We all know that the sled dogs are super-athletes with a keen sense of adventure, family loyalty, and courage beyond belief.

But did you know they’re also soft?
I will be ranking the sled dogs from least to most soft, on a scale of 1-10. To do this, I will use a scientific scale known as the SSSI, or Sled Dog Softness Index. Each dog’s SSSI score is based on two categories: the softness of individual hairs, and overall fluffiness.
BraverMountain Mushing’s least soft dog is Jenga. Jenga scores a 4. She has some hound blood mixed in with the husky, and she has coarse hairs, especially in summer. Her coat never gets thick.
BraverMountain Mushing’s least soft dog is Jenga. Jenga scores a 4. She has some hound blood mixed in with the husky, and she has coarse hairs, especially in summer. Her coat never gets thick.
BraverMountain Mushing’s least soft dog is Jenga. Jenga scores a 4. She has some hound blood mixed in with the husky, and she has coarse hairs, especially in summer. Her coat never gets thick.
It has come to my attention that this scientific scale is actually called the SDSI, not the SSSI. The Times regrets the error.
The next dog is Spike. Spike scores a 5 on the SDSI. He is fluffy, but his individual hairs curl at the ends (see fig. 2), making them rough to the touch.
The next dog is Spike. Spike scores a 5 on the SDSI. He is fluffy, but his individual hairs curl at the ends (see fig. 2), making them rough to the touch.
The next dog is Spike. Spike scores a 5 on the SDSI. He is fluffy, but his individual hairs curl at the ends (see fig. 2), making them rough to the touch.
The next dog is Spike. Spike scores a 5 on the SDSI. He is fluffy, but his individual hairs curl at the ends (see fig. 2), making them rough to the touch.
After Spike, we jump to a score of 7. There are several dogs in this category. Brothers Jeff Sharlet, Talese, and Boo, as well as relative newcomer Colbert, all exhibit thick, dense fur. And big hearts.
After Spike, we jump to a score of 7. There are several dogs in this category. Brothers Jeff Sharlet, Talese, and Boo, as well as relative newcomer Colbert, all exhibit thick, dense fur. And big hearts.
After Spike, we jump to a score of 7. There are several dogs in this category. Brothers Jeff Sharlet, Talese, and Boo, as well as relative newcomer Colbert, all exhibit thick, dense fur. And big hearts.
After Spike, we jump to a score of 7. There are several dogs in this category. Brothers Jeff Sharlet, Talese, and Boo, as well as relative newcomer Colbert, all exhibit thick, dense fur. And big hearts.
After Spike, we jump to a score of 7. There are several dogs in this category. Brothers Jeff Sharlet, Talese, and Boo, as well as relative newcomer Colbert, all exhibit thick, dense fur. And big hearts.
Yearling Wickson scores an 8.5 on the SDSI. Petting his fur is roughly comparable to stroking an angel’s eyelashes.
Yearling Wickson scores an 8.5 on the SDSI. Petting his fur is roughly comparable to stroking an angel’s eyelashes.
Yearling Wickson scores an 8.5 on the SDSI. Petting his fur is roughly comparable to stroking an angel’s eyelashes.
Our next dog is Grinch. Grinch’s fur, with a score of 9, is as plush and squishy as his personality. He will melt into you and you, in turn, will melt into him.
Our next dog is Grinch. Grinch’s fur, with a score of 9, is as plush and squishy as his personality. He will melt into you and you, in turn, will melt into him.
Our next dog is Grinch. Grinch’s fur, with a score of 9, is as plush and squishy as his personality. He will melt into you and you, in turn, will melt into him.
We interrupt this broadcast because the very soft dogs are demanding that I feed them dinner IMMEDIATELY. The softness pageant will continue when I return. In the meantime, please pet the dog, cat, or friendly human that happens to be nearest to you.
Next up is Flame. Flame scores a 9.2. She is so soft that soft-seeking baby birds nest on her silky back hairs.
Next up is Flame. Flame scores a 9.2. She is so soft that soft-seeking baby birds nest on her silky back hairs.
Next up is Flame. Flame scores a 9.2. She is so soft that soft-seeking baby birds nest on her silky back hairs.
Baby birds, like baby dogs, are the best judges of softness. Babies are the world’s experts. This is why puppies have determined which dog will receive our first SDSI of 10/10.
Willow’s fur is thin, but as smooth and sleek as the finest satin in the universe. You can try to pet her, but good luck! Your hands will slide right off. SDSI 10.
Willow’s fur is thin, but as smooth and sleek as the finest satin in the universe. You can try to pet her, but good luck! Your hands will slide right off. SDSI 10.
Willow’s fur is thin, but as smooth and sleek as the finest satin in the universe. You can try to pet her, but good luck! Your hands will slide right off. SDSI 10.
Willow’s fur is thin, but as smooth and sleek as the finest satin in the universe. You can try to pet her, but good luck! Your hands will slide right off. SDSI 10.
Our next SDSI 10 is Willow’s brother Xander. His forehead is made of spun clouds and his ears are made of rainbows.
