The Case for Brexit is like a vast labyrinth of logically interconnected passages. Each passageway contains a point, a fact, a quote, or something else supporting the argument against EU membership. /1

For those people in it, the labyrinth makes sense; the argument ‘holds together’. Further exploration begets more understanding of its logic. Something quite small may have first drawn you in here, but you may go deeper, mastering each point in every byway, twist and turn. /2

In one passageway, there is an old wooden door. This leads to a different (harder) level in the labyrinth. No longer about interconnected arguments *against* EU membership, but instead to the very secret of *how* to leave. /3

Only a few dozen people have dared pass through the door although many others linger around it, waiting to hear from the more adventurous when they return. Over the years, many returners from this level’s darkest recesses have talked of ‘EFTA’ and ‘EEA’. /4

The ‘how’ level is deep and dark, yet is also thought to contain mind-bending stuff. It has sent several truth-seekers slightly mad. The farther one ventures into it, the closer one gets to the secret of HOW. /5

You go though the door, and years later you reach the inner sanctum of this level. There in a corner is a huge chest labelled “Northern Ireland”. No one in the labyrinth has reached this far before. /6

On opening the chest, you are presented with lots of technology – ANPR cameras, RFID chips, and specialist mobile patrols. This seems to be the final piece of the HOW puzzle.
You are triumphant. You have cracked the code. So can we finally leave the EU for sunlit uplands? /7

Not so fast. When you remove the bits of technology from the chest, there, written on the bottom of the chest are the following words: “None of this technology works. There is no secret. None of the labyrinth works either. You’ve made a mistake. RUN.” /8

At which point you are totally lost: “You mean the WHOLE labyrinth is a con? But it made sense! Everyone I spoke to thought it made sense!”
Then a booming voice from somewhere says: “But everyone you spoke to was also in the labyrinth…” /9

Ashen-faced, you step back.
“So you’re saying this whole thing turns on NORTHERN IRELAND??”
“Yes”, comes the booming voice.
“But hardly anyone talked about it! Where were the clues??!”
“Oh they were there”, says the voice, “you just ignored them.” /10

At which point a door opens in the wall of the inner sanctum and fresh air rushes in.
“This” says the booming voice, “is your chance to exit to reality.”
“You mean like the guy in the Truman Show”, you say, crushed.
“Exactly”, says the voice.
And you step through the door. /11

Breathing in the air outside, you ponder.
“So this is Remain”.
“Oh God No!” says the voice, “that’s to your left.”
Glancing left, you see a door in the hillside.
“What’s that?” you ask.
“Well” says the voice, “it’s the entry to a vast labyrinth and it works like this….”
/ENDS

(Well it was a bit of fun writing it.)