Rocket science is easy. Get a load of fuel, put it in a tube, retire to a safe distance and never, ever try to pull away in reverse gear.

Hill starts are tricky if you're not used to driving stick...

When you're ready Mr Wilson, please pull away normally.

*beat*

I'm afraid I'll have to stop the test there, Mr Wilson.

"When I say, I want you to perform an emergency stop."

*beat*

"Now."

"I'd like you to pull up alongside that car, and then reverse into the space behind it, please."

*beat*

"I think we'll stop the test there, Mr Smith."

"A bit more gas. No, more gas than that. No, that's the clutch..."

"When it's safe to do so, I'd like you to turn the vehicle around in the road, please."

* beat*

"I think I noticed you clip the kerb there..."

"When you're ready, I'd like you to turn the vehicle around, and then pull up safely to a stop"

*beat*

"I think you maybe wanted to use your mirrors a little more there."

"You've left the fog lights, on Mr Smith. Just push the button there, no, the one to the side, no, not that one..."

*beat*

"I think we'll end the lesson there, Mr Smith."