1/ Was interviewed by @crunchbasenews about "Loneliness in Tech", check out the article below.

The long interview I did was reduced to a few soundbites, so here's my more nuanced take in a Tweetstorm: https://news.crunchbase.com/news/loneliness-in-tech-how-founders-find-solace-in-solitude/

2/ Loneliness is a symptom, not the underlying problem.

A symptom-focused approached to psychological suffering is a band-aid at best and exacerbates the problem at worst.

The underlying problem is a lack of deep and meaningful relationships in a hyper-individualistic society.

3/ We as human-beings are inherently social creatures, and are used to operating within cooperative circles of extended family, groups/gangs, villages/tribes, etc.

In modern societies, this has been largely destroyed in favor of the individual, nuclear family, & nation-staet.

4/ This is exacerbated by parents who are often away at work & often divorce, leaving children without parents for the better part of the day or even lives.

If these children become upwardly mobile, they repeatedly move to optimize economics at the expense of stable social ties.

4/ Thus, you have the state of modern man: surrounded by fellow travelers in large cities or suburbs, but does not feel truly cared for by anyone & feels incredibly alone.

Psychologists found that it's PERCIEVED loneliness, not the # in your network, that predicts poor health.

5/ That's why "networking" is often futile. My contrarian take is that "connecting" to many folks via social media is actually an avoidance of loneliness.

It makes you feel connected in the short-term but rarely leads to deep or long-term connection, unless it transfers offline.

6/ That's why I don't "treat" loneliness or any negative feeling per se, I would argue that's contraindicated since it makes the problem worse.

The dialectic is to be able to tolerate loneliness in the short-term, while listening to it, and using it to move towards your values.

7/ Almost everyone has a value around relationships. It's key to clarify what that is & to get into emotional contact with it. So you feel it right in your gut.

It may be bittersweet since you don't have it and feel like you're missing out.

GOOD. That's fodder for motivation.

8/ Once you're clear and connected about what's important to you, and you feel either bittersweet or moved to do something about it, then you begin the slow, hard, work of building rich and fulfilling relationships.

No shortcuts. Takes hundreds of hours: https://twitter.com/DrSepah/status/980633778266632192?s=20

9/ The good news is that you don't need that many close relationships. Outside of family/colleagues, 1 partner & 3-6 close friends is the average.

You only need a handful of friends. Better to have 1 who is 'ride or die' than dozen of superficial ones. https://twitter.com/DrSepah/status/975776470155984896?s=20

10/ Beyond peer relationships, we can also serve others in our communities. We all, especially older adults, must play our natural roles as stewards, blessing and guiding the next generation.

Thus, the best 'cure' for loneliness is living meaningfully. https://twitter.com/DrSepah/status/1042536702084935681?s=20

#ACTBetter

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