pah… pull the other one. Zaha. No. No fucking way. Jesse Lingard? Schools are back open.

People still own Snodgrass for fucks sake.
Barnes is a nice guy. Okay he’s probably not Marcus Rashford nice, but who is. He comes from a proper football family and is the sort of guy who puts friendship first. He once saw a child who was upset at the beach as they had dropped their ice cream and bought her a new one.
He’s a BPS magnet as well. Since the turn of the year the only players with more ticks in this near meaningless column are KDB, Salah and Jordan “player of the year as your Nan likes him” Henderson. The system loves him. I love him. Ashley Barnes loves him. You should love him.
He has an xGI of 3.11. I don’t really know what that means. But it’s high. There is nobody higher in the game who is under 8m bar Antonio. Who let’s be fair, could probably change his name to Barnes anyway. His xGI is higher than Mane, Mahrez, Sterling, Bruno, Grealish, Pepe…
Let’s pause on Bruno. He’s the flavour of the month after all and costs a full 2.5m then Barnsey.

Barnes v Bruno last 6

BPS Baseline – 54 v 49
Pen Area Touches – 33 v 10
Big Chances – 3 v 1 (a dodgy pen)
Shot accuracy – 40% v 36%
Chances created – 10 v 11

Starting to believe?
I mean, who else is in your team right now instead of him? KDB fine. Grealish, I’ll allow it. But after that? Salah? Mane? Barnes is the same player for half the price. People have Granit Xhaka in their team. What are they smoking? Did they vote for both Brexit AND Kinder Bueno?
Harvey Barnes is pound for pound, the best sub 7m mid in the game who isn’t a criminal. Let’s not go through this again. If there is one thing Barnes Trains have shown us… it’s you get on early… and get the fuck off before it becomes too crowded.

Join me. Join us. Join 🚄II
ALL ABOARD #forashley #barnestrain
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