I’m only on book two and I’m high af but Draco Malfoy is a bully but he not a mugglist cuz that’s reverse magism. Hermione is a member of the dominant population she’s just in a setting (Hogwarts) that makes her technically a minority like Sam Whiteout being a rhythm less Kappa

BUT Malfoy IS elitist as fuck. He comes from a privileged background and sneers at Ron for being poor he’s like the jack & jill blacks or Amanda Seales

Nothing against Hermione tho cuz without her none of the events of these books would have been possible

Ok, Malfoy is not a mugglist (because there’s no such thing) but he is pretty sadistic and extreme. What is the wizardry equivalent to a hotep? That’s what he is.

Chamber of Secrets picked up a lot at the end, I enjoyed the Tom Riddle reveal and the Ginny drama. I understand why Ginny crushes on Harry.

Now that I’ve finished Chamber of Secrets I can confidently say Dumbledore should be fired. Promote Mrs. McGonagall and banish this man. So Fawkes just FOUND Harry in the chamber all on his own because of “loyalty” huh? Dumbledore stop playing in my face

Anyway, here are my official reviews of the first two books. I will be starting book 3 today and finding more evidence for my theory that Dumbledore is behind everything

I cannot believe Dumbledore gave Hagrid a job as a teacher. Yet another poor choice on his part. And Mrs. McGonagall all but called Professor Trelawney a charlatan but Dumbledore still employs her too. This level of ineptitude has got to be illegal.

Hermione has finally grown on me. She can be a bit annoying but she genuinely means well and she is a great friend, even when that means doing something she knows Ron and Harry will be angry about. She just wants Harry to be safe. The maternal vibe is a little much tho.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is the best so far, I loved it. I adore Harry, he feels very real. Malfoy is a very good antagonist to me even tho he’s clearly just a character foil for Harry and to some extent Ron, which can get old but so far so good

Prisoner of Azkaban also evoked the most emotion from. It was darker than the first two and had a deep sadness to it. Harry hearing his parents last moments when the dementors came around was hard. Knowing the dementors affected him the worst because his past had such horrors

And learning that he had at least one adult who cared for him deeply (Sirius) and having the opportunity to be wrapped in that love slipping through his fingers I just want Harry to be happy

Ok Ron suppot owning house elves he a racist

You know what, it’s fuck Cedric Diggory daddy

Bitch it’s slaves at Hogwarts SMH

Draco Malfoy need his ass BEAT. I want somebody to catch him in the muggle world g run up on that nigga with no wand just hands and feet

Ok girl, the elves = slaves is getting heavy handed, Hermione is giving me benevolent white abolitionist who is their only hope and Harry/Dobby is giving me white savior

Between this aggressive slave elves side plot and the word “sniggering” I’m about to beat J.K. ass

Ok so Winky is a house n*gger what is going on

Nobody:

Winky and Mr. Crouch:

Hermione is so paternalistic and Ron need to be beat up for scoffing at the possibility for freedom for elves everybody a elfist omg

Percy Weasley has not been stuffed in enough lockers and it shows

Barty Crouch is the Bill Clinton of the wizarding world with his tough on crime ass

The Daily Prophet ain’t shit but TMZ, it’s so MESSY and Rita Skeeter is going straight to hell. Cornelius Fudge authorizing pieces that call Harry a liar and attention grabber and pretending Voldmert isn’t back is like 45 ignoring scientists about covid-19 and reopening outside

What does Harry gain by Fumbledore consistently withholding information about you-know-who? Is he some type of sadist? Everybody knows everything except Harry. How is he too young to know everything but not too young to get stalked by a serial killing wizard

Everybody keeps talking about how great and clever and powerful Fumbledore is but I haven’t seen this man do shit yet except give orders after the fact. What are we paying him for??

Pure bloods are the white people of magical people

It’s definitely fuck Cornelius Fudge. Fumblebore defending Harry in front of the Wizengamot is the first time I’ve been impressed with him buy it also feels manipulative asf b/c he shut Harry out up yo that point then showed up at the last minute. It’s a pattern tbh

I don’t know why Fumbledore’s aim is but I don’t like it

Somebody need to throw Professor Umbridge in JAIL! She is literally torturing Harry during detention where the FUCK is Fumbledore they got Ms. Trunchbull working at Hogwarts

Professor Trelawney lied on her resume and said she was proficient in excel

I stan Harry and Cho https://twitter.com/xoxoxminnie/status/1253810800109608961?s=21 https://twitter.com/xoMinnieJo/status/1253810800109608961

Mrs. McGonagall is in love with Dumbledore. Wait, just hear me out

Mrs. McGonagall revered Dumbledore more than Harry did and for what? Up until this point he has not done anything remarkable. If nothing else, he’s running that school into the ground. Love be bringing her ass home at night.

