Read on Twitter
At 22 years old, I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t like working hard. I got into a Top 3 University on a full scholarship, studying on a hugely competitive degree. I’ve completed multiple Investment Banking internships. I’ve experienced it myself. Working hard is overglorified.
My parents raised me to aim for the best and smash society’s expectations. I’ve been doing that since I was 16. But I had an awakening over a year ago and it changed me completely. I realised that although I like achieving things, I don’t like working hard. It was quite confusing
I grew up in a regular family – not “rich” but not poor. I never lacked anything but we didn’t have private jets or anything like that. My parents taught me that education is the key to success but I’ve realised now that this isn’t necessarily true. Education is not *the key*.
My education has propelled me to enter elite spaces. I am categorically part of the top 1% in the UK. I am about 2 connections away from most CEOs in the city. I firmly believe that my top-tier degree is less about education and more about gaining access into successful circles.
I’m in my final year of university. I only realised halfway through my degree that I’d been working hard for so long but yielding different results to my more fortunate peers. I appreciate my well-intentioned parents for telling me to work hard but they sold me half of the story.
I taught myself how to network strategically and I have, as a result, garnered mentors across multiple industries. One of my mentors is a retired judge. Another one is a managing director in an investment bank. My network now spans from politics through to management consulting.
The past six years have been exhausting for me. But it’s the type of exhaustion that lurks in the background. I experienced a very painful burnout in my first year of university and I’m STILL recovering from the effects of what I went through. I learnt that strategy > hard work.
Let me tell you how my peers have been more strategic than I have:
1. Cheating. Some internships I successfully applied for had a testing stage. My peers sat the tests in groups – with the help of others.
I sat the tests by myself and passed but we all ended up in the same place.
1. Cheating. Some internships I successfully applied for had a testing stage. My peers sat the tests in groups – with the help of others.
I sat the tests by myself and passed but we all ended up in the same place.
I’ve got no cookies for being able to say that I put two weeks of practice into passing the tests. We landed the same internships, got paid the same and benefited from the same opportunities.
2. Tutoring. I didn’t know this was a thing because I thought everyone actually did independent studying through the course of their degree.
My peers have sought out extra tutoring and tailored essay support. They even sometimes pay for essays to be written for them.
My peers have sought out extra tutoring and tailored essay support. They even sometimes pay for essays to be written for them.
3. Private member clubs. These are quite lowkey and usually invite only. I’ve recently been invited to join one but there are many more out there. I can’t necessarily blame myself though. These clubs have more to do with generational access than individual hardwork.
4. Working smart.
I started this last year and it lifted so many burdens. My peers work smart by buying university notes from graduates and companies which specialise in academia. They float through their degree by putting the bare minimum work and simply rogue-learning.
I started this last year and it lifted so many burdens. My peers work smart by buying university notes from graduates and companies which specialise in academia. They float through their degree by putting the bare minimum work and simply rogue-learning.
5. Blending in
I went through my panAfrican stage about 3-4 years ago and broke out of it just over a year ago. I’m glad it happened in my early 20s cause I truly believe being “pro-black” limited my ability to effectively navigate predominantly white spaces and come out on top.
I went through my panAfrican stage about 3-4 years ago and broke out of it just over a year ago. I’m glad it happened in my early 20s cause I truly believe being “pro-black” limited my ability to effectively navigate predominantly white spaces and come out on top.
I am a Black Woman. I stick out like a sore thumb as I’m usually the only black person in the room. Other minorities blend in cause they are closer to whiteness. This is why Asians are regarded as the model minority. But I now know that I can use my femininity to my advantage.
There are other ways my peers have been strategic. What I’ve learnt is that being strategic and working smart way more important than working hard.
While working in investment banking, it dawned on me that it was a very masculine industry but I wanted to prove that I’m capable. Part of this sentiment was influenced by the superwoman trope that is forced on black women. Though I liked the job, I hated the hours I had to work.
I used to go into work wearing pretty dresses and sexy heels. I was all dolled up. I knew I looked out of place but I was deeply trying to reconcile the two oxymorons. I did several 15 hour shifts in investment banking and I would sleep in my taxi on the way home like a baby.
This job consumed me. My life consisted of me either working or recovering from work. If you’ve heard of M&A, then you will know exactly what I’m talking about.
