It's #WorldSuicidePreventionDay , I flirted with the idea of killing myself for decades, slashed my wrist when I was 15, was going to jump in the Clyde when I was 29, was suicidal when my son was 2, finally decided enough was enough and sorted myself out.

Look after yourself!

Still got to keep an eye on my mind, obviously, but much better than I was before.

My situation might not be the same as yours, but I'll tell you this, I thought there was no help for me, no way out, it's just the way I was, just something I had to put up with, it's what made me me, etc.

It's possible to feel better in an almost permanent sort of way.

I'm not going to tell you that life is amazing and wonderful and beautiful, cos it can be FUCKING SHITE and BORING and ANNOYING and UPSETTING and LONELY.

BUT!

It's possible to have a laugh somewhere in amongst that, ha hah aha.

I "sorted myself out" by going to the doctor and saying that I felt suicidal. He offered me the antidepressant citalopram and details of mental health places. You might disagree with doctors dishing out pills, and they're not for everyone, but they worked a treat for me.

I no longer woke up with a big fucking sigh at another shite fucking day, I woke up feeling tip top and in good spirits. I didn't feel glum or pessimistic or fed up or have that feeling of pointlessness and everything being fucking drudgery. I felt good.

I was worried that it was going to affect my ability to make things or care, but that was the summer I did most of my Vines, so it didn't affect me in that way. There were other side effects, though, which you can look into. For example, a minimum of 18 minutes for a wank.

I had a fucking fantastic time, I really did. I didn't care if it was through pills or not, it felt good and normal and I was actually fucking enjoying my life, I was loving being alive.

They stopped working now and then, and I didn't like that inconsistency, so I came off them.

I tried to live and think the same way I did on pills. I tried to let things wash over me a bit more, not hold grudges, not think about what I should have said or done, not get angry for no reason, not have repetitive negative thoughts.

Meditation really helped to give me a good start to the day, and to practise leaving thoughts behind.

I cannae be fucked meditating anymore, cos that's the sort of stupid cunt I am, but I generally keep an eye on myself.

You're maybe wondering if you need help or not, if something is mentally wrong or if you're actually just at an annoying or boring part of your life, but don't let anycunt else tell you you're fine if you don't feel it. You know yourself.

So that's that.