On Kobe Bryant. And grief.

It’s OK to be affected by the passing of someone you didn’t know personally; part of you can pass, too. To be affected by loss is compassion in its most pure form, “to suffer with”, quite literally.

And in that way we we carry all we have lost.

It’s OK to be affected by the passing of someone you didn’t know personally. In someone’s passing part of you can pass too, part of your childhood, we all remember where we were when he had 81, you remember that trip you took to the game with your parents where he didn’t flinch..

when Barnes checked the ball, Or how every time you threw out a piece of paper you yelled “Kobe!”; I remember how Kobe’s instagram page recently turned into a love note for his daughters It all left an imprint on your life, it is a part of your life.

To be affected by someone’s passing is compassion in its most pure form, “to suffer with”, quite literally. And in that way we think of Vanessa and Natalia and Bianka and Capri. And the Altobelli, Chester, Zobayan, Mauser families. We walk with them in the suffering,...

we share their path. It’s in that way we carry forward Gigi. It’s in that way we carry all we have lost.

13 years old, her story was just being told. It’s heart stopping in every measure.

Vanessa’s life today, and all the families, just heart stopping. Life questioning. ...

The ones left behind are in an indescribable position. The heart needs help to restart, it needs others’ hearts. Let it be yours, and let it help other.

Because the fact is no one’s path is there’s alone. No one’s life was ever about just one thing, served for one purpose. ...

Kobe Bryant is again exceptional in this regard, in the ways he touched people, motivated people, united people, encouraged people, provided an aspirational beacon, a mentality. Also in the way his life had complexities and tribulations and what that did/does to others. ...

We consider his death and his life and we can speak of the fullness of it - the ‘angels and devils’ in all of us, as Kobe said- and all those who were part of it & affected by it. We do this as grace, it amplifies the best of our ourselves.

You can’t live a life untouched by grief. You can’t live a life untouched by tragedy. These are feelings you never want to feel, feelings you will never forget, But they are feelings you must feel and giving voice to them might be the best tool we have to process.

It might be counterintuitive, but embrace that vulnerability. I heard it said by some, it feels so much worse today. It's a key point in recovery: it doesn't get better with time, it gets better with time and work. Consider letting your work be in how you voice your feelings,

talk with other people, talk about people’s lives in full, and carry forward their spirit.

Most importantly be with the ones in your life-truly be with them. Allow them to be full, amazing, complicated, flawed humans. Allow them, even in loss, to always be with you.

Consider how maybe it’s not possible to to know or explain or reconcile every facet of anyone’s life- nor is it a task for anyone on this earth-but to allow for it all to be spoken, and none to be silenced. To let all grieve in their own way and confront the uncomfortable.