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OH, REPUBLICAN CONGRESS-CRITTERS! How. It. Must. Suck. To. Be. You. Right. Now! You hate this mother-fucker, don't you? It really does show, you know. Despite all of the Oscar-worthy performances, (looking at you, Doug Collins. And you, Lindsey Graham.) 1/16
For so long we naively thought you were still human; that at some point you'd wake up from your trance deeply, deeply ashamed of yourselves! You'd acknowledge how stupid! How foolish! How gullible! You had been, and beg for our forgiveness. BUT NO! 2/16
That little light didn't come on! How could this be??? We racked our brains trying to find a combination of words that would cut through the MAGA fever, because eventually, somehow you'd wake up. Alas! It was not to be! 3/16
So we went back to the drawing board, realizing we had not a single answer for your slavish devotion. Your delirium and delusion. We read about authoritarian brains, and how you can't help it, (poor little lambs!) 4/16
We read about confirmation bias, and reflex control, and gaslighting, and on and on, desperately searching for answers. 5/16
We read about Cambridge Analytica and Facebook and Twitter and bots and micro-targeting and projection and Rupert Murdoch and Sinclair and Fox and MSNBC and Dunning-Kruger and horseshoes. But that wasn't it. What was it? 6/16
Money? Oh yesssssssss, that's how it started, isn't it. Because WHO DOESN'T LOVE MONEY, AMIRITE? Money beyond your wildest dreams! Obscene amounts of seemingly endless money! WHEEEEEEEE!!! 7/16
But then, it became something else, didn't it. I mean, you don't get to just treason a little bit and then say "OK I'm good!" thinking you can walk away! Surely you didn't think THAT! You did? Oh. Well that's bad. Because you don't just get to walk away. 8/16
It's amazing, isn't it, how many ways a human being can be persuaded to do another's bidding--no matter how awful the task(s)? There's abject poverty, but that's the lightest punishment you could receive, and when you find out all the other things that could happen to you...9/16
...in the blink of an eye once you take dirty mob blood money, you'll beg for only poverty. There's public humiliation. There's prison. Your spouse and children might disown you when they are shown the pics and vids. 10/16
But really, none of that compares to the worst of what could happen to you. The bone-saw mafia would have no qualms about dispatching you a la Jamal Kashogghi. And maybe they won't anesthetize you first? Or maybe they'd do it to your family while you're forced to watch? 11/16
All this to say that we kind of understand now why you seem to have lost your minds. Why you have willingly destroyed everything you ever purported to stand for. Why you have jeopardized the safety and future of not only your own country, 12/16
...but literally the planet and the future of humanity. We see it every time you speak. Every word you write tells a whole story. We imagine we could smell the flop sweat if we were right there next to you. Thank God we aren't. 13/16
Anyhoo. Y'all do what you gotta do, and we will do what we gotta do. And we will win. You can count on that. The only thing we don't know is how each of you will fall. 14/16
Will you be walked out of your office in handcuffs with your head down? Will you put a pistol in your mouth? Test a high-rise window? Get whacked? That will be the truly fascinating part. We won't be able to look away. 15/16
Some might even feel sorry for you for a split second, and if that happens, I will be there to remind them that you did this to yourselves. God help you. And God Bless America. We will survive you. 16/16
@threader_app compile
