Bisexuality and Threesomes
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Why Liam's Payne's 'Both Ways' is problematic and Panic! At The Disco's 'Girls/Girls/Boys' isn't - A Bisexual Point of View

CONTENT WARNING: Because I will be talking about the fetishisation of bisexuals, I will also speak about the real consequence it has, namely sexual assault. If you are sensitive to this, please read with caution. Stay safe!

On 6 December, Liam Payne released a song called Both Ways. In this song, he speaks about having a threesome with his bisexual girlfriend. The way the lyrics were written shines a light on a big problem for the bisexual community, especially bisexual women: fetishisation. +

In his song he speaks of his relationship with a bisexual woman as can be seen from the lyric: "My girl, she like it both ways. She like the way it all taste." This is soon followed by lyrics purely focused on sex, especially threesomes, and how lucky he is to do that with her. +

This is made clear in a couple of lyrics, showed here, that repeat throughout the song with small variations in the pre-chorus. He goes even further, talking about how he likes her for just being bisexual in the lyric: "Like that you're different, yeah, do what you want." +

It's quite obvious that these lyrics are horribly one-dimensional, only focused on sex with as basis bisexuality and bisexuality as a whole. This is what causes the song to be viewed as fetishising, because it treats bisexuality as a kink or fantasy rather than an identity. +

This song also reinforces a couple of harmful stereotypes about bisexuality, that have very real consequences. The first stereotype is the link between bisexuality and threesomes. The idea that being bisexual means you are by definition into having sex with multiple people +

is reinforced by media again and again. Not only does it make it so that bisexuality is seen as something solely sexual, but it also stems for a biphobic idea at its core. The tendency to evaluate someone's identity based on who they have sex with is very prevalent in society. +

Thereby, if a bisexual person is in a relationship with someone of the same sex, they're seen as a closeted gay. If a bisexual person is in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, they're seen as straight or not gay enough. This often means a part of their identity +

is erased. It also means that you're not seen as purely bisexual unless you have sex in a threesome manner, with both men and women. This is not what bisexuality is in reality, but it is the way it is often seen by monosexual people. This idea of validity then coincides with +

the fact that a threesome is a sexual fantasy for many. Monosexual people ask you for a threesome because you are bisexual, and when you refuse you're not seen as bisexual enough because you don't fit the stereotype, or even worse, you're forced, guilt-tripped or assaulted. +

Research shows alarming rates for sexual violence targeted towards bisexual women, them being three times more likely to experience sexual assault. For almost half, this happens between the ages of 11-17. They are also more likely to experience physical violence and stalking. +

This difference is mostly credited towards biphobic violence and the fetishisation of bisexual women, as reiterated by Liam in his song. Whether intended or not, he fed into stereotypes and ideas that cause harm to people all over the world, to the dismay and disgust of many. +

He shows a grave misunderstanding and ignorance of these issues and their consequences. Even without those issues in mind, he made many people feel objectified and fetishised. He could've easily made a song with more respect and understanding towards the community. +

To illustrate this, I'd like to talk about a song that does exactly that. Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco, is also a song about a threesome with a bisexual woman. However, this song puts a different perspective on it. It isn't about how sexy it is, or about sex at all. +

Instead, the song focuses on experimentation, relationships and even on living in hiding. It shows a friends with benefits relationship where a person figures out they are indeed bisexual and then feels fear, disbelief and the need to hide their identity from the outside world. +

It is dubbed as a bisexual and LGBT anthem, especially with the lyric: "Girls love girls and boys. And love is not a choice." showing exactly what the purpose is of the song. That is how you make a song about bisexuality, with respect and understanding, not with fetishisation.

Sources:
Statistics on sexual assault: https://www.hrc.org/resources/sexual-assault-and-the-lgbt-community
Lyrics Both Ways: https://genius.com/Liam-payne-both-ways-lyrics
Lyrics Girls/Girls/Boys, including commentary from the artist about the meaning of the lyrics: https://genius.com/Panic-at-the-disco-girls-girls-boys-lyrics

I made a thread some time ago listing some songs about bisexuality. So if you want to erase Both Ways from your mind, these are my recommendations: https://twitter.com/bts_bisexual/status/1185997993482358786