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Abled people really make so many assumptions about disability and then use it to police who's "really" disabled.
The majority of wheelchair users are not paralysed. Many can stand and walk in some situations.
The majority of blind and deaf people have residual vision/hearing.
The majority of wheelchair users are not paralysed. Many can stand and walk in some situations.
The majority of blind and deaf people have residual vision/hearing.
You don't even have to stand up or walk as a wheelchair user to be policed as faking: some of us get it for simply moving a leg while in our chairs.
Similarly people don't understand when some blind people can still read things on a phone or deaf people listen to music.
Similarly people don't understand when some blind people can still read things on a phone or deaf people listen to music.
The thing is, if abled people actually listened to disabled people, then they would know these things. Instead they think in absolutes and you must tick off a list of criteria determined by them as to whether you're "really disabled".
It's made even more frustrating that they make our they're policing "fakers" to help us. It doesn't help us, least of all because you're almost certainly harassing a disabled person that doesn't fit your ignorant idea of that disability, rather than catching a "faker".
It harms all of us, it makes us afraid to use aids in public, it makes many of us afraid to even *be* in public.
Sometimes as well the case is that they have a friend or relative with a similar disability as they're policing, and they decide if you're not 100% exactly the same as that friend, you're faking.
Autistic people get that one a lot.
I've spoken about a lot of this many times, how policing is not at all helpful and is actually harmful. How there may be a few fakers out there but the numbers are exaggerated. How disabled people do not want you to police people to spot "fakers".
For many of us, it makes us reluctant to embrace the labels and communities we're part of (I'm going through this rn regarding my hearing) because we don't feel "X enough". It makes us reluctant to obtain aids that actually help us.
People have been told again and again that it harms us and yet ableds want to put their superhero cape on for the day and pretend they're helping us.
Yes, I *know* not all of them have malicious intent but frankly, intent doesn't mitigate the harm caused and in such cases, it may make it harder to tell that person they're harming you. And many of them then become aggressive and malicious upon confrontation anyway.
I think a lot of it comes down to the infantilisation of disabled people: abled people assume on whatever level that we don't actually know what's best for us and that they somehow know better than our own lived experience.
This is connected to them "helping" us without asking, which, asides from being a breach of basic consent, also can cause injury as well as being a traumatic experience for many of us.
And again, sometimes even when people do ask, they won't take no for an answer, because they have, on whatever level, decided that we don't know what's best for ourselves, that we are refusing out of pride or shyness or something.
(And if sometimes we are, that still doesn't entitle you to do things to a person and/or their aids without consent. Our reason for refusing is actually none of your business.)
You're just... not actually doing us any good. Please *listen* to disabled people.
I honestly believe many abled people aren't there to actually help a disabled person, but to do their "good deed" for the day and feel good about *themselves". This shows when we refuse and they get very aggressive.
They've done a good thing by just asking but for some reason many of them feel they must do the actual deed to... well, idk what, get "credit" for being a good person or something.
And again it can come back to then policing: if they don't need my help, are they "really" disabled?
Abled people just expect us to fit very rigid stereotypes. And I think part of the reason they're so intent on enforcing those stereotypes is that they think we get "rewarded" for being disabled, whether that's benefits, access, or whatever.
Which... I don't really know where to start with that one.
For one, none of us on benefits are sitting on piles of money. It always works out a lot less than minimum wage.
And equal access is hardly a "reward". Again, like with all marginalised groups, the oppressor group doesn't seem to realise they're already ahead and that any actions taken is about closing that gap, not putting us ahead.
Anyway, again I'm not going in any coherent order with this, we're just very frustrated.
Many of us disabled people have lifetimes of experience with our conditions. We have tips and tricks and ways round tasks or our own ways of doing tasks (however slow and awkward they may seem).
And not needing help (or not wanting to accept help from strangers is a totally different thing from not needing help ever in that task) doesn't mean we're faking our disabilities or whatever.
And as many of us have pointed out time and time again, we would actually prefer a few fakers get away with using accessible facilities occasionally rather than abled people to think they are in a position to police who's "genuinely disabled".
I'll probably be going in circles as usual if I continue, but just...
Take-away points:
1) Most wheelchair users are not paralysed. Many of us can move our legs, stand and also walk in certain situations.
2) Not all wheelchair users are permanent wheelchair users. They may use various aids as and when they need them as their pain etc. fluctuates.
1) Most wheelchair users are not paralysed. Many of us can move our legs, stand and also walk in certain situations.
2) Not all wheelchair users are permanent wheelchair users. They may use various aids as and when they need them as their pain etc. fluctuates.
3) Only a small minority of deaf have absolutely zero hearing remaining. Some deaf/HoH people can listen to music, use the phone in certain situations, hear noises.
** deaf people
4) Similarly, only a small minority of blind people have absolutely no vision. Some blind people can still read certain things and use their phones visually as well as with Siri etc. Some can still recognise people by sight
5) Autistic people can vary extremely. Some are non-verbal all the time, some are generally verbal and yet have periods where they are non-verbal. Some have learning disabilities while others don't.
Just listen to disabled people, that's it, really. Realise that even people with the same disability are often going to differ, especially from that "one X friend" you know.
Stop policing us and instead regard that not only do disabilities differ between people, they can also fluctuate in the same person at different times. Moreover, what you think you're seeing is often not as simple as that.
We're just tired of repeating ourselves over and over again about a lot of this.
Caveats: I've mainly mentioned using wheelchairs, blind people, deaf people, autistic people. I am a wheelchair user myself, I am autistic, as mentioned I am HoH (but not deaf) but kind of in that iffy place right now regarding identity and community.
I do have visual issues but am not partially sighted/blind and I am talking about some of the differences in ability (i.e. some can read, others can't) based on the many people I meet through the vision support service. Please defer to actual blind people in general on this
If you want to know more about more specific disabilities, listen to and read from people who actually have those conditions. Remember that one does not represent all and that even the same conditions can present quite differently in different people.
Thank you for reading, I hope I've written clearly. Please avoid the temptation to come in with "not all abled people" or explain about abled friends and relatives doing good deeds, please.
H/T to @BlondeHistorian whose recent tweets inspired some of this.
I keep forgetting to keep track of my threads but here a few more that touch on similar areas.
About the straw ban and selective policing of aids and disabilities https://twitter.com/soul_into_hades/status/1023249939097374720
About the straw ban and selective policing of aids and disabilities https://twitter.com/soul_into_hades/status/1023249939097374720
Policing service teams and disabilities in general https://twitter.com/soul_into_hades/status/897161868816654340
Just popping back in to say that although I haven't explicitly mentioned mental illness and others, a lot of this still applies. I don't know that there's any form of disability that won't be policed by non-disabled people.
If anyone is so inclined: https://twitter.com/soul_into_hades/status/953447487561519104
