This is gonna be a rant sorry if parts don’t make sense. I don’t mind clarifying and I would like to hear your thoughts.

With the current circumstances I want to talk about accountability. What does it look like to hold yourself and others accountable? How many times do you have to hold someone accountable for the same unchanging behavior before you walk away from the situation?

Accountability is basically being able to reconcile or in some way compensate for the damage you have done to others. I don’t think an apology is enough. You can apologize as many times as you want and come off as sincere which is a necessary step.

However, what does apologizing do to repay that metaphorical debt (IMO nothing at all)? Being accountable for your actions requires you to work to essentially help your victim(s) n those in similar shoes. In some cases it could be monetary support,

or learning about why what you did was wrong n going out of your way to prevent that behavior from repeating itself.

This is all meaningless, if you have no self awareness or empathy. There’s nothing you can do to force someone to change. Unfortunately, it takes a spotlight on someone’s behavior for them to consider change usually they become bitter n more stuck in their ways.

Before this behavior is even brought publicly, there are, more likely than not, people who will pull others aside and bring up these issues. Of course some instances are more serious than others and those people should be given less leeway than others.

As a friend it is your job to hold those around you accountable but you can’t force your friends to better. If they are consistently ignoring how you are made uncomfortable by their behavior enough for you to notice the patter of disregard, that is a red flag.

That friendship is not fruitful and should be had in a lesser capacity if at all. Hopefully the loss of your friendship will help them see their error and try to hold themselves accountable. Handle these rekindled relationships with discretion.

IMO you are in part responsible for the REPEATED actions of your friends. Any future harm (following a defines pattern) that your “friends” commit could have been prevented. If you’re cool with that, fine. If your not, you should probably not befriend those types of people.

Too many people think getting called out in a group chat or on twitter is being held accountable n it’s not. Accountability is what YOU do and not what others do to you. It’s up to you to act accordingly when others ask/demand you to be accountable.