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@Haqiqatjou @Abuamerican @mohammed_hijab @Peace_Bruv @AIdrisPalmer @IsmailRoyer @NabeelAzeezDXB @DeadHellOnEarth @EightyFiveXs @Farid_TSD @ShaykhZahir @abuzzubair Divorce and Muslim men in the West. Thread.
Muslim men who provide for their families on their own and maintain traditional family structures are particularly vulnerable to divorce in western countries. A vulnerability which needs to be spoken about within our community.
A local brother in my masjid just told me he got divorced to his wife of 4 years. He is 39 and she is 29. They have 1 child about 18 months of age. He always worked and she never worked. He had a net worth of about £600,000 when he married her.
This wealth included a £400,000 home with no mortgage. She had student loans debt of about £6,000 at the time of marriage which he helped her pay off – he gave her a mahr of £20,000, paid in one go which she spent on herself and her parents.
They divorced. And she insisted on seeking a financial settlement in the English courts. When advised this is against shariah. Her answer was “Islam tells us to obey the law of the land”!!
She requested Khul and was advised to return the £20,000 he gave her by a well known scholar. She said she could not. The brother did not give khul as he suspected some type of extra marital relationship ( not necessarily zina).
She went to another scholar who advised her they only administer divorce if all issue including financial and custodial are also voluntarily agreed upon by Shari arbitration. She refused to consider this and said the children access must be decided by English law only.
So she paid another “Sharia Council” £300 who gave her a Faskh within weeks WITHOUT having a meeting with the husband. Great business model I must say!
At the time they split up the house was worth about the same and he had accumulated savings and investments of around 100,000.
She now lives in the house he purchased with his money and it seems she will be able to stay in his property as long as she is looking after the child.
She now lives in the house he purchased with his money and it seems she will be able to stay in his property as long as she is looking after the child.
The brother is currently sleeping on the couch at his elderly parents place. The ex wife alleges ( only after they split up) that there was domestic violence. Means he cannot even go near his own property due to her staying there, as she obtained an ex parte restraining order.
She got “nikah” to an unemployed brother who sometimes also lives at the ex husbands house. This marriage happened within weeks of the divorce.
Though the new husband has a history of criminality and even some violence and has no relation to the child, he can live with his new wife and the child and there is no social services intervention needed?!
This allegation also gives her FREE legal aid. Whereas the brother has so far shelled out about £22,000 in legal costs on the divorce, custody battle and financial settlement.
She claimed for alimony from her ex husband. To maintain her as she has never worked. The brother due to all the stress of the divorce lost his job. Therefore, he cannot pay her alimony. Therefore the court awarded his ex wife a further £ 50,000 as a lump sum in lieu.
The brother now has about £4,500 left. No job. No house. A child who he is allowed to see at a “safe” centre once a month for a couple of hours at a time while social services assess him, including within that assessment of religious extremism which the ex wife threw in.
The brother is in no way extreme.
This type of story is so incredibly common for Mulims in the west. Yet….
This type of story is so incredibly common for Mulims in the west. Yet….
I never heard a khutbah warning and advising the women to fear Allah with regards to their ex husbands wealth. Explaining the difference between the Islamic conception of ownership of wealth and rights of wealth and the different one found in most western jurisdictions.
I have never heard a khutbah warning women to fear Allah about false allegations about ex husbands – because the system allows women to benefit from it.
I never heard a khutbah that going to a court which does not rule by the shariah to claim rights and deny rights, claim wealth which does belong to you is a major sin or even kufr.
And when the law of the land allows arbitration outside of the law ( like in the UK) we Must solve our issues according to Shariah Judgement. We are talking about civil disputed here only obviously.
I have never heard a khutbah telling fathers and brothers of divorced women that THEY are responsible for the financial upkeep of their divorced daughters or sisters and NOT the ex husbands.
If I know 30 cases like this ( and worse) in the last couple of years within “practicing” families Including far more serious and blatant ones which the ex husbands have not given me permission to retell due to ongoing legal issues. Even one suicide. Then how big is this problem?
So, when will Muslims deal with this gigantic killer elephant in the room?
If we allow this to go unchecked, we will undermine marriage within our community.
If we allow this to go unchecked, we will undermine marriage within our community.
