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THE FALL OF THE KALANGA KINGDOM 
The BaKalanga or the Kalanga Kingdom was a powerful and peaceful nation
The capital was in present day Khami Ruins
The last King was Tjibundule also known as Madabhani or Madabhale
The BaKalanga or the Kalanga Kingdom was a powerful and peaceful nation
The capital was in present day Khami Ruins
The last King was Tjibundule also known as Madabhani or Madabhale
The Rozvi Empire and the Kalanga Kingdom co-existed in present day Zimbabwe
The Mambos and the Kalanga Kings lived in peace and harmony
The Rozvi capital was at Lutombo Lutema and the Kalanga capital was at Khami
All was perfectly perfect until Tjilisamhulu became the Mambo
The Mambos and the Kalanga Kings lived in peace and harmony
The Rozvi capital was at Lutombo Lutema and the Kalanga capital was at Khami
All was perfectly perfect until Tjilisamhulu became the Mambo
The Rozvi were called BaNyayi by the Kalanga people and they spoke a language that sounded like 'corrupted' Kalanga (Karanga? 
)
The Rozvi got greedy and pulled a ‘Delilah’ on the Kalanga people.
The Kalanga King had "powers" in the hair on top of his inkanda (fontanelle)
) The Rozvi got greedy and pulled a ‘Delilah’ on the Kalanga people.
The Kalanga King had "powers" in the hair on top of his inkanda (fontanelle)
FIRST ATTEMPT
The Rozvi King invited the Kalanga King to go hunting with him
The Kalanga King refused & offered his senior man, Chombe-Ntulunhulu & others instead because his medicine man advised him not to go
Tjilisamhulu’s plan was to kill Tjibundule during the hunting spree
The Rozvi King invited the Kalanga King to go hunting with him
The Kalanga King refused & offered his senior man, Chombe-Ntulunhulu & others instead because his medicine man advised him not to go
Tjilisamhulu’s plan was to kill Tjibundule during the hunting spree
SECOND ATTEMPT
The Rozvi tried to invade the Kalanga Kingdom but lost their bearings in a thick fog that covered the country for several days and caused untold suffering to the warriors, resulting in the death of a large number of them.
The Rozvi tried to invade the Kalanga Kingdom but lost their bearings in a thick fog that covered the country for several days and caused untold suffering to the warriors, resulting in the death of a large number of them.
Survivors were disoriented and walked directionless in the cold misty weather only to find themselves back at their starting point, the Rozvi Palace in Lutombo Tema, hungry, thirsty and sick
They attributed that experience to the Kalanga King's defensive war charms
They attributed that experience to the Kalanga King's defensive war charms
THIRD ATTEMPT
Third time lucky. It looks like the Rozvi believed that
The Rozvi medicine man 'saw' that the power of the Kalanga King was in his hair so they followed the Samson and Delilah script
The Rozvi King offered his daughter BAGEDZE to the Kalanga King as a wife
Third time lucky. It looks like the Rozvi believed that
The Rozvi medicine man 'saw' that the power of the Kalanga King was in his hair so they followed the Samson and Delilah script
The Rozvi King offered his daughter BAGEDZE to the Kalanga King as a wife
The Rozvi King briefed his daughter about the objective of her marriage
She wasn't supposed to catch feelings. She had to get the hair on the King's head and come back home
So the Rozvi princess Bagedze married the Kalanga King and gave meaning to "Sleeping with the enemy"
She wasn't supposed to catch feelings. She had to get the hair on the King's head and come back home
So the Rozvi princess Bagedze married the Kalanga King and gave meaning to "Sleeping with the enemy"
As time went by, she started trying to touch her husband’s head, which was always chiskop except for the fontanelle where a tuft of hair grew 
The Kalanga King strongly warned her never to touch his head or else the BaKalanga state would fall apart
Samson and Delilah?
The Kalanga King strongly warned her never to touch his head or else the BaKalanga state would fall apart
Samson and Delilah?
So the princess started complaining saying that the king didn't love her, for if he did, he would let her from touching any part of his body.
(Can I please call her Delilah?
)
Also, couldn't she touch when they were making love?
The King didn't budge though!
(Can I please call her Delilah?
)Also, couldn't she touch when they were making love?
The King didn't budge though!
Years passed and the Kalanga King was getting old. One day he dozed off under the shade of a tree
The princess clipped off the tip of his hair and hid it
[So she slept with an enemy for years waiting for a chance to get a bit of hair?
I give her 0/100 for creativity]
The princess clipped off the tip of his hair and hid it
[So she slept with an enemy for years waiting for a chance to get a bit of hair?
I give her 0/100 for creativity]
A few days after the secret hair cut, she faked being sick and asked to be allowed to go to her maiden home for special treatment
The king suggested that she be treated by his own medicine men.