I’m at the part in Order of the Phoenix well Fumbledore took the blame for Harry’s DA group and got out the jam before Fudge could arrest him. This is the first I felt like Harry got into trouble shad Fumbly *immediately* did the right thing (to me)

Before now, niggres would be literally dying and it would be like

Harry: *is out here getting fucked up*

Fumbledore:

Fumbledore:

Fumbledore at the last possible minute before everybody dies:

It’s like he shows up at the very last minute on purpose so he can take all the glory. I’m still working out my theory that Fumbly manipulates Harry to make him dependent on him

I don’t doubt he was hot shit back in the day because everybody says so and nickgurs is scared of him but he has not been doing right by Harry and I’m tired. All of the adults in Harry’s life are just awful except the Weasley

I like Sirius but he is reckless with Harry’s life in the way that Fumbledore is but in the opposite way. Fumbly endangers Harry by doing nothing and Sirius does it by encouraging him to do EVERYTHING. Where is the BALANCE

Yes, James Potter was a dickhead but if EYE fell into Snape’s memory and saw my daddy bullying him I would tell the whole school. Snape is horrible to Harry that I’m positive the universe had him bullied on purpose cuz it knew he would deserve it

Sirius Black did not have to die g omg. I want Fumbledore JUMPED. Harry and his friends were only at the Department of Mysteries because NOBODY told him what his visions were and why occlumency was so important or even that there was a prophecy

WHAT DID ANYBODY GAIN BY FUMBLEDORE ONCE AGAIN MAKING DECISIONS ALL BY HIMSELF WITH NO EXPLANATION

This man Fumbledore is telling Harry he fucked up by keeping him in the dark, NO SHIT

Finally finished Order of the Phoenix and I think this might be the most fucked uppest Fumbledore has ever had me

I had to sit with this book for a while and just really process how fucked up everybody had me but I wrote the review for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry’s OWLs are not terrible but I’m screaming at him and Ron failing Divination. Fumbledore knew Professor Trelawney was a faking ass faker and was letting her fail people. How does this man still have a job.

Harry jumping out his body in The Half-Blood Prince and I’ve decided to stan. I love that he’s the the captain of the quidditch team I just want Harry to win and be happy

So Fumbledore is walking around with a zombie hand and every time Harry asks what happened he tells him another. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING YOU OLD BAT

Wheeeeew I said Hermione grew on me in book 3 but she is working overtime to make me change my mind. I love how intelligent, level-headed, and mature age is but she has got to be the fussiest person in any book I’ve ever read. I see why Ron is so badly annoyed by her

Besides the fact that he secretly has a huge crush on her of cites

Ron is such a jackass for kissing up on Lavender Brown I can believe the nerve of but I can’t believe the nerve of these boys. As annoying as Hermione can be she did not deserve that

Hermione is at her absolute worst when there is anything somebody is better at then her

Omg I hate Fumbledore so much. He asked Harry to get the real memory from Professor Slughorn from the day Tom Riddle asked about horcruxes but Harry cracked his skull falling off his broom and Ron was accidentally poisoned so he didn’t get a chance to

And this....JACKASS has the audacity to chastise Harry. Really?? REALLY? Mr. show up whenever the fuck I want to? Mr. nowhere to be found when the shit is hitting the fan? Annoyed because somebody didn’t do some shit on YOUR time??!

Harry is 16 and still has regular teenage shit to deal with on top of everything else and Fumbledore of all fucking people is not sympathetic enough to that for me

Fumbledore FINALLY did something right and now The Half-Blood Prince is turning the fuck up. Voldemort is a top 5 villain right now like damn I low key fuck with Tom Riddle but he made Harry an orphan so fuck him

Oh and let me say my favorite character by far besides Harry is Ginny. Ginny is smart, independent, confident. I just adore her and I HATE what the movies did to her character. I’m happy I saw the movie first cuz this is a pleasant surprise

Oh and book Ginny Weasley is a bad bitch, movie Jenny Wheezely is not

Me, when Harry kissed Ginny

Oh girl it sounds like Fumbledore done broke up with Professor Trelawney, I know Mrs. McGonagall happy she got her man back. Rita Skeeter printing Who Gets to Dumble that Dore: How One Man’s Two-Timing Tore Hogwarts Apart tomorrow

Draco Malfoy wanna be the next Tom Riddle so bad and here go Fumbledore yet again getting on my nerves telling Draco he let death eaters into the school “right under his nose” whole time Harry BEEN knew that boy was up to something in the room of requirement

How is it that Snape was watching over Malfoy on Fumbledore’s orders and they couldn’t figure out what he was doing? How did shit even get far enough for Draco and Fumbledore to be having a face off right now? Are they stupid on purpose??

