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In honour of my impending 21st 'Sober-thday' (sorry 
), in 10 days time, and following the reaction to previous tweets about this, I am going to list 1 thing each day which I have learned, gained or discovered from my sobriety and the variable challenge of maintaining it.
), in 10 days time, and following the reaction to previous tweets about this, I am going to list 1 thing each day which I have learned, gained or discovered from my sobriety and the variable challenge of maintaining it.
10- The power of apology.
We can never undo what is done, unmake a mistake or unbreak what is broken. It is easy to assume that 'sorry' is an adequate apology. A true apology requires reflection, admission and action.
Don't just say sorry, *be* sorry. Show it in your actions.
We can never undo what is done, unmake a mistake or unbreak what is broken. It is easy to assume that 'sorry' is an adequate apology. A true apology requires reflection, admission and action.
Don't just say sorry, *be* sorry. Show it in your actions.
9 - Addiction is transformative.
The person who enters the addiction is not the one who emerges from it. The pupation of addiction fundamentally changes who you are.
As the caterpillar must weave its own cocoon, so must the butterfly emerge from it unaided. It cannot be forced.
The person who enters the addiction is not the one who emerges from it. The pupation of addiction fundamentally changes who you are.
As the caterpillar must weave its own cocoon, so must the butterfly emerge from it unaided. It cannot be forced.
8 - Know when to walk away.
Those who enable your addiction but obstruct your recovery, however well-meaning they may be, are not the wind in your sails, they are the anchor that holds you in place. Sometimes we have to cut the chain to start the journey - and the sea is rough.
Those who enable your addiction but obstruct your recovery, however well-meaning they may be, are not the wind in your sails, they are the anchor that holds you in place. Sometimes we have to cut the chain to start the journey - and the sea is rough.
7 - Acknowledge every success.
If you kick yourself when you fail and ignore your successes, you are training yourself to focus on failure. When you reach the top of the hill, pause, reflect & smile. When you look up, you'll see another, bigger hill ahead. You can climb that too.
If you kick yourself when you fail and ignore your successes, you are training yourself to focus on failure. When you reach the top of the hill, pause, reflect & smile. When you look up, you'll see another, bigger hill ahead. You can climb that too.
6 - Tidy your toolbox.
Addiction teaches you many skills - not all of them are positive. You throw these tools into the disorganised toolbox of your psyche. Recovery is your chance to organise these tools, discard those you don't need and use what is left in a positive manner.
Addiction teaches you many skills - not all of them are positive. You throw these tools into the disorganised toolbox of your psyche. Recovery is your chance to organise these tools, discard those you don't need and use what is left in a positive manner.
5- Boredom is fertiliser
Keeping yourself occupied is important because boredom is fertile ground for old habits to regrow. Find a hobby, be passionate about something, give out to others what you would like for yourself. Much later, that boredom is space to reflect, but not yet.
Keeping yourself occupied is important because boredom is fertile ground for old habits to regrow. Find a hobby, be passionate about something, give out to others what you would like for yourself. Much later, that boredom is space to reflect, but not yet.
4- It's all about you...
...apart from when it isn't. Only you can maintain your recovery, but letting others in, sharing your experiences with them and being open to their responses means you aren't recovering in a bubble. Those around you need to understand your intentions.
...apart from when it isn't. Only you can maintain your recovery, but letting others in, sharing your experiences with them and being open to their responses means you aren't recovering in a bubble. Those around you need to understand your intentions.
3- The irritability factor
At various stages in your recovery, you will find the most trivial things enraging. You will be irritated by loved ones trying to help you. This is not their fault, nor yours, it is simply a consequence of the battle inside you. Communication is key.
At various stages in your recovery, you will find the most trivial things enraging. You will be irritated by loved ones trying to help you. This is not their fault, nor yours, it is simply a consequence of the battle inside you. Communication is key.
2- The truth has to be out there
The people who support you need support too. Don't ask them to keep your recovery a secret, allow them freedom to speak. It doesn't need to be broadcast, but honest interaction matters.
A recovery built on dishonesty is a skyscraper on the sand.
The people who support you need support too. Don't ask them to keep your recovery a secret, allow them freedom to speak. It doesn't need to be broadcast, but honest interaction matters.
A recovery built on dishonesty is a skyscraper on the sand.
1- It starts now.
Today is the first day of your recovery. So is tomorrow. Tomorrow you will have one more day of experience to fall back on, but there is no narrative arc unless you build it.
Start. Continue. Repeat.
Thrive.
Learn.
Love.
Live.
What else can you do?
You matter.
Today is the first day of your recovery. So is tomorrow. Tomorrow you will have one more day of experience to fall back on, but there is no narrative arc unless you build it.
Start. Continue. Repeat.
Thrive.
Learn.
Love.
Live.
What else can you do?
You matter.
