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Sonic the Hedgehog (2020, Paramount Pictures) is a godawful Hollywood by-the-numbers piece of dogshit waste of time and money.
VFX artists were harmed in the making of this trash, Jim Carrey was paid and given shit-tons of publicity for it, and it wasn't even okay.
VFX artists were harmed in the making of this trash, Jim Carrey was paid and given shit-tons of publicity for it, and it wasn't even okay.
And this isn't a case of me just being a Negative Nancy about Sonic in general (and I hate how that's been weaponized by people trying to brush these issues under the rug.)
I have loved Sonic for so many years. I fucking loved Sonic Forces. I'm a Sonic fan, and I hated this.
I have loved Sonic for so many years. I fucking loved Sonic Forces. I'm a Sonic fan, and I hated this.
We're introduced to the cop character (who is a COP, not a park ranger, as someone in my mentions thought) with him fantasizing about giving someone a speeding ticket.
He wants to become a big-city cop. So, no, Sonic (Antifa Legend) should NOT want a friendship with this guy.
He wants to become a big-city cop. So, no, Sonic (Antifa Legend) should NOT want a friendship with this guy.
Dr. Robotnik, after all the hype, is just Jim Carrey.
Carrey didn't bother getting the character right, he just played the same character he played in Batman Forever and a ton of his other films. It's stale, sad at this point, and it would have been EASY to do a better Eggman.
Carrey didn't bother getting the character right, he just played the same character he played in Batman Forever and a ton of his other films. It's stale, sad at this point, and it would have been EASY to do a better Eggman.
Pros of the film: James Marsden is a hot piece of ass and I got to watch that for an hour and a half.
Cons of the film: Basically everything else. Also it WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING RACIST.
Cons of the film: Basically everything else. Also it WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING RACIST.
Not THREE MINUTES into the goddamned film they feature the "great power-hungry bad guys" echidna tribe (that the film was NOT shy about playing up how indigenous it was, FUCKING RACISTS.)
But, mercifully, that's left behind for a fucking sequel. Wait, that's not merciful at all!
But, mercifully, that's left behind for a fucking sequel. Wait, that's not merciful at all!
The accusations of racism were not just a joke or a "meme" between teenage Birds of Prey fans, as TSSZ erroneously reported during its thinly-veiled targeted harassment blog post, it's REAL AS HELL.
They feature a fat black woman whose pain is exclusively treated as a PUNCHLINE.
They feature a fat black woman whose pain is exclusively treated as a PUNCHLINE.
She's the sister of Tom's wife, whose marriage with Tom has been treated by fans of the film as "proof" of it not being racist, and her character was such a two-dimensional stereotypical "angry black woman" I had to double-check to see if I didn't accidentally boot up my Genesis.
At first, Rachel is briefly shown for a "you should divorce your husband" gag, which I thought was nice because you should divorce your shitty cop husband if he won't quit being a class traitor.
Then they get to RACHEL'S house, she faints after seeing Sonic, and they TIE HER UP.
Then they get to RACHEL'S house, she faints after seeing Sonic, and they TIE HER UP.
She is then left TIED UP IN HER OWN HOUSE for the rest of the goddamned film, while Maddie goes along with whatever the fuck Tom's up to because he paid for her rent and her tuition or some bullshit.
But Rachel's the one we're supposed to hate. Meanwhile, Maddie is ~Respectable~
But Rachel's the one we're supposed to hate. Meanwhile, Maddie is ~Respectable~
She -barely- freaks out about the unconscious anthropomorphic hedgehog and is generally just... there to... give Sonic smelling salts and nothing else? She was just... present, in the third act.
But she's VERY loving and devoted to her white cop husband, so we should like her /s
But she's VERY loving and devoted to her white cop husband, so we should like her /s
Also, there's a bar scene where some tough guys go up to Sonic and Tom to say "we don't like -your kind- around here."
When asked for clarification as to what "your kind" is supposed to imply, he responds "hipsters" when the writers clearly wanted them to say something homomisic
When asked for clarification as to what "your kind" is supposed to imply, he responds "hipsters" when the writers clearly wanted them to say something homomisic
All in all, I'd take a bite out of John Marsden's thighs, but don't see this movie.
It's bad, it's racist, it's misogynistic, it's homomisic, it's saneist & ableist as hell but that's also a lot of movies. It's still bad here, though.
The Sonic series was fine without this film
It's bad, it's racist, it's misogynistic, it's homomisic, it's saneist & ableist as hell but that's also a lot of movies. It's still bad here, though.
The Sonic series was fine without this film
