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After a series of particularly insightful counseling sessions in college, I am now caring for my 9 year old internal self, my 17 year old high school self, and my 23 year old college self.
Stay with me, this will get to be about girls in a second.
Stay with me, this will get to be about girls in a second.
Often when I think I'm upset I find it's one of them who is really upset, and applying mature wisdom to their immature outlook on life is instantly perspective altering.
They usually need to be walked through an immature way of seeing a situation, and comforted by a grownup.
They usually need to be walked through an immature way of seeing a situation, and comforted by a grownup.
We carry these internal children inside us whether we want to see or hear them or not. If we try to ignore them, they start screaming.
They will make themselves known to us whether we like it or not, and if we don't acknowledge them, they will start leading our decisions for us.
They will make themselves known to us whether we like it or not, and if we don't acknowledge them, they will start leading our decisions for us.
Listening to our internal children carefully and comforting their immature fears is critical.
If we don't, they will take over and drive.
Our mature self should be driving. Which requires reassuring our inner children that we got this, and they can trust us to care for them.
If we don't, they will take over and drive.
Our mature self should be driving. Which requires reassuring our inner children that we got this, and they can trust us to care for them.
I believe most men would be well served to have some good conversations with a psychologist about our childhoods to save a few years of heartache.
I believe most men need to be reparented by our grown up selves before we can become who we were meant to be.
I believe most men need to be reparented by our grown up selves before we can become who we were meant to be.
I further believe that reparenting ourselves is not a one time business, but that when we meet our inner children, we will continue taking good care of them and constantly protecting them and reassuring them and comforting them for the rest of our lives.
As this applies to women, we often say the best approach is to treat women like little girls.
What we truly invoking, is her inner child.
And who better to connect with her inner child, than yours?
Except, if you've never met him, how can you call on him to connect with her?
What we truly invoking, is her inner child.
And who better to connect with her inner child, than yours?
Except, if you've never met him, how can you call on him to connect with her?
The very best approach with women is to connect with her inner little girl by calling on your own inner boy to play with her.
And then with your mature adult self, assuring both her, and him, that you will care for both of them so they can be free to play, and won't get hurt.
And then with your mature adult self, assuring both her, and him, that you will care for both of them so they can be free to play, and won't get hurt.
As this applies to yourself, when you're with a woman you care about, this will trigger every childhood insecurity you've ever felt. Your inner children will panic and try to drive. And because she wants to connect with a grown ass man, your inner children will repel her.
Which of course, reinforces their insecurities, proving what they knew all along - you're not worthy of love!
...except of course, you are worthy.
So the key is to reassure your inner children that adult you, has got this.
And that they are loved, and will never be alone.
...except of course, you are worthy.
So the key is to reassure your inner children that adult you, has got this.
And that they are loved, and will never be alone.
And that they are free to feel their fears, and their anxieties, and those emotions are valid...
...and, you're not going to allow them to drive your life, any longer.
They can relax now. Adult you has got this.
...and, you're not going to allow them to drive your life, any longer.
They can relax now. Adult you has got this.
And when adult you can assure your own inner children that their fears are heard, and also you will take care of them, now you are free to bring a woman into your life, with her own fears, her own insecurities, and she can be confident you will take care of her inner children too
An adult man who is not actively in touch with and taking care of his injured inner children is not yet ready to take care of a woman, her inner children, and the children you two make together.
She needs to know a grown man is taking care of you all.
She needs to know a grown man is taking care of you all.
