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#THREAD:
I have a former student named Stan*. I’ve been sharing his commentary on Facebook for 3 years. Folks think he’s funny.
In honor of his recent graduation, I’m going to start positing the stories here. Here’s our very first interaction, 3 years ago. 
I have a former student named Stan*. I’ve been sharing his commentary on Facebook for 3 years. Folks think he’s funny.
In honor of his recent graduation, I’m going to start positing the stories here. Here’s our very first interaction, 3 years ago.
Stan: Ms. Buddington, you like your hair like that?
Me: Yes...why?
Stan: *walks around me, looking at my head*
Me: *confused*
(Exhibit A: 2016 Hair)
Me: Yes...why?
Stan: *walks around me, looking at my head*
Me: *confused*
(Exhibit A:
2016 Hair)
Stan: *goes into his notebook, scrawls something, rips a paper out and hands it to me, with a number on it*
Me: What is this?
*still confused*
Me: What is this?
*still confused*
Stan: I want you to see my barber. It's time for a shape up.
.
.
.
.
Me: What?!
Stan: See...a shape up is when you...
Me: I know what a shape up is. Sit down!
Stan: *walking back to his seat, mumbling* I'm just saying. He'll line you up right.
.
.
.
.
Me: What?!
Stan: See...a shape up is when you...
Me: I know what a shape up is. Sit down!
Stan: *walking back to his seat, mumbling* I'm just saying. He'll line you up right.
During winter break of that year...Stan lost his class text. It’s the second time...
Stan: Ms. Buddington, I lost my book. Can you scan and email the chapters to me?
*looks at email incredulously, this child wants me to scan thirteen chapters*
Stan: Ms. Buddington, I lost my book. Can you scan and email the chapters to me?
*looks at email incredulously, this child wants me to scan thirteen chapters*
Me: No, Stan. This is the second time you've lost the book. You can ask your mom or dad to pick it up or you can see me after-school, when we get back, to make up the assignment.
Stan: Wow. Ms. Buddington, you're not married and the holiday is over. You have time.
Me:
Stan: Wow. Ms. Buddington, you're not married and the holiday is over. You have time.
Me:
Then there was MLK Day and the time he did the quote assignment but didn’t do the quote assignment, at the same time.
#schoolshouldnevergavethememail
#schoolshouldnevergavethememail
& then there was that time a student used a word incorrectly.
Student: I need to detonate my mom.
Stan: Detonate?
Student: Yes.
Stan: I don't think you're using the word right. Ms. Buddington, what does detonate mean?
Student: I need to detonate my mom.
Stan: Detonate?
Student: Yes.
Stan: I don't think you're using the word right. Ms. Buddington, what does detonate mean?
Me: To explode.
Stan: See?!
Student: Be quiet, Stan!
(It was a family tree assignment. He meant interrogate.)
Stan: See?!
Student: Be quiet, Stan!
(It was a family tree assignment. He meant interrogate.)
Stan: I’m just trying to help YOU out.
_____________________
That same student decided to argue with another teacher. Stan did not like this.
Student *storming out*: I don't care what you do! Call my mother!
Stan: We can't! You detonated her, remember?!
#icant
_____________________
That same student decided to argue with another teacher. Stan did not like this.
Student *storming out*: I don't care what you do! Call my mother!
Stan: We can't! You detonated her, remember?!
#icant
