The latest cursed thread in the midst of the Hunter x Hunter hiatus and a matchup literally no one asked for, Kurama (YYH) vs. Snoop Dogg. Who will emerge victorious from the smoke? Yoko Kurama the foxy foxy fox or Snoop the doggy doggy dog. We miss you Togashi. Read to find out.

Snoop Dogg was sitting in the back of his Uber LUX immersed in smoke and The Moment. He hadn't realized that this Uber ride had taken 20 years, but figured it was just time dilation. "Er... Mr. Dogg?" the Uber driver, Chris, said. "I think we're here. The Dark Tournament."

The Uber had pulled into the center of an arena where loud noises were heard. Everyone was screaming and they all looked strange- some members of the audience were blue. Some had horns. "Oh my god!" Chris cried. "I think I hit someone!"

Under the car was Karasu from Team Toguro.

"Ay fam," Snoop put a hand on Chris's shoulder as the man began crying. "If all you do is sit... you get hit. That's how shit goes down. Just drop me off and get the fuck outta here before the police show up."

Chris wiped his tears from his face. "T-Thank you Snoop Dogg."

"Dark Tournament?" Snoop scratched his chin. "I thought we was headed to the Dank Tournament. Maybe he just said it wrong."

Everyone was screaming about Karasu, who had been reduced to a pair of legs and a puddle. "Oh by Yomi's ears, he's dead!" yelled an on-stage medic.

Kurama gasped. He had been prepared to fight Karasu and had his rose whip out. "Unbelievable," Kurama muttered. "A car of that size going at that speed took out a demon."

Koto grabbed the microphone. "The medics have confirmed that this mysterious opponent has killed Karasu!"

The crowd gasped wildly. "Everyone calm down!" Koto yelled. "The judges are deciding the next logical steps but in the meanwhile stay seated!"

Snoop Dogg looked at his surroundings, shaking his head. "Yo these people look weird as fuck! Lord of the Rings ass mothafuckers."

"This man... he is from our world!" Kurama thought to himself. "But how did he get here?"

Snoop made eye contact with Kurama. "Must be one of them new Soundcloud rappers that dress like them Japanese anime characters," Snoop sized his opponent. "Yo homie Red what's your name?"

"My name is Kurama," the red-haired man said solemnly. "Karasu was supposed to be my opponent."

Snoop Dogg looked at the tarp behind him, seeing hair flow out under it. "That Pantene conditioner ass dude? He look weak as hell."

"Pantene?" Kurama was confused. "And who are you?"

Snoop Dogg raised his eyebrow. "Lil boy. How the hell have you never heard of Snoop Doggy Dogg? The Doggfather? Gangsta Luv? This is the Dank Tournament right?"

Kurama frowned. "It appears you must be confused. This is the Dark Tournament. A tournament for demons."

"The hell?"

"The judges have deliberated!" Koto's voice radiated throughout the arena. "Kurama's fight will continue and his opponent will be the man who killed Karasu!"

Everyone erupted in applause as Snoop Dogg laughed. A rap battle against this stiff dude with a funny name? Easy.

Sitting at the sidelines, Kurama's friends were shouting to him. "Don't let your guard down Kurama!" Yusuke and Kuwabara shouted. "You don't know his abilities so be careful!"

Hiei smirked. "I sense no power from his opponent. Kurama will win before we can even blink an eye."

Snoop Dogg whose hearing was keen from the many decades he spent in the music industry heard Hiei's remark. "Yo what the fuck that lil Rick Owens wearin ass midget say about me? I'll-"

The referee held out a mic to Snoop Dogg. "Sir, the announcer wants to know your name."

"It's ya boi Snoop Dogg how many fuckin times do I have to remind ya'll!" Snoop Dogg was getting irritated. "And lemme keep this mic."

At the start of every rap battle, Snoop liked to ask his opponents questions to use into verses. "So Cool Mama, whatchu do? What you about?"

Kurama assumed a battle stance. "My name is Kurama. I was born Shuichi Minamino but am the reincarnation of the demon fox, Yoko Kurama. I-"

Snoop Dogg nodded wisely. "That's all I need to know bitch. Now who you think gonna win? The foxy foxy fox or the doggy doggy dog?"

"Is this a riddle?" Kurama said. "I will not even need the power of Yoko to get rid of the likes of you."

"Hey boss, what's the reading on Snoop Dogg's power level?" Jorge the blue demon asked (yes that's his name.)

"Not even in the thousands! It says 420. Ha!" Koenma said.

"Ladies and gentledemon!" Koto announced. "Kurama versus Snoop Dogg in the Dark Tournament- begin!"

