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1/Good morning everyone! Here is a thread about December! And Jews and Christians and what's religious and what's secular. Because it's only 12/2 and I am already tired of the disdain and presuppositions I've seen. So, off to the races we go:
2/A little background:
My dad's a Jew. My mom's a Quaker. I was raised religiously Jewish and culturally with a mix of Judaism and Christianity. If you wanna know more deets, listen to this episode of my podcast. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SloeIHFwimMcXAkYGRF2n?si=mZUOdJBFSty96BO5PWDydA
My dad's a Jew. My mom's a Quaker. I was raised religiously Jewish and culturally with a mix of Judaism and Christianity. If you wanna know more deets, listen to this episode of my podcast. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SloeIHFwimMcXAkYGRF2n?si=mZUOdJBFSty96BO5PWDydA
3/Being raised this way meant that, YES, I am a RABBI who grew up with a CHRISTMAS TREE. And, somehow, the world does not seem to have imploded!
We can find in Talmud and in all manner of other texts lots of words from lots of rabbis saying that this kinda practice isn't ok.
We can find in Talmud and in all manner of other texts lots of words from lots of rabbis saying that this kinda practice isn't ok.
4/We can also find in Talmud and in all manner of other texts lots of words from lots of rabbis saying that all kinds of practices common in the liberal Jewish world aren't ok. For example:
-wearing mixing fabrics
-buying wine touched by a non-Jew
-counting women in a minyan
-wearing mixing fabrics
-buying wine touched by a non-Jew
-counting women in a minyan
5/I don't actually want to make this about legalities though. I want to make it about kavod-- respect.
Every December, or really beginning in November, the comments begin: Too Much Christmas.
And yes! Christian Hegemony is a *very real thing in this country.*
Every December, or really beginning in November, the comments begin: Too Much Christmas.
And yes! Christian Hegemony is a *very real thing in this country.*
6/ Folks who don't want to SHOULDN'T be inundated with Christmas music and trees and green and red every time they leave their home. It's annoying at best.
AND-- there is a difference between societally-induced Christmas cheer and the choices that Jewish/Jew(ish) fams make.
AND-- there is a difference between societally-induced Christmas cheer and the choices that Jewish/Jew(ish) fams make.
7/ Remember-- over 70% of non-Orthodox Jews are now partnering with folks who aren't Jewish. And that number doesn't account for all the Jews by Choice for whom Christmas may have mattered, or for whose parents/families Christmas still matters.
8/ When I was a kid, I knew tons of kids like me with 1 Jewish parent and 1 Christian parent. Most of us had a Christmas tree. Most of us sang Christmas carols. Most of us understood that these were things we did for family and not for faith.
9/ And yeah-- I get it-- for folks who grew up in purely Jewish homes, that distinction might seem artificial or impossible. But it's a distinction that I grew up with and that *always* made sense to me. Even now, I love Christmas music. I do!
10/ I don't listen to it because I believe that Jesus was the son of God. I listen to it because it makes me think of happy memories with my family when I was a child. And sure, maybe that seems nuts-- for a rabbi, raised Jewish, to have happy memories of silent night.
11/But the one sure thing about our world is that it ain't simple: not for Jews raised by 2 Jewish parents, not for kids like me raised Jewish by a Jew and a Christian, and not for any of the huge number of our mixed multitude who have family who aren't Jewish
12/ So let's get back to respect.
When I see and hear comments from Jews that disparage Jews like me, it makes me feel far less tied to my religious community. It puts me, and every Jew like me, on the outside during a time when we want to be on the inside.
When I see and hear comments from Jews that disparage Jews like me, it makes me feel far less tied to my religious community. It puts me, and every Jew like me, on the outside during a time when we want to be on the inside.
13/ It used to make me afraid to share about who I am and what December looks like in my home.
At this point, hey, I'm a rabbi and I am who I am and I'm gonna be open about it all-- but a lot of Jews still won't be.
At this point, hey, I'm a rabbi and I am who I am and I'm gonna be open about it all-- but a lot of Jews still won't be.
14/That's where we need to grow as a community. How can we lean into practices that we don't understand with curiosity? I'm asked to do this all the time with communities more halakhically religious than I am. I don't take on every practice I learn about, but I do try to learn.
15/That's all any of us *can* do, right? We can't necessarily understand the experiences of folks raised really differently from us-- even if we're all in the largest definition of the Jewish tent. But we don't have to say terrible things about each other.
16/Look-- Hanukkah is a holiday about light-- and unexpected light, at that. Sure, the whole "8 days" thing probably didn't happen. But that's the story we've carried forward for generations on end and that makes this story sacred.
17/Jesus probably wasn't born in December either-- but that's when the Christians stuck Christmas 'cause, like I said in a tweet the other day, It's Dark Out There. We need to celebrate light. Literal light, in our case.
18/So here's what I ask:
Sometime this season, some Jew-- that you know personally or virtually-- is going to share something about December holidays that's different from your own practice. You might not like it. You might not understand it. Can you shine light on it?
Sometime this season, some Jew-- that you know personally or virtually-- is going to share something about December holidays that's different from your own practice. You might not like it. You might not understand it. Can you shine light on it?
19/Can you try to understand it a little better? Can you ask a question of curiosity? Can you take a breath before you mutter about Christmas taking over everything?
Our people has always toed a delicate line between assimilation and particularism. We always will. That's ok.
Our people has always toed a delicate line between assimilation and particularism. We always will. That's ok.
20/I'm not asking you all to listen to a single Christmas carol or invite a single pine branch into your homes if that's not your practice.
I'm just asking you to let the light shine on Jews who are juggling this season.
We're all doing our best. We all deserve respect
I'm just asking you to let the light shine on Jews who are juggling this season.
We're all doing our best. We all deserve respect
