1 Like = 1 genuine German insult

They’ll all sound funny, some might only be known regionally, and I might not know the underlying meaning for all of them.
Please use irresponsibly.

#LetsDoThis #GermanInsults

1) First the one you probably already know: if you’ve heard that Backpfeifengesicht (~ BUCK-phyfen-guh-SEEKHT) means “a face in dire need of a slap,” that’s exactly right. #GermanInsults

2) Honk. Probably just an insult because it sounds funny, and because there’s a weird rumor that it’s an official abbreviation for “Hauptschüler ohne nennenswerte Kenntnisse” (= lowest school degree and no noteworthy skills). But that’s likely apocryphal. #GermanInsults

3) Pfeife (~PHY-fuh). It means “whistle” and denotes someone who’s not competent enough. If you know the history why, drop an explanation here! #GermanInsults

4) One of my faves: Arschgeige (~AWRSH-GUY-guh). Literally an “ass violin.” No idea why it exists, but it works wonderfully from a sound perspective. #GermanInsults

5) Warmduscher (thank you @majeriisli!). Someone who showers with lukewarm water, aka someone who’s indecisive and/or weak. Alternative: Schattenparker (he who parks his car in the shade) #GermanInsults

6) Flachzange (literally flat tongs). Wikipedia says it’s the type of tool shown here. Not sure why it’s even an insult, but the German-dubbed version of Dr. Cox on Scrubs uses it all the time towards JD.
(Scrubs is still called Scrubs). #GermanInsults

7) Weichei. A soft egg. Someone who lacks bravery or fortitude. I’ve also seen the opposite Hartei to denote a daredevil but I wouldn’t say it’s common. #GermanInsults

8) The first local one! Scherenschleifer, or one who sharpens scissors, is used for “crook” or “fraud” in the Southwest of Germany. Presumably because the people going from door to door offering to sharpen their tools for them were not the most trustworthy sort. #GermanInsults

9) Windbeutel (WIND-boy-tell) is the wonderful pastry depicted here. The term is also used for someone who’s full of it or has nothing to offer (used eg against politicians). Probably due to the pastry’s light filling. #GermanInsults

10) Dumpfbacke (thanks @dmnknmnn!). “Dull cheek” or “hollow cheek.” Not sure how it came to be, but it probably became a household term due to the German dub of “Married with Children” #GermanInsults

11) Vollpfosten (“complete pole/bollard”). Someone who’s useless, just standing around like... like a complete pole. #GermanInsults

12) another personal fave: Hampelmann. If you pull his string, he will dance for you. A Hampelmann can be someone who’s foolish or someone without a spine who dances whenever he’s told to. #GermanInsults

13) One from the north! Dösbaddel is a wonderfully harmless insult. You’ll recognize “Dösen” as “dozing,” so a Dösbaddel is someone who’s just not quite there right now.
#GermanInsults

14) Ekelpaket. A package full of disgusting. Anyone can be eklig sometimes (= disgusting), but only a smarmy bastard can be a real Ekelpaket. #GermanInsults

15) Rotzlöffel (thanks @MarcusCrede!). Literally a spoonful of snot. Often used against bratty or spoiled kids. #GermanInsults

16) Holzkopf. A wooden head. Pretty self-explanatory and has a nice sound to it. #GermanInsults

17) Schwaller. Anyone talks nonsense sometimes, but when the BS comes out as a Schwall (= gush), then you might have Schwaller at your hands. #GermanInsults

18) Depp. Someone who’s deppert, aka not smart.
Yes, a certain Johnny might have seen his last name misused in negative movie reviews in Germany. #GermanInsults

19) Kackbratze (thank you @TGBaudson!). I believe it just means “crap-hand”? Either way its sound makes it highly usable.

20) Kasper. While it’s technically a normal first name, it’s more often used for this particular hand puppet. Just like Hampelmann, a Kasper is a fool (who might be controlled by others). #GermanInsults

Alright, the first score of insults is complete and I need a break — keep liking the original tweet, let’s see how far we can push this

21) I’ve asked my wife for advice on this, which has had the hilarious side effect that she’s not walking around throwing random German insults at me. Just now: Hackfresse. A face like minced meat, ie mixed up. #GermanInsults

22) Klugscheißer (thanks @DrFrybird!). It’s identical to smart ass, but it’s literal meaning is someone who even craps smart. #GermanInsults

23) Kotzbrocken (thanks @jz_GFZ!). Literally a chunk of vomit. You know the type. Just someone whose behavior is disgusting. #GermanInsults

24) Waschlappen (thanks @VivienneLitzke!). Literally just a washcloth. Someone who’s wimpy or spineless. #GermanInsults

25) Paragraphenreiter. Literally someone riding on the letters of the law like on a horse. It denotes someone who, as a good German is wont to do, takes rules in generals much too seriously. #GermanInsults

26) Some regular first names have been used as insults, among them Otto and Horst. I think just because they sound funny. I do like the extension Muskelotto for someone who’s taking their muscular physique too seriously. #GermanInsults

27) Schnarchnase (thank you @RitterRotz!). Literally snooze-nose. Someone who's sluggish. Maybe we can establish the translation "schnooze schnozzle" for this? #GermanInsults

28) A fun Bavarian one suggested by @jz_GFZ: “Breznsoiza:” someone who salts pretzels, and the escalation “an Depp sei‘ Breznsoiza” — someone who salts the pretzels for a Depp.
(If you don’t know Depp, you haven’t been paying attention to the thread ) #GermanInsults

29) Grüßonkel. I'm unfamiliar with this one myself, but I trust @JPdeRuiter and hereby include his definition: "Friendly but not too sharp person whose main contribution it is to pat shoulders and shake hands in a formal role. Like a clueless but charming Rektor at a university."