Ugh distrustful ass Snape and inept ass Fumbledore have me over here feeling sorry for Draco Malfoy

You know what nvm Malfoy a racist

My heart actually dropped when Snape killed Fumbledore. Not because I liked him or didn’t see it coming but because Harry saw it happen. Yet again, somebody who makes Harry feel loved and protected has been killed right in front of him. This poor child.

It’s actually really sad. As inept as Dumbledore was, he was a constant presence for those kids and the staff. My heart really goes out to Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey

Snape just hit Harry in the face with a curse I’m about to call the police I hate this man lmaooo idc how much of a double agent he is or how much he has on his plate this man is AWFUL

And in true Dumbledore fashion, right when Harry and the kids need him most he done went and got himself killed so he can effectively be as useless as possible

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince review. This one is officially my favorite and I know book 7 is about to turn the fuck up cuz it all comes down to this moment I can’t believe I waited this long to read these books

I need a copy of Dumbledore’s biography, NOW somebody get Rita Skeeter on the phone

BITCH DID THEY KILL HEDWIG??? Somebody get my belt

Hedwig is the worst death so far besides Sirius. I can’t believe this. Hedwig is the only thibg that kept Harry going at 4 Privet Dr. How am I supposed to finish the book after this? WHY IS HARRY’S LIFE SO TERRIBLE

Imagine finding out your have magical powers and before you can turn your first cup of water into wine all hell break loose because a serial killing wizard said it’s on sight when he see you

Bitch if they killed George I swear I will RIOT

Bitch Mad Eye Moody dead, everybody else might as well throw in the towel smh

Fleur Delacour is the true definition of a ride or die

Ron is such a cockblock, Harry and Ginny was about to GROW UP but here he go busting up in the room

I just want Harry to live at 12 Grimmauld Place with his friends and be happy and love on Ginny why does it have to be this way

Ron love him some Hermione and Hermione love her some Ron and I saw it coming but I really wish she wouldn’t do his laundry and pack his clothes

Ron is going to be one of those men who expect all the women in his life to mother him because he figures since Mrs. Weasley, his literal mother did it, and that’s the position every woman should hold in a man’s life and Hermione fell so neatly into that box

She won’t ever hesitate to tell Ron about himself and I appreciate that but I really wish she would take a more Ginny approach to the r’ship. Idk how I feel about it. I like it but I don’t. Ron needs to grow up and I don’t want Hermione to lose herself

But I strongly suspect (or rather hope) that Ron’s transition is coming soon. Harry made that transition from boyhood to manhood the second he stepped outside 4 Privet Dr for the last time (and I love that he left with Hagrid just as he did the first time)

*Sigh* ok I approve of the relationship. They are deeply connected to each other in more ways than just romantically and I think that’s special. I just need Ron to grow up.

Bathilda Bagshot is Harry’s WHAT?? Girl it’s always some drama ok and Harry is finding old things of Sirius’ in his house that are giving him insight into his parents’ lives with him pls turn off the light I am busy crying

Fumbledore withheld so much information from Harry that could have been beneficial to him in what he’s doing now. His parents knew Bathilda? He and Fumbledore were from the same place? Even from the GRAVE his ineptitude is wreaking havoc on Harry’s and my nerves

And Fumbledore must think this shit is a game, what the fuck is up with all the riddles?? Ok, we don’t want information intercepted but he’s a great wizard so why he couldn’t figure something out? Ugh he get on my nerves

The knowledge that James and Lily used to watch Harry fly on the toy broom Sirius bought him is eating me the fuck up y’all where is Harry I need to hug him and make him some food

I— is Voldemort Hitler?

Dean Thomas is damn near the only black kid at Hogwarts and when you finally hear something about his parents it’s that his daddy left them when he was little lmaooo even in the wizarding world n*ggas be nigging

Why y’all didn’t tell me the Goblet of Fire review was missing from the thread?

How many times y’all think boys called her Bellatrix do sumn LeStrange for a piece of change at Hogwarts

Harry is visiting his parents’ grave for the first time and the GRIEF

I’m sorry, a what came out of Bathilda’s what??? I want Voldemort arrested and thrown into Arkham Asylum this man is outrageous and Azkaban not working on nobody

J.K. is tiptoeing on some type of reformed racist line with this Fumbledore biography by Rita Skeeter

What a piece of shit Xenophilius Lovegood turned out to be yikes

I didn’t think it was possible for it to get worse but this is getting pretty dark

NOW DOBBY??? Whhhyyy does Harry’s life have to be this way

Ok, Ron and Hermione dating has really grown on me. He is maturing a lot over the course the novel

