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K-12 #coronavirus closures in Ohio don't even officially start until after school on Monday. Kindergartener already has 3-week "homework" packet half done. Oldest son (HS senior) was bored and had me french-braid his hair his afternoon. This is going to go well.
Official Day 1: 6 year old nagging me to watch "IT" all day. Doesn't quite get that there are clown movies that are not appropriate for children.
One week in: HS senior has become practically nocturnal. I forget he lives here sometimes.
Day 9: HS senior received first at-home assignments today. Due Friday, already largely done. Got so bored with Xbox at 11pm he came down to voluntarily hang out with me and ask about work. Actually listened to me discuss it for a few minutes, even.
Day 11: youngest might finish all of elementary material at this pace if we're out until year's end. Senior asked for yarn (we have no yarn) & did car work after school work until stymied by a stuck bolt.
Day 14: HS senior has made croissants twice (from a can, but still). Signs of life continue to be heard more than seen as he's moved dumbbells into his room and I hear them clank occasionally. 6yo is now a scholar of pirates after reading book on Blackbeard.
Day 19: HS senior's art teacher has seemingly given up since few students have supplies at home. Senior is reduced to projects using Crayola watercolors. Kindergartener fancies himself a scooter pro after a 1.5 mile walk/ride today.
Day 23: Senior's spring break week, so I expect he will complete his transition to becoming completely nocturnal without class responsibilities during the day. He turned 18 this week and we had a sad little party. Kindergartener decided he does not like hikes that go through mud.
Day 24: now that we're all here 24/7, I'm realizing just how often the dog sleeps with her eyes open.
Day 26: bad weather so we're stuck inside. I'm glad kindergartener loves to draw but sitting by his "art gallery" on the wall, they're starting to haunt me.
Day 28: figured out the perfect mask for 6 y.o. to both contain droplets *and* keep people at least 6 feet away.
Day 31: 31 days times approximately 106 UNO games daily with kindergartener = about 54,828 games over the last month per the new rules of lockdown math.
Day 36: I have become one with the couch.
Day 39: 6 yo's laugh has turned into a horrific mashup of Woody Woodpecker and Krusty the Clown. I am amused and terrified.
Day 40: 6 yo old burst into tears multiple times today over minor things--very unlike him. In the midst of one after dinner, I asked why he was sad and while still sobbing, he cried "I.... don't... know!!" He's been a trooper but it's getting to him. https://twitter.com/ambernoelle/status/1253789572020002817
Day 43: 6 yo is still asking daily to watch IT. Another month of this and I'll probably just give in and scar him for life. https://twitter.com/aetiology/status/1239694267708104704
Day 45: just found out after approx 113,574 games of UNO that partner has not been using the Draw 4 cards appropriately (ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE NO OTHER USABLE CARDS Y'ALL) and now I'd have to divorce him if only we were married.
Day 49: eldest child (20, working & with her own apartment) came over for a bit yesterday for some distanced chatting. We took a walk to the reservoir. 6 yo asked her, "are you still my sister?" There were big plans for sleepovers when she moved out that obvs can't happen now.
Day 52: same eldest child is so bored that she started using her Facebook account (mostly dormant because it's only FOR THE OLDS) to share stories about the various ways that customers complain to her about the pandemic.
Day 53: youngest has been introduced to Carl Poppa. This was a huge mistake.
Day 58: kindergartener prefers the MorningStar vegan "chicken" patties over meat. Damn his logic skills, though.
"Wait, if these are veggie patties then why do I have to eat my vegetables?"
"Wait, if these are veggie patties then why do I have to eat my vegetables?"
Day 68: 6 year old has discovered Captain Underpants. Reading the books: fantastic. Quiet, independent, gets him off screens. Netflix series: I need more wine. And I don't even drink.
Day 71: 18 yo is amazed by a talent I hadn't even recognized as such: pouring carbonated drinks exactly to the top of the glass without ever overflowing. Thanks, 10 years of retail food service employment!
Day 73: graduation day in the strangest timeline.
Day 97: youngest meets sister's danger noodle.
Day 102: father, for inexplicable reasons, introduces 6 yo to the "Thanus" theory of Avengers Endgame (if you aren't familiar, https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/3/27/18282960/avengers-endgame-ant-man-vs-thanos-meme-butt-thanus but don't say I didn't warn you). 6 yo proceeds to draw a picture of the event.
Day 105: corona hair is getting out of control.
Day 107: remember that episode of Malcolm in the Middle where they're trapped in the cabin and only have a string to play with? Danger noodle has become our entertainment. https://twitter.com/aurora13smith/status/1278475451867049984?s=19
Day 127: "This ice cream tastes like bubble gum mixed with shoes."
1) it's vanilla
2) he's never had bubble gum
3) to my knowledge, he's also never tasted shoes. But 2020, so who knows.
1) it's vanilla
2) he's never had bubble gum
3) to my knowledge, he's also never tasted shoes. But 2020, so who knows.
Day 136: went to the office for a few minutes for the first time since March. The papers left on my desk are like Tarot cards I should have analyzed before leaving.
Day 187: 6yo starts screaming bloody murder around 10am. I think either he's experiencing my existential angst about the world or he impaled himself on a knife.
But no, just a loose tooth has come out in his fingers, & he howled b/c he "doesn't like how it feels! Put it back!"
But no, just a loose tooth has come out in his fingers, & he howled b/c he "doesn't like how it feels! Put it back!"
Day 197: had to take a walk to cool off after frustration with kiddo's remote first grade. Apparently we're missing a book or worksheets or both, who knows? Teacher is mad and kiddo is crying and dear god it's not even noon yet.
Day 199: ordered 6yo a recorder because he tried to cut holes in a straw to make an instrument. Good-bye to what is left of my rationality and well-being.
Day 207: just to demonstrate that not everything is a shit show, the weather was perfect today & I had this trail all to myself during my run. You could hear the birds chirping and acorns dropping like pebbles.
Day 213: "Mom, what is that dark stuff around your eyes? You look creepy!"
I wore makeup today for the first time in months, in other words.
I wore makeup today for the first time in months, in other words.
Day 216: this will be the scene in our house until well after Halloween.
Day 220: had to ask 6 yo to smell my cheek this morning because I couldn't remember if I put sunscreen on or not. Sleep is going great, thanks for asking.
Happy Friday!
Happy Friday!
Day 231: stress baking. Oatmeal cinnamon chip.
Day 239: missing my Grandpa today. He was in the Coast Guard during WW2, stationed with his brother in NYC. Never made it overseas during his service, but lots of fears about Nazi subs (like this story https://www.historynet.com/world-war-ii-german-saboteurs-invade-america-in-1942.htm).
Grandpa and me, and with my youngest just before he passed.
