Here's an idea to carry into 2020:

You cannot create or curate a community where everyone is welcome. It's an incoherent, fake goal. It sounds nice but it is categorically impossible. Some people, by their very presence, make a space unsafe and unwelcoming to others.

No one in their right mind would ever say "Children AND pedophiles are both welcome to use this park." It sounds like a bad punchline.

But it's how most communities are run. People are conflict-averse and casting a wide net sounds like a good idea if you don't think about it.

The next bad idea down the line is usually "well, anyone who follows the rules is welcome." The problem here is that that this opens the door to people who have no interest in following the intent of the rules, but are good at not quite blatantly stepping over the line.

There WILL be foundational conflicts in your group or community and you need to decide whose side you're on ahead of time.

In 2020, this generally means marginalized people vs various bigots.

If you're operating with a blanket rule set, be aware that the person who gets needled in little deniable ways all the time is usually the first one to snap and yell "go fuck yourself." Blind civil-behavior-based moderation tends to favor assholes.

Trying to institute a community where bigots are allowed to hang around "as long as they behave" is laying out an open challenge for them to find ways to engage in their ideological behavior without drawing down the lightning. Their victims know what they're doing.

They know that they're being targeted. They know they're sitting in the crosshairs. They know it's just a matter of time until they get fucked with.

And they know that you're allowing it, either because you are too stupid to see it, or too cowardly to stop it.

If you want a healthy community, you lay out very clearly your values and that anyone who isn't down with them can fuck off into the wild blue yonder. And then you enforce them.

Or you eventually turn to shit like so many spaces before you.

Here's another fun thought to carry into the new year:
Most bigots don't think they're bigots. If you're curating a community, that is their problem. It's not your problem. Your problem is curating your community and enforcing your standards.

Because, remember, your goal is not to welcome everyone. It's to maintain a space that is welcoming to the people you want there.

If you don't want to go zero-tolerance on people who don't have like, a swastika tattooed on their forehead, fine. If you think "this warrants a warning," fine. Sometimes people can do better.

But just keep in mind that every violation of your community standards is like hearing nails on a chalkboard, for the people these violations are directed against. How many times would you sit around and listen to that before bouncing out?