Professor Minerva McGonagall is bout that action and if she had a theme song it would be I Been On by Beyoncé

“I shall expect you and the Slytherins in the great hall also. If you wish to leave with your students we shall not stop you but if any of you attempt to sabotage our resistance or take up arms against us within this castle, then, Horace, we duel to kill”

They’re barricading the school against you-know-who bitch my anxiety is through the roof

I’m so scared for the Weasley family

Omg I’m so proud of Ron, growing up and becoming the type of young man Hermione deserves

Not Fred g. Are you serious. Fred. I— I have no words. At this point I’m scared to finish

I’m not sorry Snape is d*ad, full stop. But it still feels very weird because he’s been such a constant presence

Lupin and Tonks does together and their little baby is being left behind it’s like the Potter family all over again, my beloved Weasley family, Hedwig and Dobby pls somebody get J.K. on the phone why did she write these things

Oh gworl Snape was a piece of shit. Harry is in his memories and the first time he met James and Sirius he was the first one to make a nasty ass remark and they retorted and he couldn’t take

And the next memory they mention him follow James, Lupin, Sirius, and that piece of shit worm tail to the shrieking shack trying to catch them doing something fuck him that’s why he was bullied I’m vindicated like I said

If you can’t stand the heat, move to Alaska.

Snape didn’t hate Harry because James bullied him, Snape hated Harry because he wasn’t his daddy. You can’t fool me, Beetlejuice

AND HE CALLED LILY A MUDBLOOD??? Girl fuck Snape, his black curtain outfit, his jet black wrap, fuck him! And then got the audacity to mistreat Harry where is the resurrection stone it’s hands and feet. I can’t believe people empathize with this man

I know this protecting Harry so he can die for the cause mess better be some type riddle otherwise Fumbledore will have to rise up and see me personally

What level of suffocating desperation is Bellatrix LeStrange? If she was on twitter she would be stan account with a Tom Riddle avi. The original Voldemort stan

Fumbledore was such a piece of shit lmao a mugglist and a greedy deathly hallows seeker. What a fucking jackass

Neville Longbottom is just...I love him

Kreacher rallies the house elves in the Hogwarts kitchen to fight pls I can’t take this emotional roller coaster I am delirious

I finally finished. I am undone. So many things happened, I—

Kreacher and Ron had such great redemption arcs. Neville grew the fuck up on us . Ginny was such a bad bitch ugh, I love the Weasley family so much I miss Fred . Albus Dumbledore is a JACKASS and Snape is irredeemable idcidcidc. Give Madame Pomfrey and Mrs. McGonagall raises

Hermione really grew on my towards the end, she’s such a genius. I actually love her and Ron together and I stan Harry/Ginny. My girl Luna?? Yaaaassss! By the end I didn’t hate Draco anymore, I felt very sorry for him. Hagrid is such a good person

RIP Cedric Diggory, he didn’t deserve that. RIP Dobby, a free elf. RIP Mad Eye Moody, he probably could have ended that shit himself. RIP Hedwig that should not have happened! RIP Sirius who I’m sure expected to die. RIP Lupin and Tonks, at least they were together

I’m so happy Percy made his way back to his family. Mrs. Weasley is the mother Harry never had . Aberforth showed up for like 5 minutes and was still better than his brother.

Oh and it’s still fuck Professor Umbridge, Amos Diggory, and that thieving ass goblin

I said like 70 tweets ago that I was working on a theory that Fumbledore was behind everything and after finishing all 7 novels I have concluded....

Arrest that knigga

And if any non-black people retweet that, I will have you arrested as well.

Now grab the resurrection stone and let’s head on over to his tomb, he’s buried at Hogwarts girls

Aberforth said it and Fumbledore admitted it himself to Harry that the lure of power is his weakness. He zombiefied hand because finding the resurrection stone fried his brain. Anyway, he heard that prophecy and immediately went to Snape to hatch a plan to protect Harry

What he told Snape was that they were protecting Harry out of love for Lily but we know and Snape later learns that Fumbly wanted to protect Harry specifically so that he could kill Voldemirt. Why, you ask?

So HE can usurp that power. He seem like the type to call himself the Light Lord. When he realized that poison from Marvolo Gaunt would eventually kill him, he realized he wouldn’t win and just took that L and told Snape to kill him

Snape told Fumbledore he was raising Harry up like a pig for slaughter and Fumbledore told his ass I sure am. When Harry spoke with him in the heaven Kong’s Cross he even said he had not expected Harry to survive the final dual

Harry made all types of excuses but that’s because Fumbly has been manipulating him from the very beginning. I am not fooled!

And, finally, my last review for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Absolutely loved it. I’m sad about finishing because I got used to them