Helpful phrases that can help you help grievers:

“How can I best support you today?”
“Tell me about your loved one.”

Even if they don’t respond? Regular, predictable, contact & connection. Even without words. Show them you aren’t afraid. And then show up. Again and again.

Helpful for grievers?

Physical activity. When you can.
Nature. When you can.
Connection. When you can.
Rest. When you can.
Therapy/meds. When needed.

Asking for help and being gentle with yourself. All the time.

Let’s make a list below so folks can expand their grief support tool kit.

Lets talk about the ugly underbelly of grief now, stuff no one tells you.

1). As someone said earlier- crying is dehydrating. Drink water.
2). It never goes away.
3). People will leave. Grief lasts longer than empathy.

You’re still gonna make it. Ok? And it’s not your fault.

4) It’s isolating. Almost feels like two different worlds: regular people and then you.
5). The world is not designed for grievers. So you have to improvise.
6). It will be harder than you ever imagined.

BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT. We’re out here. Cheering you on.

lastly,

1). Supporters: despite our best advice- the person you are supporting is the expert in their grief. Follow their lead.
2). Grievers: just because you haven’t found meaningful support yet- doesn’t make you unworthy of it.

You are SO freaking worthy of it. Keep going.