I spoke to women who looked like they had it all. Most of these senior women had children in their late 30s/early 40s.
I spoke to women who looked like they had it all. Most of these senior women had children in their late 30s/early 40s.
I wanted them to tell me that it’s possible to have a child in your mid/late 20s and still rise in your career as a woman.
Instead, many of them told me that they have househusbands. One senior woman at Rothschild & Co was honest enough to tell me that women can’t have it “all”.
Instead, many of them told me that they have househusbands. One senior woman at Rothschild & Co was honest enough to tell me that women can’t have it “all”.
Some women would find the job fulfilling but they are a tiny minority. It is not in my natural wiring to want to labor that hard. I’m proud to admit it.
Lots of men don’t even like working hard either. They want to build, not slave off. They aspire to own the means of production.
Lots of men don’t even like working hard either. They want to build, not slave off. They aspire to own the means of production.
As a woman, I thrive when I am nourished and supported. My body is working round-the-clock to provide an environment that enables life to grow in my body. I am already tired from pre-menstrual, mid-menstrual and post-menstrual activities happening in my body. It’s ok to admit it.
My hormones are doing things that make me tired already.
I’m creative and ambitious but this doesn’t mean I should work hard. I want to do things I enjoy and profit off of it. I want to have multiple streams of income which I can reinvest and gain from. This is my strategy.
I’m creative and ambitious but this doesn’t mean I should work hard. I want to do things I enjoy and profit off of it. I want to have multiple streams of income which I can reinvest and gain from. This is my strategy.
Rich people don’t work hard. They work strategically. There’s a saying: the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. It’s true.
As the stock market has crashed in the past few weeks, I promise you – there are tons of rich people who have doubled their wealth by “buying the dip”.
As the stock market has crashed in the past few weeks, I promise you – there are tons of rich people who have doubled their wealth by “buying the dip”.
I needed to experience working hard to know that it’s not something that I can see myself doing for a long time. It’s possible for women to excel in these industries but we must be cognisant of the fact that we’re likely to burn out eventually. It’s good to have an exit strategy.
I implore everyone to test the waters and try new things, especially while you have youth on your side... and if you’re working class or just have a curious mind.
Women should not shut doors on themselves before they know what’s behind it. I’m glad that at least I tried.
Women should not shut doors on themselves before they know what’s behind it. I’m glad that at least I tried.
Most people will be criticised for saying that “women cannot have it all” but there’s a lot of truth to this. Something will have to give.
Personally, I believe women can have it all.. just not at the same time. We cannot have it “all” simultaneously. I believe in seasons.
Personally, I believe women can have it all.. just not at the same time. We cannot have it “all” simultaneously. I believe in seasons.
So I will never tell any young person to skip school or that their degree is a waste. There are seasons: to go to school, to work “hard”, to secure the bag, to build a solid foundation. And there’s a time to chase our personal ambitions - which often includes kids for many of us.
I’m still in my “build a solid foundation” stage. But I have a very balanced mindset and Ino longer wish to push myself beyond what comes naturally.
I encourage hypergamy for women so long as we ensure that we have secure foundations to lean on in case we need it.
I encourage hypergamy for women so long as we ensure that we have secure foundations to lean on in case we need it.
But one thing I will never do is try to impress others by gloating about how hard I’ve worked. My peers who haven’t worked as hard as me are enjoying the same opportunities. Even the male Investment Bankers I’ve been around often date women who dont work nearly as hard as they do
The truth is: nobody cares. People celebrate where you are and don’t really care about the journey. If there is an alternative and less stressful way to achieve my goals, best believe I’m taking that route. Hardwork is only glorified by i) those whose lives is full of struggle OR
ii) powerful people who need you to think that hard work is the key. They need you to work hard so that they can profit off of your labour.
And if you are gullible enough, you will think it’s something to brag about.
And if you are gullible enough, you will think it’s something to brag about.
Altogether, I’m glad that I’m in tune with myself and I listen to what my body tells me. I have been on both sides of the coin and I know which is more fulfilling. I’m not a bum. I have achieved incredible things I wish I could share, but my privacy would be compromised if I did.
At 22, I am now exploring how I can best balance my entrepreneurial traits with my other desires. I will continue to be as strategic as I can to maximise my luck. Ultimately, I’m confident that with self-awareness, a widened network and long-game mindset, I will come out on top.
