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*eyes pop open at 2am*
Brain: you wanna think about that locker use policy for a bit?
Me: not now, my dude.
Brain: ...nah, we're doing this.
Me:
Brain: don't worry, I have dozens of other topics queued up too. You might just want to get up and put on some coffee.
Brain: you wanna think about that locker use policy for a bit?
Me: not now, my dude.
Brain: ...nah, we're doing this.
Me:
Brain: don't worry, I have dozens of other topics queued up too. You might just want to get up and put on some coffee.
*2:30am*
Brain: you ever wonder if you are really bad at everything and super unlikable, but no one wants to tell you because they know it'd break you and instead they've all just been pretending this whole time?!
Me:
Brain: ...because that's a possibility.
Brain: you ever wonder if you are really bad at everything and super unlikable, but no one wants to tell you because they know it'd break you and instead they've all just been pretending this whole time?!
Me:
Brain: ...because that's a possibility.
*3:00am*
Me: please stop
Brain: okay
Me: really?
Brain: lol, nope - remember that time in fifth grade when you meant to say "Lewis and Clark" but you had a crush on Terri Hatcher and answered "Lois and Clark" instead?
Me: *sigh* ...yes
Brain: let's dwell on that for a bit!
Me: please stop
Brain: okay
Me: really?
Brain: lol, nope - remember that time in fifth grade when you meant to say "Lewis and Clark" but you had a crush on Terri Hatcher and answered "Lois and Clark" instead?
Me: *sigh* ...yes
Brain: let's dwell on that for a bit!
*3:10am*
Me: okay, but Terri Hatcher was a total babe...and that show was fun!
Brain: oh totally...and also everyone laughed at you
Me:
Brain: even the teacher
Me: okay, but Terri Hatcher was a total babe...and that show was fun!
Brain: oh totally...and also everyone laughed at you
Me:
Brain: even the teacher
*3:30am*
Brain: what do you suppose that random elbow pain is?
Me: I don't know, dude.
Brain: don't worry it's probably not cancer though...or, like, a crippling degenerative disorder, or shark aids.
Me:
Brain: ...unless?
Brain: what do you suppose that random elbow pain is?
Me: I don't know, dude.
Brain: don't worry it's probably not cancer though...or, like, a crippling degenerative disorder, or shark aids.
Me:
Brain: ...unless?
*4:00am*
Brain: did you hear that?
Me: I didn't hear anything.
Brain: exactly
Me:
Brain: you should go check on the cat
Me: but she's probably just asleep in the living room
Brain: oh yeah sure
Me:
Brain: still...awfully quiet out there, isn't it?
Me: *gets out of bed*
Brain: did you hear that?
Me: I didn't hear anything.
Brain: exactly
Me:
Brain: you should go check on the cat
Me: but she's probably just asleep in the living room
Brain: oh yeah sure
Me:
Brain: still...awfully quiet out there, isn't it?
Me: *gets out of bed*
*4:02am*
Me: *flipping on lights in the living room*
Cat: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Me: sorry
Brain: whew glad that's settled - now that your up, do you wanna pet the cat and ponder every bad thing that could happen to her?
Me: no, fuck you
Brain: ...let's talk feline diseases!
Me: *flipping on lights in the living room*
Cat: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Me: sorry
Brain: whew glad that's settled - now that your up, do you wanna pet the cat and ponder every bad thing that could happen to her?
Me: no, fuck you
Brain: ...let's talk feline diseases!
*4:30am*
Brain: should we make coffee? maybe go for a run?
Me: what if you just let me go back to sleep?
Brain: maybe pull out your phone, get mad about politics online, tweet into the ether solving and contributing nothing, but still giving yourself carte blanche to be smug
Brain: should we make coffee? maybe go for a run?
Me: what if you just let me go back to sleep?
Brain: maybe pull out your phone, get mad about politics online, tweet into the ether solving and contributing nothing, but still giving yourself carte blanche to be smug
*4:45am*
Brain: can I interest you in a bunch of unfounded guilt that I've built on the faulty premise of your own assumed expectations others have had of you and you failed miserably to live up to?
Me: no thank you
Brain: first up, you don't visit or call your family enough
Brain: can I interest you in a bunch of unfounded guilt that I've built on the faulty premise of your own assumed expectations others have had of you and you failed miserably to live up to?
Me: no thank you
Brain: first up, you don't visit or call your family enough
*5:00am*
Brain: wow, time flies, huh?
Me: please stop
Brain: ...and we've covered so much ground! Very productive!
Me: you suck
Brain: to think we started off thinking about that locker policy.
Me: shut up
Brain: you know what, let's go over that whole thing one more time
Brain: wow, time flies, huh?
Me: please stop
Brain: ...and we've covered so much ground! Very productive!
Me: you suck
Brain: to think we started off thinking about that locker policy.
Me: shut up
Brain: you know what, let's go over that whole thing one more time
*5:20am*
Brain: you wanna think about your brother and get real fuckin' sad?
Me: *gets up and starts putting on running gear*
Brain: okay fine, but I'm coming with you
Me: *sigh*
Brain: you wanna think about your brother and get real fuckin' sad?
Me: *gets up and starts putting on running gear*
Brain: okay fine, but I'm coming with you
Me: *sigh*
*5:45am*
Me: *running*
Brain: now that we're out here doing this thing...it seems like a really good time to focus on how old and broken you are, I mean...how much does this kill your knees? Should we stop running? Maybe forever?
Me: why are you like this?
Brain: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Me: *running*
Brain: now that we're out here doing this thing...it seems like a really good time to focus on how old and broken you are, I mean...how much does this kill your knees? Should we stop running? Maybe forever?
Me: why are you like this?
Brain: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
*6:30am*
Brain: I don't know about you, but I'm pretty tuckered out. Maybe we should get some sleep.
Me: it's time to go to work
Brain: okay, yeah...but I'm sleep now and don't wanna do that
Me:
Brain: I don't know about you, but I'm pretty tuckered out. Maybe we should get some sleep.
Me: it's time to go to work
Brain: okay, yeah...but I'm sleep now and don't wanna do that
Me:
*7:30am*
Brain: whole lotta typos in those tweets, you should probably spend some quality time obsessing about how dumb people will think you are now
Me: but this is *YOUR* fault
Brain: ohhhh...now he knows 'your' vs 'you're'
Me: fuck you, dude
Brain: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz
Brain: whole lotta typos in those tweets, you should probably spend some quality time obsessing about how dumb people will think you are now
Me: but this is *YOUR* fault
Brain: ohhhh...now he knows 'your' vs 'you're'
Me: fuck you, dude
Brain: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz
*8:00am*
Me: I'm getting a cupcake. I deserve a cupcake.
Brain: totally, treat yo'self...
Me: thanks, I didn't thi--
Brain: ...to a giant blob of diabetes while you sit there and wonder why you're getting pudgy again, you chunky sack of goo!!
Me: *rage-eats cupcake*
Me: I'm getting a cupcake. I deserve a cupcake.
Brain: totally, treat yo'self...
Me: thanks, I didn't thi--
Brain: ...to a giant blob of diabetes while you sit there and wonder why you're getting pudgy again, you chunky sack of goo!!
Me: *rage-eats cupcake*