30) Suggested by @tanja_gb WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY TODAY! PLEASE SEND HER YOUR BEST HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES!
Heckebronzer. He who pees into the hedge. Definitely regional to southern Germany. #GermanInsults

31) A great one suggested by @snurb_dot_info: Pantoffelheld, literally a hero in slippers. That means they're mostly a hero in their own mind, because they exaggerate their accomplishments. #GermanInsults

32) Trust @Lexialex to provide some excellent Mannheimer ones: Stinkschnitzel goes without explanation. Babsack translates to "sticky sack" and probably means that someone is dirty...? Definitely works very well as a yelled insult, though. #GermanInsults

33) Spinatwachtel! (thanks @anneke_lincoln!) Literally a "spinach quail." Apparently its etymology is something akin to "wacky bird," and it's exclusively used for women, particularly if they're grumpy and elderly. #GermanInsults

34) Schnösel. (Thanks @jz_GFZ!) Someone who think they’re better than others. #GermanInsults

35) Spatzenhirn, literally a sparrow’s brain. A pretty common insult. Its pronunciation lends itself well to spitting it out in anger: SCHPOTZ-un-HEERN

36) a LOT of people suggested Flitzpiepe. I think it’s also a type of whistle? The etymology doesn’t seem to be clear. It’s a fun, harmless term for a fool, or someone who shouldn’t be taken seriously. #GermanInsults

37) Seckel/Seggel is a regional one. Literally “small bag” but it doesn’t seem clear if it means your wallet is empty or if it refers to male genitalia. Either way it’s an insult EXCEPT in the town I went to high school in: they’re proud to be Seckel & have even built a statue:

38) Allow me to list the best derivations of Seckel as a separate entry: Schafseckel (sheep Seckel), Halbseckel (half Seckel) and Drecksseckel (dirt Seckel) are all things you will likely hear if you irritate people around my birthplace. #GermanInsults

39) Hanswurst. Literally “Hans Sausage.” Based on a 16th century comedic character, since then commonly used to call someone a wimp. The expression is so old that Martin Luther (!) was accused of having used it to insult a local Lord. #GermanInsults

40) Lackaffe (thanks @Isabel_Lacurie!). Looks literally like "varnish monkey," but the first syllable is likely just a homonym of German "varnish" & instead once meant a fool. Possibly shares its etymology with "lackey," but it's unclear. A related insult: Dämlack #GermanInsults

41) Witzfigur (thank you @Myschwa!). Literally a joke figure. Usable just like “clown” (which in German, confusingly, is still “Clown”). #GermanInsults

42) Brunzkachel (thank you @BastianDombret!). I’m not familiar with that one myself, but apparently it denotes someone who pees a lot. Also I love the way it sounds. #GermanInsults

43) Dünnbrettbohrer (thank you @_florian and others!). Literally a drill that’s only suitable for thin boards. #GermanInsults

44) A personal favorite: Armleuchter. Literally a type of lamp, but it’s used as a stand-in for the more offensive “Arschloch” (which is, um, the anus). The former can even be used if you’re the chancellor, for example, if need be. #GermanInsults

45) another fave: Knalltüte, or “bang bag.” It’s this home-made toy that’s not good for anything other than making noise. As Knalltüten in general are. (But it’s probably derived from “Knall” meaning something that’s not going right in the head) #GermanInsults

46) Knallkopf or Knallkopp is a variant of Knalltüte that is probably much easier to pronounce for non-Germans. (But note that the K *is* being pronounced, and without adding an invisible vowel like y’all are doing when saying “Knievel”) #GermanInsults

47) A local one! Entenklemmer (or duck-pincher) is someone who’s so cheap that when buying a duck they’ll pinch it to see if there’s an egg inside before accepting the sale.
So I guess they’re greedy, not cheap? But I’ve only heard it to say cheap. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ #GermanInsults

48) Schreckschraube (thanks @Uli_Pfeffer!). Literally a scare-screw, although apparently “Schreck” used to mean “jump” (so a jumpscare would be a Schreckschreck? ). Used exclusively to describe women, mostly used to say that someone is annoying or hard to handle. #GermanInsults

49) Spassbremse (thanks @rabbitholer!). Literally a fun-brake, used to call someone a killjoy or a party pooper. I also use the opposite “Spassnase” (fun-nose) if someone is silly, but it’s not really very common, I think. #GermanInsults