A topic that *really* needs revisiting is attractiveness, specifically self-perception vs societal perception of our own attractiveness.

It’s no mystery that our attractiveness & desirability are largely tied to our ‘worth’.

How society reads us greatly shapes the opportunities we’re given, how we’re treated, etc.

And I want to say that body dysmorphia, insecurities, and all that are valid & can drastically shape how we see ourselves.

*BUT* they’re not the same as societal perception of our attractiveness.

E.g. I don’t think I’m attractive at all. When ppl compliment me a voice screams in my head they’re lying or being polite.

*However*, I’m aware (esp as I get fitter) that I’m socialized as more attractive. How I feel about myself doesn’t negate how society reads/treats me.

I’ve had to work *a lot* on battling confirmation bias.

I might read someone not being interested in me as me not being attractive, when there’re *thousands* of other potential reasons that might have *nothing* to do with me

‘Cause at the end of the day I’m not fat, disfigured, or anything else society deems appalling (I’ve got hella disabilities, but they’re not super visible).

So although how I feel about my body’s real, it’s also *not* the same as how society sees/treats me.

All of that’s to say our feelings about ourselves are valid, but also don’t change how society perceives us.

So, don’t take up space of / speak over folks actually deemed undesirable by society just bc of how you see yourself.

Also lots to be said about the *huge* difference conventionally attractive folks feeling unattractive/undesirable vs folks actually deemed as unattractive/undesirable by society trying to love themselves / loving themselves despite massive societal pressures.

tl;dr
- self-perception & societal perception of attractiveness are different
- feelings are valid, but *aren’t* the same as socialization
- understand your positionality and act accordingly