question
what kind of bear is best?

that's ridiculous

false, its black bear.

well, thats debatable.

there are basically two schools of thought

fact: bears eat beets

bears. beets.

"battlestar galactica"

bears do not- what is going on?

what are you doing?

last week i was in a drugstore and i saw these glasses.

uh, $4.

and it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble.

and thats a grand total of *beep boop beep boop* $11.

you know what? imitation is the most sincere form of flattery

so i thank you

IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM

MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR

MICHAEL!

OH THATS FUNNY! MICHAEL!

[cheerful music]

yes, i understand

can i transfer you to customer relations?

absolutely i couldnt be more sorry about this

i am upset, dont i sound upset?

well, we're going to be recalling all of that paper.

we have a crisis

apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill

decided it would be funny to put an obscene watermark

on our 24-pound cream letter stock

500 boxes have gone out

with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing... unspeakable acts upon a... certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like

ive never been a fan

everybody in here STAT

no time to lose

cryman, squaw, f and c, double time

cryman, squaw?

crisis management squad

f and c, double time?

front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go

any other questions?

one more

why are you talking like that

to save time jim

actually i think you could make the argument that it wastes time

yeah she has a good point

i dont have a headache, i am just preparing

no sweetcheeks we need someone whos actually made a sale

andy, you go.

yeah, im definitely gonna go alone

NO NO I NEED TWO MEN ON THIS

thats what she said... NO TIME

but she did... NO TIME!

GUYS GET ON THIS

dwight, i want you to be in charge of the press conference.

YES!

youre entering the no spin zone

were having a press conference?

no pam, the press is just gonna find out themselves

thats what happened to OJ

the press wants a story i will give them a story

oh did the press ask for a story?