Before Kurama could lash his rose whip, Snoop Dogg's eyes narrowed. The rap battle had begun. "Girl you look like ketchup," Snoop said savagely. "Where your hot doggy dog at?"

Kuwabara burst out laughing. "Hey Urameshi did you hear that? Haha, he said Kurama's hair looks like ketchup! I never thought of it, but it kinda does!"

Hiei snapped. "Shut up! Kurama has to stay sharp. He can win this easily as long as those words don't damage his pride!"

"Your words have no bearing on me!" Kurama drew out a rose.

In all of his years participating in rap battles, Snoop Dogg had never seen someone take out a rose, but was unfazed. "Kurama, tryna start drama. Look like a Ronald Weasley mama with a mullet like a llama!"

"Rose whip lash!" Kurama moved his whip around him like a baton, cutting the air before him.

Since time moved slower for Snoop Dogg perpetually because he was high, he dropped it like it was hot at the last second. The whip smashed the arena's rock walls.

"Kurama is the first to attack! Well.. physically," Koto said. "I can't see what's going on through the smoke screen! Did he defeat Snoop Dogg? Wait what's that in the smoke?"

Snoop Dogg reemerged, much to Kurama's surprise. "Bitch I lived," he said with a freshly rolled joint.

"How did he manage to avoid the path of my Rose Whip?" Kurama began to stop and analyze the situation. "His movements are like the average human- perhaps it's not that his reflexes are fast, but rather his perception of time.."

"Damn fool your rap game weak," Snoop clapped back.

Snoop Dogg had his next verbal assault ready. If Kurama wasn't one to heed to insults directed at him, Snoop would have to go personal. Kurama looked like the kind of man to love his mother.

Though Snoop's analysis used no math, he was 100% accurate. Kurama was fond of his mom.

Snoop Dogg grinned. “Bet your mama the bitch from Fast Food Wendy, that hair will never be trendy, compared to your ass, Snoop is Fendi!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara gasped audibly. "Kick his ass for that Kurama!" Yusuke said. "He just dissed your mom!"

Hiei shrugged, unable to relate.

The look in Kurama's eyes became dangerous. How dare Snoop Dogg insult Shiori Minamino, a human that raised Kurama as her own with love.

"You will pay for that with your life, Snoop Douglas," Kurama said formally. "I won't just kill you-- I'll obliterate you with Yoko's power."

"Who the fuck this Yoko Kurama?" Snoop Dogg said, "That's some tacky ass shit!"

He forgot the years that he insisted on changing his name to Snoop Lion. The arena filled with a blinding light and the crowd went wild.

"Kurama is evolving!" Koto shouted. "What will he become!"

Snoop Dogg used the luminescence of Kurama's transformation to light his blunt. Yoko Kurama appeared before him, smiling devilishly.

"Consider yourself lucky to be in the presence of Yoko Kurama before you die," Yoko said evilly.

"Pretty boy say what?" Snoop shot back.

"Well it appears that it's that foxy Yoko Kurama!" Koto yelled in the mic. "Snoop Dogg better watch out!"

Yoko Kurama materialized two roses out of thin air. "Here's a rhyme for you," he said. "To dodge these roses, I would stoop, Dogg."

"Nice ears ya muppet," Snoop taunted.

Snoop Dogg dropped it like it was hot, missing a rose, but one of them pinned him to the ground by the joint. Unwilling to part with it Snoop decided to chill there.

Yoko walked closer. "How does it feel to see an angel of death before you?"

"To be honest, I don't give a FUCK."

Yoko Kurama swiped at Snoop Dogg, knocking away his joint inciting his anger. "Now you can give your full attention to my Ojigi Plant eating you alive. It is a native of South America-"

Yoko continued with his Herbology lecture as Snoop wondered, "A plant... Can you smoke it?"

"Perhaps a mere human such as yourself has heard of the Mimosa Plant, which retracts when exposed to heat or touch," Yoko Kurama continued, "The Ojigi Plant does the opposite- it seeks out heat and crushes it to death. How does that sound, Snoop Dogg?"

"Sounds dope to me."

Suddenly barbed vines sprung from the floor of the arena, breaking the rocks. Snoop Dogg acted quickly, activating his Yeezy Heelies and moving to the other side of the arena. Snoop glanced at the Ojigi plant.

"So is this your Otherworldly Kush?" Snoop Dogg asked boldly.

Snoop Dogg always kept spare lighters in his pockets. Knowing the plant would be attracted to heat, he threw the lighters in the air. "Smoke this you lil Predator vs. Alien ass plant! Lighters Up, dog!"

"Unbelievable! Snoop Dogg has distracted the Ojigi plant! What will it do?"