Our next SDSI 10 is Willow’s brother Xander. His forehead is made of spun clouds and his ears are made of rainbows.
Our next SDSI 10 is Willow’s brother Xander. His forehead is made of spun clouds and his ears are made of rainbows.
Two-year-old siblings Anya and Clem have silky guard hairs over a thick layer of plush, downy undercoat. They are as soft as your best friend’s love. They both score 11 on the SDSI.
Two-year-old siblings Anya and Clem have silky guard hairs over a thick layer of plush, downy undercoat. They are as soft as your best friend’s love. They both score 11 on the SDSI.
Two-year-old siblings Anya and Clem have silky guard hairs over a thick layer of plush, downy undercoat. They are as soft as your best friend’s love. They both score 11 on the SDSI.
Pepe doesn’t just lead the team through hundreds of miles of arctic wilderness; she also scores a whopping 11.7 on the scale. See that pineapple? She stole it off a picnic table because she is so soft that she needed to claim a pointy object to restore balance to the universe.
Pepe doesn’t just lead the team through hundreds of miles of arctic wilderness; she also scores a whopping 11.7 on the scale. See that pineapple? She stole it off a picnic table because she is so soft that she needed to claim a pointy object to restore balance to the universe.
Pepe doesn’t just lead the team through hundreds of miles of arctic wilderness; she also scores a whopping 11.7 on the scale. See that pineapple? She stole it off a picnic table because she is so soft that she needed to claim a pointy object to restore balance to the universe.
Puppies aren’t eligible for the SDSI... unless they happen to be puppies or extraordinary softness. Grinker is softer than a unicorn’s neck as it prances through a field of lupine. 12/10
Puppies aren’t eligible for the SDSI... unless they happen to be puppies or extraordinary softness. Grinker is softer than a unicorn’s neck as it prances through a field of lupine. 12/10
Puppies aren’t eligible for the SDSI... unless they happen to be puppies or extraordinary softness. Grinker is softer than a unicorn’s neck as it prances through a field of lupine. 12/10
Forrest Gump is as soft as a feather floating on a summer breeze. 12.6/10
Forrest Gump is as soft as a feather floating on a summer breeze. 12.6/10
Forrest Gump is as soft as a feather floating on a summer breeze. 12.6/10
Forrest Gump is as soft as a feather floating on a summer breeze. 12.6/10
Next up is Hari. Hari is softer than four baby lambs eating cotton candy. 14/10 forever.
Next up is Hari. Hari is softer than four baby lambs eating cotton candy. 14/10 forever.
Next up is Hari. Hari is softer than four baby lambs eating cotton candy. 14/10 forever.
Boudica is the second-softest dog on the whole team. Her fur reaches whole new dimensions of softness. Don’t get me started on her ears! It is a good thing they are on opposite sides of her head, because if they were closer together, they would break the laws of physics. 17/10
Boudica is the second-softest dog on the whole team. Her fur reaches whole new dimensions of softness. Don’t get me started on her ears! It is a good thing they are on opposite sides of her head, because if they were closer together, they would break the laws of physics. 17/10
Boudica is the second-softest dog on the whole team. Her fur reaches whole new dimensions of softness. Don’t get me started on her ears! It is a good thing they are on opposite sides of her head, because if they were closer together, they would break the laws of physics. 17/10
We have come to the softest dog.
Let me tell you about this dog. Her fur is a golden meadow of heaven. Her voice is as pure as winter air.
Her name is Refried.
Refried is 9 years old. She has run hundreds of miles with the silkiest, softest, plushest fur imaginable. She sings constantly, mile after mile, reveling in the feeling of being so soft and so strong and so kind and so beautiful and so loved.
Refried is 9 years old. She has run hundreds of miles with the silkiest, softest, plushest fur imaginable. She sings constantly, mile after mile, reveling in the feeling of being so soft and so strong and so kind and so beautiful and so loved.
Refried is 9 years old. She has run hundreds of miles with the silkiest, softest, plushest fur imaginable. She sings constantly, mile after mile, reveling in the feeling of being so soft and so strong and so kind and so beautiful and so loved.
Refried is 9 years old. She has run hundreds of miles with the silkiest, softest, plushest fur imaginable. She sings constantly, mile after mile, reveling in the feeling of being so soft and so strong and so kind and so beautiful and so loved.
Refried is 9 years old. She has run hundreds of miles with the silkiest, softest, plushest fur imaginable. She sings constantly, mile after mile, reveling in the feeling of being so soft and so strong and so kind and so beautiful and so loved.
Refried’s score is so high that she blasts the SDSI into oblivion. Who are we to think we can quantify something as magic as sled dog fur?
And that, my friends, is the story of the softest sled dogs in the land.

The end.
And that, my friends, is the story of the softest sled dogs in the land. The end.
And that, my friends, is the story of the softest sled dogs in the land. The end.
And that, my friends, is the story of the softest sled dogs in the land. The end.
And that, my friends, is the story of the softest sled dogs in the land. The end.
You can follow @BlairBraverman.
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