But you know women sometimes, worse princesses
So the King said "Fine wifey, go"
The king suggested that she be treated by his own medicine men.
But you know women sometimes, worse princesses
So the King said "Fine wifey, go"
She got there and gave her father her husband's hair
He passed it on to his chief witch doctor, Ngomane Gumbo, who did to it what he knew best to make King Tjibundule’s war charms impotent
[The Rozvi bewitched the Kalanga King! That's so wrong!
]
He passed it on to his chief witch doctor, Ngomane Gumbo, who did to it what he knew best to make King Tjibundule’s war charms impotent
[The Rozvi bewitched the Kalanga King! That's so wrong!
]
The plan was: The Rozvi would attack the Kalangas
On that day, the army would blow a horn when it reached The Kalanga King's palace
On hearing it, the Princess had to run out of the palace waving a white cloth which he gave her
She would then be led into safety by her people
On that day, the army would blow a horn when it reached The Kalanga King's palace
On hearing it, the Princess had to run out of the palace waving a white cloth which he gave her
She would then be led into safety by her people
A month later, princess Delilah, I mean, BAGEDZE, went back to her marital home
~4 months later, the Rozvi attacked the BaKalanga
Some Kalanga herdsmen saw them approaching and ran to warn the King
~4 months later, the Rozvi attacked the BaKalanga
Some Kalanga herdsmen saw them approaching and ran to warn the King
The Kalanga King turned to his fontanelle hair for help which by then should normally have been standing more erect than a… (Clean your mind!)
The hair should have been more erect than the quills of an enraged Maphosa (porcupine)
But it was lying flat and flaccid
(Clean your mind!)The hair should have been more erect than the quills of an enraged Maphosa (porcupine)
But it was lying flat and flaccid
The Rozvi blew the first horn as a signal to their princess
Then blew several enchanted horns with a tuneless sound that sent a fearful and painful sensation on every NKalanga who heard it
The Kalanga women began to wail, little children screamed and dogs barked uncontrollably
Then blew several enchanted horns with a tuneless sound that sent a fearful and painful sensation on every NKalanga who heard it
The Kalanga women began to wail, little children screamed and dogs barked uncontrollably
Meanwhile, Princess Bagedze the Traitor or Hero, depending on which side of the war you were at, bolted down the rocky fortress like a monkey, waving the white cloth
The BaKalanga defenders took their weapons and confronted the Rozvi attackers
And so the battle began
The BaKalanga defenders took their weapons and confronted the Rozvi attackers
And so the battle began
Tjibundule, the last king of the Kalanga Kingdom and some of his wives, children, cattle and guards took off to the hills
They followed the Khami River northwards
They followed the Khami River northwards
After an initially spirited defence, the BaKalanga who had not only been taken by surprise, but were hopelessly outnumbered were defeated 
So they decided to chase down the Kalanga King
To take over a Kingdom, you have to kill the King, right?
So they decided to chase down the Kalanga King
To take over a Kingdom, you have to kill the King, right?
The BaKalanga King stopped at the confluence of uMguza and Gwayi Rivers
There, the Kalanga King and his people and livestock went underground to the land of the dead, never to be seen again LITERALLY
He reached down to the ancestors for help and they invited him underground?
There, the Kalanga King and his people and livestock went underground to the land of the dead, never to be seen again LITERALLY
He reached down to the ancestors for help and they invited him underground?
The Rozvi warriors got there, saw the footprints and hooves but couldn't see anyone
Then they heard cocks crowing, bulls bellowing, cows mooing, women ululating right under their feet, as it were
The warriors left that place in complete fright and ran away
Then they heard cocks crowing, bulls bellowing, cows mooing, women ululating right under their feet, as it were
The warriors left that place in complete fright and ran away
And thus the Rozvi King, Mambo Tjilisamhulu, became the king of the entire Kalanga territory stretching from Mapungubgwe across the Limpopo, to Mntoutsi River, to the Makgarikgari Salt Pans, to the Shongwe Inotitima (Vic Falls) to the Gwelo River and as far as the Great Zimbabwe
Oral tradition has it that the sounds underground at the spot where the Kalanga King Tjibundule’s spoor ended could be heard in the early hours of every morning right up to the time when King Lobengula of the Ndebeles ruled
Some say they can be heard to this day
Some say they can be heard to this day
The new King (Rozvi Mambo) disrespected Njelele and did to Mwali what Mzilikazi did to Tshaka…(Stealing cows after a war)
That's a thread on its own
Actually, a thread on the origins of the great BaKalanga People would do
That's a thread on its own
Actually, a thread on the origins of the great BaKalanga People would do