The Ojigi plant heads chomped down on Snoop's lighters triumphantly while Yoko Kurama raised his eyebrows in alarm.

"My versus your , let's see who win," Snoop Dogg rubbed his hands together. "When I say I'm gonna smoke something, you bet your ass it gonna happen."

For the first time in his life, Yoko Kurama felt a surge of fear. The Ojigi plant heads exploded and Snoop Dogg whipped out his rolling papers. He collected the Ojigi plant particles and rolled himself a joint thicker than Hisoka Hunter x Hunter.

"It's over Yoko Kurama."

"That smell," Hiei felt his flight and fight instincts activating. "It is the most putrid smell I have ever encountered aside from Kuwabara's..."

"Everyone stay calm!" Koto said. "Breathing masks will be supplied to all audience members in due time! Someone turn on ventilation!"

Trapped in the haze, Yoko Kurama felt a strange sensation throughout his body. The more he coughed, the more of the smoke he breathed in. He felt his consciousness swirl and his eyes grow red and weary. "I'm sorry Shuichi," Yoko said, starting to see rainbows. "Our time is up."

"This is some strong ass shit," Snoop Dogg remarked, submerged in the smoke which was his perpetual state. "This demon kush don't mess around. Maybe I should get a house down there. Hey KuMama what was this shit?"

Yoko Kurama's hair went from white to red as Kurama resurfaced.

"It's-" Kurama began to respond but his thoughts failed him. The fumes of the smoke weren't lethal, but had a bizarre effect on him. He couldn't remember what plant he used at all and his eyes felt horrifically dry. "It's- honestly, don't worry about it man," Kurama said slowly.

"Did Kurama just say 'don't worry about it man?'" Yusuke said, extremely worried. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

Hiei was gripping the sides of his seat. "I refuse to believe that is Kurama! Something must have happened in the smoke and he's been replaced with a fake!"

"Hey man," Snoop Dogg said alarmed. "Yo you telling me he never tried to smoke your plants before? Yo someone get this man some water!"

Kurama smiled to himself and then promptly laid down on the ground. He simply wanted to relax. Kuwabara's sister could not repress laughter.

The whole Dark Tournament was really such a silly concept to Kurama in this state. He felt like he was attending one of those anime conventions, frequented by the nerds at his school. Everyone was dressed wildly and overreacting.

"Kurama's still conscious, but he's lying down?"

"I have no idea what that smoke did to Kurama, but Snoop Dogg is still standing! He's bagging the remains of the Ojigi plant!" Koto announced. "Is Kurama still able to fight? He won't talk to us, but if he doesn't get up in 10 seconds.."

Yusuke punched the air angrily. "KURAMA!"

Kurama looked at Yusuke, the whites of his eyes as red as his hair. Yusuke's eyes were intense. "I don't know what's gotten into you Kurama but the Kurama I know would get up! TELL US WHAT YOU WANT!"

"Some snacks, Yusuke," Kurama answered honestly. "I am feeling quite peckish."

Snoop Dogg rustled through his pockets and tossed Kurama a bag of Sun Chips. "You got the munchies little man," Snoop said, wisely. "You fought well homie. That was some sick shit you pulled back there."

Kurama was too lazy to reach for the bag so Snoop put it in his hand.

"I can't stand watching this anymore!" Hiei shouted, louder than the countdown to Kurama's defeat.

He climbed into the arena and walked to Kurama. Kurama's perception was warped. "KURAMA!" Hiei shouted.

Kurama giggled. "Ah! Is this a cat!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara's hearts dropped.

Immediately Hiei began to viciously attack Kurama. "Stop cat," Kurama swatted Hiei's sharp nails away. "I am trying to simply 'chill' here and enjoy the 'vibes'!"

Kurama had no idea how these words came to him. "Kurama, does this mean you surrender?" asked the referee.

Kurama nodded his head dismissively, struggling to find the words to say. "Win or lose, none of it matters. What matters is how we feel... in our hearts," Kurama made a peace sign before passing out.

"I can't believe it, but Snoop Dogg wins!"

"In Dogg we trust!" Snoop dabbed.

And so Snoop Dogg defeated Yoko Kurama in perhaps the most Dank Tournament of all time. Hiei was restrained by Kuwabara and Yusuke from further attacking Kurama who was higher than Heaven's Arena. Kurama studied what had happened to him decided he would never let it happen again.

Snoop Dogg eventually came back to our world with his memory wiped. He hitched a ride back with Yusuke and Kuwabara, and ended up teaching Yusuke how to fight better. He promised Kuwabara he would introduce him to his good friend Martha Stewart. The End. Why did I write this.