I think if there’s anything I’d really want people, including the general public, to understand about me in the event the pandemic got me, one of them might be that I have loving friends & have worked in tandem with many solid socialists over the years... 1/

...but that this very time a year ago, I was suicidally depressed in a psych ward, and they didn’t know where to put me (house me) for several weeks because the person who I was living with, an avowed “anarchist” known on this site as AntiFash Gordon, said I was a burden & he 2/

regretted not “disciplining me harder early on” when he rescued me from homelessness. He spent that winter cheating on his monogamous fiancée on the sly & then lying abt it - which is relevant because he used his wedding plans as a pretext to say that I was 3/

too costly, despite always insisting the opposite before when I asked & even denying me the opportunity to purchase my own groceries, a financial control tactic. I was constantly told that was I cared about and even loved by this person despite increasingly feeling that 4/

not only was I being actively mistreated the entire time, but that I was about to be jettisoned without a float.

After he mocked me for “moping”, I saw my therapist the next day, got 51/50’d, and was locked up for a MONTH - and not for a medically necessary reason, either. 5/

they literally didn’t have any shelters for me to live nearby with open beds. it was between begging someone emotionally hostile to let me stay until I qualified for disability (lol) or staying inpatient. I ended up getting displaced 1/2way across the state, to a place where I 6/

knew no one, in the most traumatic time of my life, when I still had my friends but:

I had been homeless. This “anarchist” who preaches mutual aid & “non-toxic masculinity” & “platonically” lovebombed the shit out of me had said he’d care for me. It wasn’t even in hindsight 7/

that this was weird & had uncomfortable vibes, but I had to survive & I didn’t know how to read the red flags in his then-relationship either, which was deeply harmful to my mental health to coexist with. I was afraid often, and not for my literal safety, but there was a 8/

subtle controlling dynamic, ever-present, that made me feel helpless yet feel that I had to perform something emotionally ingenuine or I could be abandoned. In fact, that is exactly what happened. 9/

Why am I saying this? Clearly nobody cares. If his comrades gave a shit about allegations that Gordon was abusive to anyone, they would have done more than ignore me before he would have seized the chance to make the inflammatory suggestion that personal attestations 10/

to his character were a conspiracy orchestrated by nazis, somehow set up by a Black, trans socialist who was misgendered by one of those nazis.

I write all this because a year later, I seethe when these people - AFG and his apologists - dare to say that they practice 11/

community self-defense. They don’t support trans people. They aren’t “antiracist”. Ya golden boy “de-homed” a young, Black, trans socialist because he got bored fruitlessly flirting with him & spending money that was never asked for, to please himself. 12/

It’s a grim hour, folks. chauvinists, imperialists, dudebros & liberals in “leftist” clothing don’t scare me, but COVID-19 does. If what had happened to me last year had happened to me now, I’d be a stat for a number of reasons, but the pandemic 13/

is a new factor that reminds me of 2019, desperate to convey that you don’t do...all fucking that to the two people you extensively claimed to be 100% about, & then build a platform to Superman abt Protecting people. 2 many of you are running cover.

It’s wrong. 14/

Be real or more people are gonna die. You pretend to give a shit about the feminism? Social distancing is expected to exacerbate domestic violence. People will be isolated & at home for extended periods, unable to work. Will you muster the courage then to truly “protect” your 15/

community, including if that means a friend of yours is alleged to have done harm to someone? Or will you gaslight them & block them when they try to talk to you about it, like a Gwen Snyder? These aren’t new questions, only in new context.

You can be braver. 16.

Months later, he is still claiming I connected with an organization I not only never heard of before he made up this conspiracy theory, to badjacket, again, someone he mistreated and manipulated (all involving an organization which I don’t at all agree with). @NashvilleABC

I’ve said as much before I think, but this dude has played fast and loose with my infosec as a control tactic before & I was too intimidated to say anything about it, & I’m not the only one. He bragged to someone he was flirting with about everything he got me for

Christmas in 2018. He sings to people like a bird under the right circumstances & has been consistently spreading conspiracy theories that I’m a fascist collaborator, but nobody will hold him accountable or even talk about this. Nobody thinks that’s weird?

I have no reason to lie about anything, & so I haven’t, & never attempted to misrepresent myself as the victim of a grand conspiracy @ the hands of someone institutionally disempowered, but AFG let his fans run away with the idea that I’m lowkey delusional...

maybe even some kind of jilted lover, but who does that actually benefit? Stop pretending y’all are leftists, lmao. Y’all don’t know the half of it.

Another thing he has said a number of times is that I “buried” belongings in a storage shed, or something, and that is what made it unduly hard :( :( for him to return my things that he was deliberately withholding when I kept asking for them back. 1/

He conveniently blew me off when I asked for my birth certificate & an expensive musical instrument that I didn’t hide anywhere back for months to control me.

He also took back the two guitars that he gave to me & he said were gifts *for me* because...natch. 2/

Then when he finally sent it, he mailed it to me as “Ben Shapiro” because these racists love fash-jacketing their victims for a laugh, & he sent some lil bag that actually belonged to his SO & not me because that’s how little he pays attn to anyone, meanwhile I’m still missing

shit from when I lived there that I’ll never see back lmao.