There is an art to replying and commenting, and probably like 60-70% of people I’ve seen on the internet fail at it. The important thing is not to speak your mind, but to “support” the OP. You can support them by disagreeing well & you can “mis-support” them by agreeing stupidly
Every “utterance” (status, tweet, whatever) is a bit of an invitation, a bit of a proposal. “Let’s play this game”. When strangers read the proposal accurately, and support the game, a shared understanding develops. You can make friends this way.
Some people deliberately choose to ignore, misread, disregard or denounce other people’s bids. Others are outright clueless and don’t know how to play, and sometimes cluelessness leads to worse bungling than deliberate malice (JJ’s razor) https://twitter.com/Ctzn5/status/739895135870148608
I was a lot more belligerent and disagreeable when I was younger, in part because I simplistically thought playing other people’s games was a sheep-like way to live. Why should I support other people’s dumb games? Why not mock them instead? It’s easy, and intoxicating
I learned that you rarely build anything worthwhile that way. The “best” case scenario: you win over other disagreeable people. A few years of this & it becomes the world you live in – surrounded by other belligerent assholes who don’t know or care how to play nice. A cursed life
We can’t choose where we are born, or our family, and our initial set of friends is heavily influenced by happenstance. But we can choose who we want to be associated with subsequently. All problems are interpersonal problems, but we kind of get to choose which ones we want
Many different lines of enquiry have led me to this same conviction:

The best guiding question in life is, “Who do you want to share this life with?”

*Everything else* can be determined from this question. Your ethics, beliefs, actions, habits... https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1004559829384376320?s=21
Francis Bacon, Of Discourse

- don’t be tedious
- let other people talk
- if someone is hogging, cut him off
- ask questions that people can look good answering
- don’t be a poser with smartass questions
- don’t bitch about others
- eloquence is overrated
- It’s Not About You
George Washington:

1. Respect others
13. If your friend has lice, remove it privately
38. When visiting the sick, don’t play physician
41. “Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes”
46. Take all admonition thankfully
49. Use no reproachful language
50. ”Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any”
56. Associate with quality people
58. No malice or envy
61. Don’t intimidate the ignorant
62. Don’t ruin the mood; if someone else does, fix it
64. Don’t laugh at others’ misfortune
66. Be courteous
68. Give not advice without being asked

70. Reprehend not the imperfection of others

71. Gaze not on the blemishes of others and ask not how they came

73. Think before you speak

74. When another speaks, be attentive and do not interrupt
79. Don’t relate news if you don’t know the truth

80. Be not tedious in discourse

81. Be not curious to know the affairs of others

86. In disputes, be not desirous to overcome; give liberty to each to deliver his opinion

105. Be not angry at the table whatever happens
Relatedly: https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1033439375114133505?s=21
examples of cruel (or incompetent) vs nourishing https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1020896955856064512
IMHO this is an example of good reply game (contrast it with all the other replies) https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1106494579983839233?s=21
On good reply game when pitching reads to people. If you want us to prioritize your bid over everything else competing for our attention, you have to sell us on it https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1157733517100404736?s=21
Never mass-message people with some spammy “buy my book” message. Not only is it selfish and annoying, your odds of success are terrible. Everybody loses https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1090136908443742208?s=21
https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1252069495385911297
You can follow @visakanv.
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