Thread by @JohnOhOfSydney, Being a male full service sex worker is like walking a tightrope.We [...]

Being a male full service sex worker is like walking a tightrope.

We have to perform. The job is *all about* performance at its heart. Yes we have to be able to talk and put our client at ease and entertain and a dozen other important things. 1/

But somewhere during the booking we are going to have to have sex - the sex that our client wants.

It might be short and sweet. It might be hard and fast. It might be long and slow. It might be a combination of those things. 2/

And it's not about us. It's about our client and what they want/need. 3/

Here's the problem: male full service sex workers are human. This means that we have certain abilities and limitations that may change from day to day, week to week, year to year. But that doesn't change what our clients want/need. 4/

So, regardless of how we find ourselves (tired, easily aroused, energetic, stressed, sad, happy etc) we still have to be able to:

* Get hard
* Stay hard
* Fuck as desired

5/

* AND climax (yes that's a requirement of the service and if we can't do it then our client may be very disappointed and even hurt) 6/

And all that - you have to be able to do it with everyone we meet. Every time.

But we are human beings. We aren't walking dildos. 7/

Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we can't stay hard - because condoms, or being tired, or just because. Viagra helps with that, making it easier to *maintain* an erection once you have one. 8/

But it doesn't give you an erection in the first place, for that you have to find the thing that lets your arousal flow. And it doesn't delay or advance your orgasm. 9/

Now imagine having to do that while dealing with a crisis in your life. Or losing a friend or family member. Or being harassed or stalked. Or being stressed about money, or your relationship. 10/

Not so easy to feel sexy, but if you want to be a male full service sex worker, then you have to be able to perform anyway. It's what we are there for. It's what our clients are paying us for. It's what we have to deliver. 11/

Sometimes we have the opposite problem. Sometimes the connection with a client is too strong. It's hard to damp the arousal. It's hard to last long enough. 12/

This is its own kind of problem and possible disappointment for our client. Condoms help with this as they reduce the intensity of the sensation of sex. 13/

But sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes we are really aroused - because we are human beings, not walking dildos. And this can lead to disappointment. But I know - it's our job! We are being paid to perform.

Sadly, it's not always possible, even when we try our best. 14/

And that's the point where having a functional relationship with our clients matters - being able to discuss the situation like adults and find a solution.

My solution has been two fold:

15/

1. Offer my clients a money back guarantee - something consumer law requires of me as a business regardless
2. Don't take payment until after the booking and if a client seems unsatisfied then we can talk about it and decide if a discount or no payment is appropriate

16/

A handful of times over my nine years as a full service sex worker I made good on that offer. Each time I did so happily, preferring to relieve the disappointment than to take the money. 17/

Another complicating factor is - if we are lucky enough to have a relationship outside of our work - that we have to be able switch from one context - having (probably) unprotected sex with our partner, to having protected sex with our clients. 18/

It's not as easy as you might think. Sure, just roll on a condom - but then you have to be able to maintain an erection with less stimulation than you are used to with your partner. 19/

And conversely when you go home to your partner, then you have to be able to last long enough with the extra stimulation of unprotected sex.

This isn't an easy thing to do. It takes significant mental discipline - and it won't always be completely successful. 20/

So, as a male full service sex worker, we are being pulled in different directions, under a wide array of pressures - and we still have to perform. 21/

I'm not looking for pity *or* a pat on the back - I'm fine and so is my business. But I do think that it's important that people understand the challenges that we face specifically as male full service sex workers every single time we go to work. 22/

And perhaps if you are planning on hiring one of us, then this may help you set your expectations appropriately and negotiate any disappointment that you may encounter with penetrative sex. 23/23

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